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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Spider-Man vs. Vampires #1-3

Spider-Man vs. Vampires #1-3

Note: Spider-Man vs. Vampires was originally published as a digital exclusive that was broken up into three chapters that were published separately. All three chapters were then released together in print as a one-shot. Due to the fact that the chapters are all brief I have presented them all together as they were in the print edition.

The Spider & The Sword

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Chapter One

Years Ago…[1]

Spider-Man is on his way home after a disastrous experiment back at Empire State University.[2] That’s when he hears someone on the street calling for help. The man is being chased by three others. When Spider-Man attacks his pursuers he is shocked to discover they are actually vampires. He quickly fights off the vampires and webs them up.

Deciding to figure out what’s going on, Spider-Man searches one of the vampires and finds an invitation for the UVC Darkside Dance that is taking place between midnight and 3 am at the Martinique Hotel. After calling the Avengers to pick up the vampires, Spider-Man checks things out at the Martinique. There he is surprised to see that it is a gathering for vampires to participate in cage matches against one another. He notes that the lead vampire is sitting on a throne watching it all and decides to look around, even though vampires aren’t really his thing.

The organizer of this event is Solomon Negus and he and his fellow vampires have been creating synthetic vampires to compete in the ring as a form of entertainment. Unfortunately, the synthetic vampires burn out faster than they can find new combatants, and sooner or later people are going to start making connections between all the disappearances in the city. This is of no concern to Solomon who orders his minions to find more bodies for the arena.

Meanwhile, Spider-Man has made his way into a back room where subjects for transformation are being held. In the center of the room is Blade, the Vampire Hunter. Spider-Man worries about his ability to take down these vampires if they were strong enough to beat Blade. That’s when he is caught by Solomon and his minions. When Spider-Man tries to attack, Solomon easily overpowers Spider-Man and as he transforms into his vampire form decides to repay the wall-crawler for all the time and money he has wasted.

Chapter Two

When Spider-Man wakes up he finds himself in the vampire’s caged arena. Checking his neck he is horrified to discover that he has been bitten. Worse, his captors have brought Blade into the arena for the pair to fight to the death. Spider-Man tries to talk to Blade but he goes into a berzerker rage and starts attacking him. Spider-Man evades all of Blade’s attacks when he is suddenly stricken by pain. Ripping open the front of his mask, Spider-Man suddenly grows a set of vampire fangs. He too goes into a sudden rage and begins fighting back against Blade. Spider-Man is in a blind rage until one of Blade’s blows knocks some sense into him.

Spider-Man then knocks out Blade and then bends the bars on their cage. Before the vampires can stop him, Spider-Man flees with Blade carried under his arm. Spider-Man takes Blade to Empire State University. There he determines that they have been changed by a chemically enhanced version of vampire hemoglobin and uses the school’s tanning beds to burn it out of their systems with UV light. The trick works and Spider-Man and Blade are restored to normal. Blade tells Spider-Man that Solomon Negus is a two-thousand-year-old vampire from Sudan. He explains that Negus is trying to unify all of the vampires into a single nation. He has been gaining money and influence from his secret fight clubs in order to reach his goals. He was able to stop them in Europe, but now Solomon has moved his operations to the United States. However, defeating Solomon won’t be easy as he has fought against Dracula and won.

However, before they can shut down this operation Blade needs to go back to his safe house to stock up with weapons. His time in the UV tanning bed has given him some ideas on how to fight back.

Chapter Three

Solomon Negus has decided that it is time to move operations as he does not wish to have to deal with America’s superheroes. That’s when Spider-Man and Blade come crashing into the warehouse. They have come armed with pellets that give off a burst of UV rays on impact and use them against the pseudo-vampires, returning them to human form. While Spider-Man wraps up Solomon’s assistant, Mister Chin, Blade faces the head vamprie himself. As they fight, one of Solomon’s slashing blows cuts loose Blade’s bandolier, leaving him without ant pellets to use against his foe.

As the two trade blows, Solomon offers Blade a chance to serve by his side, seeing Blade’s ability to be out in the daylight as a benefit to his organization. Blade naturally refuses but he is quickly losing the battle. Seeing his friend in danger, Spider-Man spots a UV pellet on the ground and snatches it up. He then swings past Solomon and tosses it down the vampire’s throat. This lights Solomon’s head on fire and he runs away. Despite Spider-Man and Blade’s efforts to capture him, Solomon manages to reach the sewers and escape.

In the aftermath of the battle, Blade tells Spider-Man that he’ll deal with helping the surviving victims and promises the web-slinger that he’ll find Solomon and put an end to him. Before he goes, Spider-Man tries to part with a joke: He points out that he got his powers from a spider and is called Spider-Man, while Iron Man wears a suit of armor. Since Blade derives his powers from vampires he suggests calling him Batman, but Blade stops him before he completes his punchline. Spider-Man then leaves, telling Blade that if he runs into any more vampires hesitate to call him to help.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Blade, Solomon Negus, Dracula (flashback)

Continuity Notes

  1. Per the Marvel Chronology Project, this story takes place between the events of Spider-Man Unlimited #22 and Sensational Spider-Man #32, placing it as occurring during “Year Ten” of the Modern Age.

  2. During this period of time, Peter had gone back to Empire State Unversity to try and complete his graduate degree. This period occurred between Spectacular Spider-Man #241 and Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 2) #1.

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