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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Spider-Woman (vol. 5) #4

Spider-Woman (vol. 5) #4

Spider-Verse continues from Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 3) #14…

Now

Jessica Drew wakes up in her own bed and is looking forward to her rewarding day of exercise and relaxation. She put in her dues and this is her reward. She thinks back to what led up to this moment…

Then

The Jessica Drew of Loomworld has grown accustomed to her new life as a pirate on the high sees. After being pampered by Captain Namor, she leaves her cabin to address the rest of the crew she is shocked to discover that Silk, Spider-Gwen and Spider-Girl have returned and beat up her entire crew. That’s when the Spider-Woman of Earth-616 gets behind her counterpart and puts a dagger to her throat.

Spider-Woman explains that they haven’t come here just to embarrass Jessica and her crew. In fact, the quartet to female spiders has just come back from fighting the final battle between the Spider-Army and the Inheritors. In the end, the spiders won, the multiverse was saved, and the Inheritors banished where they can cause no further harm.[1] The main reason why they have come is that Spider-Woman wants the assistance of the pirate crew to quell the violence that has erupted on Loomworld since the Inheritor’s defeat. Seeing the power vacuum in action, the Loomworld Jessica isn’t at all interested as she fight her way up from the rats and could care less if Loomworld goes down in flames.

Spider-Woman is disgusted that her counterpart could be so callous, however, she explains that they are bringing Jessica back not to fight, but to become a leader. Realizing that she’d be retaining her grandeur Jessica immediately changes her tune and agrees to return to the mainland. Silk, Spider-Gwen, and Spider-Girl join Captain Namor’s pirate to quell the violence. As the violence is ended, Spider-Woman stays behind and convinces Jessica to become a just ruler. Once everything is under control, Loomworld Jessica addresses her new followers and promises that she will not repeat the same mistakes as their former masters and everyone will live in peace and prosperity on Loomworld forever more. Confident that they have left Loomworld in good hands, Spider-Woman suggests its time for everyone to return home.

Three Days Later

Spider-Woman goes out for coffee with her friend Carol Danvers, aka Captain Marvel. Jessica tells her all about her experiences in the so-called “Spider-War”. They soon arrive at Avengers Tower. When Carol asks why they are here, Spider-Woman refuses to explain herself so Carol doesn’t talk her out of it. There she meets up with Steve Rogers, formerly Captain America, who is now an old man.[2]

Jessica tries to find the words she wants to say when suddenly, an experiment being conducted by the Beast and the Vision causes an alien creature to materialize in the Avengers headquarters. As they fight the monster, Spider-Woman decides to explain herself since they never seem to have a moment’s quiet. As Spider-Woman slays the creature, she decides that this isn’t going to be her life and more. With the monster dead, she puts it bluntly to Steve: She’s quitting the Avengers. After everything she has endured, Jessica just wants to have a normal life and help normal people.[3] Steve accepts her resignation but reminds her that she’ll always be considered an Avenger and that the team will be there for her if she ever needs them.

Leaving Avengers Tower, Captain Marvel is excited about Spider-Woman’s bold new chapter and asks her what she is planning to do. Jessica has no idea what her next step is except for designing a new costume. Carol is excited to hear this, feeling it has been about time.[4]

Continuity Notes

Spider-Woman, Silk, Spider-Gwen, Spider-Girl, Avengers (Steve Rogers, Captain Marvel, Vision, Hawkeye) , Beast, Sub-Mariner-001

Continuity Notes

  1. This two-page spread glosses over the final battle between the Spider-Men and the Inheritors in Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 3) #14.

  2. At the time of this story, Steve Rogers is an old man after spending years in Dimension Z, a realm where time moved much fast. He retired as Captain America, passing on the mantle to the Falcon. See Captain America (vol. 7) #1-25. Steve Rogers will remain like this until he is de-aged in Captain America: Sam Wilson #7 (Sort of, it’s a long story and waaay too long to explain here)

  3. Spider-Woman mentions failed Skrull invasion of Earth, which involved her being replaced by a Skrull Queen who took her place in Giant-Size Spider-Woman #1. See Secret Invasion #1-8.

  4. Jessica quips that Carol used to wear a costume that exposed her butt-cheeks. She is referring to Carol’s second costume as Ms. Marvel. She first started wearing that costume in Ms. Marvel #20. She wore this costume on-and-off for years until she took on the mantle of Captain Marvel and started wearing a different — less revealing and less retro — costume in Avenging Spider-Man #9.

Topical References

Dated pop-culture references: “old school” Eminem, Little Mermaid on Ice

Spider-Woman (vol. 5) #3

Spider-Woman (vol. 5) #3

Spider-Woman (vol. 5) #5

Spider-Woman (vol. 5) #5