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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Spider-Woman (vol. 3) #16

Spider-Woman (vol. 3) #16

You Are What EATS You

Captured by Miss Itch and Mister Scratch, Spider-Woman has woken up to discover that she’s trapped inside the body of her foe Flesh, whose eyes and mouth have been stitched shut in order to trap Mattie inside her body. Trying to get free, Spider-Woman discovers that her captors have somehow dampened her power. However, this deal was not exactly what Flesh agreed to either and she complains that she can hardly talk with her mouth sewn shut. However, Itch and Scratch insist that this is all necessary now that they are making sure she is taking better care of herself. They then go on to explain that they are using Spider-Woman as a host body in order to make Skin a normal individual again, saying that Mattie’s unlimited power makes her an ideal candidate. The then tell Mattie and sit back and relax and let Flesh’s memories wash over her. That’s when Mattie begins seeing the past lives of Flesh and her sister Bones before they were transformed into the monstrosity that she first met….

… It was two years ago in Beverly Hills and twin models Donna and Bess Bliss have come to see a doctor who is a specialist in weight loss. They demand that she treat them, but the doctor thinks the twins need psychiatric help since they are already very thin. They insist that they need help to stay thin as it is getting harder and harder to maintain an ideal weight and that they don’t want to end up like “Her”. When the doctor asks who the Bliss sisters are talking about and they decide they have said too much and leave. Outside of the doctor’s office the Bliss sisters began weighing their options and decide to look for other possible treatments in Europe when they get a phone call from the woman they have been trying to avoid….

… Spider-Woman can’t understand how she is seeing Donna Bliss’s memories and is told by Itch and Scratch that Flesh is draining her energy in order to take control of her body causing the two to become one. Refusing to allow this to happen, Spider-Woman uses all her strength to break free. Although she manages to break free from her bonds and rise up from the table, she is too weak to do much more. They are impressed to see such resistance but Miss Itch and Mister Scratch assure Spider-Woman that resistance is futile and tell her to surrender. That’s when more of Donna’s memories begin flooding her mind…

… Donna and Bess have just arrived outside their home. Although they don’t want to enter they remind themselves that they promised their parents that they would look after her. This other woman is Donna and Bess’s sister Bonnie who is morbidly obese and confined to their home. When they enter her room, Bonnie is ravenous and is glad that they have finally arrived with more food. They ask where Rose, the maid they hired to look after Bonnie, and learn that Bonnie fired her because Rose was rude to her. When they suggest that perhaps Bonnie was at fault, their sister gets into a rage. She gets up out of bed and starts ranting and raving at her sisters, accusing them of having everything. However, the exertion of getting up and yelling at her sisters is too much for Bonnie’s weak heart and she eventually collapses to the floor. For a moment, Donna and Bess consider giving Bonnie CPR but decide against it, because if Bonnie dies they’ll finally be free of the promise they made to look after her. They then leave the house and discover that Rose has arrived. Hearing the twins talking, Rose asks if Bonnie is finally dead…

… Spider-Woman can’t believe that Donna and Bess would just allow her sister to die like that. However, Itch and Scratch insist that it’s all true and as they strap her to the table again more memories begin to flood her mind…

… Rose then brought Donna and Bess to see her grandmother who claims to be able to help the twins with their problem. The old woman asks them if they were serious when they said they were willing to sell their souls to achieve their weight loss goals. Donna and Bess are surprised she knows what they had said earlier in the doctors office, but the old woman once again asks if they are willing to give up their immortal souls….

… Reliving this, Donna tries to resist, but Miss Itch and Mister Scratch begin taunting her for trying to avoid remembering the past. They tell her to let the memories flow…

… Back then, the two agreed and were given a potion that the old woman assured them will provide the twins their heart’s desire. After some brief deliberation, Donna and Bess drink the formula and go to bed. That evening, Donna woke up to the sound of her sister screaming. Unaware that she is now just loose flesh, Donna rushed to her sister’s room and is horrified to discover that Bess is nothing more than bones.

…. Miss Itch and Mister Scratch explain that they have made Flesh endure this whole ordeal because they are going to reunite her with her sister so they can be a family again. Since Spider-Woman has stopped resisting, they assume she has already fallen and revealed to Flesh that they are actually her parents. That’s when Spider-Woman reveals that she is still alive and rips free from Flesh’s body with her psychic spider-legs. Furious at being used as a pawn, Mattie demands answers. However, before she can get any the floor suddenly rips open and from the erupting flames emerges Bones. Finally reunited with her sister, Bones vows that this reunion will be celebrated with the death of Spider-Woman.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Woman, Flesh, Bones, Miss Itch, Mister Scratch, (in flashback) Bonnie Bliss, Rosa Esteves

Spider-Woman (vol. 3) #15

Spider-Woman (vol. 3) #15

Spider-Woman (vol. 3) #17

Spider-Woman (vol. 3) #17