Spider-Man's Tangled Web #16
Heartbreaker Part 1
After suffering a heart attack while robbing a bank, the mobster known as Tombstone is rushed to the hospital. Unfortunately, treating this unique patient is difficult due to his rock hard skin. Not only do needles break when they try to draw blood, they can’t even x-ray his body because they can’t machine cannot penetrate his skin.[1] However, the FBI soon arrives to take Tombstone into custody. The doctors are relieved that they have come for the criminal but ask him to take him far away from Harlem. The FBI agents assure the doctor that Tombstone is going somewhere far, far away.
Soon, the mobster is transported to the Cage Maximum Security Prison where he is taken to a lab where his powers are examined and nullified with sophisticated machinery. This allows the prison doctors to examine him and discover that he has suffered two heart attacks. One of the doctors is shocked to discover that Tombstone is African-American. When he is told that Tombstone is an albino, they all make a joke that his condition makes him grey instead of white and they all have a good laugh before determining what medical procedures need to be done to prolong the prisoner’s life. Given the brutal nature of the prison, the doctors hope Tombstone makes a good impression with the warden if he wants to survive. At that same moment, Tombstone is mouthing off the warden who decides to stick Tombstone in with the general population. The mobster is unafraid, but the warden warns him that he shouldn’t exert himself because of his heart condition. One the way to his cell, the other prisoners call out to Tombstone vowing to get back at him for various wrongs he committed against them in the past.
The Tombstone is given a cell with John Ohnn, the criminal formerly known as the Spot. When Tombstone asks how he landed in the slammer, he refuses to even name Spider-Man. The mobster doesn’t understand why Ohnn doesn’t just use his powers to teleport out of the prison but is told that the facility was constructed to negate their powers. Tombstone thinks Ohnn is actually afraid of Spider-Man. However, John would rather deal with Spider-Man than his fellow inmates telling Tombstone that he has no friends in the prison. Tombstone then tells John that he has a friend now. Later, Tombstone joins John in line at the cafeteria and tells him to hand over his dessert. However, one of the guards reminds Tombstone that he has special dietary needs and is ordered to get in line with the other disabled prisoners. While getting his food, Tombstone is confronted by the Kangaroo who is speaking in such a thick Australian accent he can’t understand a word he is saying and responds by kicking him in a groin.[2] The pair start fighting but the sudden exertion causes Tombstone to suddenly start suffering heart palpitations allowing the Kangaroo to easily win the fight. The prisoners are then ordered to go back to their cells. Along the way, on of the guards mocks Tombstone, saying he’s glad to see he is already fitting in.
Later, Tombstone meets with Rocket Racer, Hypno-Hustler, and Big Ben, telling them that they are now a crew and that they all answer to him. Most importantly, their job is to protect him. However, Hypno-Hustler points out that nobody respects them. Tombstone intends to get them respect by targeting Kangaroo. This shocks the trio, as everyone is afraid of the Kangaroo. Tombstone intends to change that and when he asks if any of the others have a shiv, Hypno-Hustler reveals that all he has is lube. Surprisingly, Tombstone has a use for it. Later that day, Tombstone intentionally takes a shower alone and sure enough one of the other inmates tries to attack him with a pair of scissors. Tombstone manages to overpower the other inmate and when the guards break up the fight and take him back to his cell, Tombstone manages to smuggle the scissors back to his cell by hiding it up his ass with Hypno-Hustler’s lube. He then hands the knife over to Rocket Racer to stash until he gets the opportunity to strike the Kangaroo. The Racer tells him that the Kangaroo is illiterate and is being taught how to read in the prison library twice a week. As it turns out, Tombstone’s cellmate is the one tutoring the Kangaroo. When Tombstone asks John to help, Ohnn refuses, saying that he is up for parole in three days and doesn’t want to do anything to jeopardize it. Despite this, Tombstone intimidates Ohnn into complying with his demands. At lunch, Tombstone details his plan: When the Kangaroo goes to the washroom Rocket Racer, Hypno-Hustler and Big Ben are to ambush him giving Tombstone and opening to shiv him. Tombstone’s gang warns him that the Kangaroo and his men are already plotting payback for their earlier fight and the guards are placing bets on the outcome of the rivalry.
Later, in the weight room, the Kangaroom and his gang are exercising as their leader details his plans for Tombstone and his gang. They don’t understand a word he is saying until he simplifies what he means that they are going to kill Tombstone. Meanwhile, Tombstone gets chummy with one of the guards, a little person named McKenna. He learns who among the guards is in charge of laying the bets on his rivalry with the Kangaroo and then offers McKenna an opportunity to be the man in charge of things on the block.
When it’s time for the hit on the Kangaroo, John Ohnn leaves him alone prompting Rocket Racer and the others to enter the room and insult Kangaroo’s mother. Angered, Kangaroo gets up but slips on the lube that Hypno-Hustler used to grease the floor. Once the Kangaroo is down the trio rushes him and pin him down. Tombstone enters the room with his scissors, however, before he can deal with the Kangaroo he is ambushed by the guards. The head guard, a man named Sangese tells Tombstone that he’s screwed up for the last time and he’s going to spend time in the hole.
Recurring Characters
Tombstone, Kangaroo, The Spot, Rocket Racer, Hypno-Hustler, Big Ben Donovan
Continuity Notes
Tombstone was given rock-hard skin after being exposed to Diox-3 in Web of Spider-Man #66.
The Kangaroo is depicted and characterized as though he is Frank Oliver, the original Kangaroo who was actually from Australia. However, this isn’t the case as at the time of this story the Kangaroo was dead at the time after being incinerated by radiation in Amazing Spider-Man #126. This is actually his successor Brian Hibbs. As explained in the Kangaroo entry in the All-New Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe #6 , Hibbs kind of lost his shit in prison and started thinking he was the original Kangaroo.
Topical References
The doctors suggest giving Tombstone an Angioplasty operation. This is a procedure in which plastic tubes are inserted into obstructed veins. The tubes are then inflated like balloons in order to open up the blood vessels to their original circumference in order to reverse an obstructed flow of blood. This should be considered topical as medical procedures change over time as technology and techniques advance.
