64705678_10157722991506490_777492954360053760_o.jpg

Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Secret Invasion: Amazing Spider-Man #1

Secret Invasion: Amazing Spider-Man #1

Brand New Secret Invasion Part One

20 20 08 03 %h 02 48 5bbq7.png

Joe Robertson, Dexter Bennett, Betty Brant and Vin Gonzales are fleeing in a car from a Super-Skrull with the power of six of Spider-Man’s greatest foes. The only person around to protect them is the novice superhero known as Jackpot. How did this all happen? Well….

The Night Before

Jackpot was investigating the shady business dealings of Walter Declun and this has led her to a warehouse where she thinks an illegal smuggling operation is going on. She attacks the men working in the warehouse, but when she checks the boxes she finds they contain some very legal video players.[1]

That Morning

Vin Gonzalez is knocking on the bedroom door of his roommate, Peter Parker to collect his half of the rent. However, he discovers that Parker is missing in action again and finds this suspicious.[2] While on duty, Vin goes down to the Coffee Bean where he finds Carlie Cooper and Lily Hollister having coffee. Unfortunately, they haven’t seen Peter Parker either. Carlie is certain that Peter isn’t skipping out on rent. As Vin is getting up to leave, the girls are joined by Harry Osborn. When Carlie asks what he and Lily are up to today, Harry quips that they are going to be investigating what the obscenely rich do with their day, saying he’d offer Carlie and Vin to join them if they weren’t working. When Carlie says she’ll join them tomorrow, Harry jokes that it could be the end of the world tomorrow.

Meanwhile, Jackpot has made the front page of the DB! with the newspaper suggesting she’s a crackpot after her botched bust the night before.[3] She is amazed that the paper has become an even trashier tabloid since it was bought by Dexter Bennett.[4] Still, she can’t have the paper making her appear as though she is above the law and decides to go down and get them their statements retracted. However, when Jackpot arrives she discovers that the government has sent Helen Rogers, the union rep for the Super-Human Registration Act. The union official is quite the fireplug and refuses to wait outside in the lobby and barges into the DB!’s bullpen with Jackpot in tow so she can speak with Dexter Bennett.

Ranting and raving the whole way, Helen attracts the attention of Betty Brant, who wrote the article that was published. She insists to Helen Rogers that her report was based on eye-witness accounts as well as from reports from the officers who arrived on the scene. Jackpot, who thinks this is getting out of control, tries to speak to Brant one-on-one saying that she wasn’t intending this being so confrontational. That’s when Dexter Bennett enters the office with Joe Robertson in tow. Joe is upset that Bennett is still putting his name on the DB! even though he quit the paper.[5] That’s when Dexter notices Jackpot and demands to know why there is a superhero in his newsroom. The various arguments are carried into the boardroom where everyone continues to shout over one another, much to the humiliation of Jackpot who can’t believe she’s stuck in the middle of all of this.

In Soho, Harry and Lily are trying to figure out where to have lunch when they notice a massive alien space ship appear in the sky. This is also noticed by Vin Gonzales and his partner Al O’Neil as they receive a call to deal with the disturbance going on at the DB! The call for assistance was made by Betty Brant who discovered that Rogers has a habit of creating a scene. That’s when everyone in the DB! boardroom notices the alien ship as well. Back in Soho, Harry and Lily narrowly avoid getting crushed by a Super-Skrull warrior that lands in the middle of the street. Seeing the massive alien creature, Lily tells Harry that this is his chance to prove how fast Osborns really are. While at that same moment, Vin is calling in the alien ship when something crashes into the DB! Building.[6] He and Al then rush up into the building to see i anyone needs any help.

In the board room, everyone has ducked away from the shattering glass. When Jackpot look up she sees that the person who came crashing into the boardroom appears to be Spider-Man. However, this is another Skrull impostor who grabs Jackpot by the throat and demands to know where Spider-Man is. Betty quickly realizes that this isn’t Spider-Man and suggests that they all evacuate the building. While Jackpot fights back against this impostor, it reveals that it is a Skrull. Back on the streets, Harry and Lily are trying to run for cover when they suddenly find themselves trapped in an alley between two different Super-Skrulls.

Back at the DB!, Jackpot tries to put the Skrull invader under arrest but he quickly overpowers her. Changing shape, this Super-Skrull reveals that he has the powers of Rhino, Venom, Electro, the Lizard, Hydro-Man, and Sandman. He tells everyone in the building that he can kill them all in six different ways and asks which one of them wants to die first.

Recurring Characters

Jackpot, Skrulls, Vin Gonzales, Carlie Cooper, Lily Hollister, Harry Osborn, Betty Brant, Joe Robertson, Dexter Bennett, Alan O’Neil

Continuity Notes

  1. For more on Jackpot’s investigation into Walter Declun see Amazing Spider-Man Annual #35.

  2. Peter isn’t around because, as Spider-Man, he is trapped in the Savage Land with the rest of the Avengers as seen in Secret Invasion #1-8.

  3. The DB! newspaper references a few things that are going on in Amazing Spider-Man at the time this story was published:

    • It has an update about the race for the mayor of New York between Randall Crowne and Bill Hollister. This election has a subplot in Amazing Spider-Man from issue #546 to 588. Ultimately, J. Jonah Jameson gets elected mayor in Amazing Spider-Man #592.

    • The newspaper also gossips about a “Osborn Bump” which is reference to Norman Osborn’s support of Crowne as seen in Amazing Spider-Man #568-573.

  4. Dexter Bennett bought the Daily Bugle and rebranded it the DB! in Amazing Spider-Man #548.

  5. Joe Robertson quit his job at the DB! over ethical issues in Amazing Spider-Man #561.

  6. Vin can’t remember what the code is for an alien ship. Dispatch tells him that if he’s reporting a Galactus siting the code is F-F-4-8. This is a reference to Fantastic Four #48, the first appearance of Galactus.

Topical References

  • Outdated technology: Jackpot uses a digital camera to take photos of a crime scene. DVD players

  • Historical reference: Helen Rogers tries to take charge of the conversation like she did in “Berkeley in ‘83.” She is likely referring to the unionization of teachers assistants at the University of Berkely that happened in 1983. That said, references that she participated in the formation of that union should be considered a topical reference.

Amazing Spider-Man Family #7

Amazing Spider-Man Family #7

Secret Invasion: Amazing Spider-Man #2

Secret Invasion: Amazing Spider-Man #2