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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Spider-Man/Wolverine #2

Spider-Man/Wolverine #2

Twelve Years Ago….

Wolverine was assigned on a mission to eliminate Takeshi Kishimoto a ruthless warlord who was building a powerful drug empire. Usually, Logan would deal with something like this up close and personal, but due to Kishimoto’s Japanese heritage, the shame of being arrested and jailed would cause more shame than defeating him in battle. Therefore, Wolverine broke into Takeshi’s compound in order to find evidence of his crimes. It was supposed to be a simple operation until Wolverine took a wrong turn into a bathroom where a woman was cleaning herself. Spotting the costumed mutant the woman then beckoned him to come.

Now

Peter Parker and Logan are being interrogated over what happened. The person questioning them then runs down what Peter has already told them, that he was sent by Nick Fury to rescue Wolverine from Kishimoto and that he when he found Wolverine he was a prisoner of the man he once helped put away twelve years earlier. Since Logan was emaciated and savagely beaten, she asks what happened next. Thinking about how he went into a berzerker rage, Wolverine simply says he did what he does best.

That’s when Peter Parker interjects, clearly upset, to tell the person questioning them that Wolverine slaughtered the enemy soldiers before he could do anything about it. The two begin exchanging insults until their interrogator tells them that the clock is still ticking, drawing their attention to the hour glass on the table and asks them to explain what happened next…

Then

Spider-Man had run for cover in the jungle of the Japanese island, missing the relative protection from bullets the buildings in New York provided as he scrambles to refill his web-shooters with fresh cartridges. However, when he finally returns to the battle, all the soldiers have been killed by Wolverine. Noticing Logan has been shot, Spider-Man suggests he get some medical attention until he watches as Wolverine’s healing factor rapidly heals the wounds, pushing the bullets out of his body.

That’s when Spider-Man’s spider-sense begins going off and he pushes Logan to cover as a helicopter arrives and begins opening fire on them with a heavy machine gun. s they duck for cover, Spider-Man asks what Logan did to piss off his captor and Logan says he got involved with Takeshi’s daughter. However, this was some time ago and Logan admits that Kishimoto carries a grudge for a very long time. Wolverine then has Spider-Man fire a web-line up at the chopper so he can climb up and deal with the shooter up close and personal. Spotting Wolverine climbing up to him, Takeshi shoves one of his soldiers out of the way of the gun so he can shoot Logan himself. However, Wolverine had managed to swing around and taken out the chopper pilots and gets the drop on Kishimoto.

When Logan catches up with Spider-Man, the web-slinger has found a camera that had a built-in transmitter that was sending the signal to a satellite, apparently, Takeshi Kishimoto was transmitting the footage to someone else. The web-slinger has deduced that Logan probably wants to find out who that person was and he knows how to find that out. However, Spider-Man only agrees to help Wolverine as long as he promises not to kill anyone else. Spider-Man then holds his hand out for Logan to shake on it.

Now

When relating this moment, Wolverine then tells the person questioning him that he had his fingers crossed when he shook on it. Peter thinks Logan is telling a joke, but Logan says he wasn’t kidding. That’s when the interrogator asks how they managed to get off an island off the coast of Japan with no food or water. Peter then tries to explain the situation as quickly as possible but an explanation still takes more than twenty minutes. When the interrogator asks if any of this is made up, Logan says he wishes it was. Peter says that it was at this point that they managed to get to a phone….

Then

Spider-Man called Mister Fantastic at the Baxter Building back in New York City. He was in the middle of working on a new invention with the help of his wife, the Invisible Woman. With this help, Spider-Man is able to learn that the signal was sent to a location in Paris. Wolverine says that’s all well and good except for the fact that Spider-Man insists on wearing his costume even though he is wearing some local clothing. This is going to be a problem if they are going to be traveling the globe. After a moment’s consideration, Peter takes off his mask and reintroduces himself to Logan.[1] Logan tells Peter that they should get moving because there’s a storm coming

Now

Spider-Man is about to tell their interrogator about the next leg of their adventure, but their interrogator tells them to skip ahead to what happened in Paris. Peter leaves Wolverine to continue with this part of the story. Think of how he was hit by a car shortly after their arrival in Paris, Logan tells the person interrogating them that Paris was crap.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Wolverine, Takeshi Kishimoto, Aunt May (unidentified), Mister Fantastic, Invisible Woman

Continuity Notes

  1. Peter revealing his identity to Wolverine doesn’t make much sense here since Logan has known Peter Parker’s secret identity since Spider-Man Versus Wolverine #1. You could assume that this part of the story is made up for the sake of their interrogator who, if you haven’t guessed is revealed to be Aunt May at the end of this series. Probably because at the time of this story, May had only just figured out that Peter was Spider-Man in Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 2) #35, she would probably get upset if she learned that Wolverine found out her nephew’s secret identity before she did.

Topical References

  • Dated pop-culture references: Spider-Man references an episode of Full House.

Spider-Man/Wolverine #1

Spider-Man/Wolverine #1

Spider-Man/Wolverine #3

Spider-Man/Wolverine #3