64705678_10157722991506490_777492954360053760_o.jpg

Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Tales of Suspense #45

Tales of Suspense #45

The Icy Fingers of Jack Frost!

After busting up a spy ring, Iron Man is in a hurry to get to a nearby race track where he is scheduled to test out his new racecar. Although Tony is ready to go, midrace he suddenly feels a pain in his chest and realizes he forgot to recharge the chest plate that keeps his heart beating. Blacking out, Stark ends up crashing. Luckily, he is rescued by a down-and-out boxer named Harold “Happy” Hogan. When Tony begs for Happy to take him back to his hotel, Hogan complies without question. Once inside, Tony plugs in his chest plate just in time.

When Tony meets with Hogan in the hotel bar he is back to normal. He offers to pay Happy a large sum of money for the rescue, but Happy refuses it outright, saying he could use some honest work instead. Thinking about the day’s close call and how Happy helped him survive, Tony decides to hire him as a bodyguard and chauffeur, a job that Hogan happily accepts.

A few days later, Happy Hogan picks up Tony Stark and drives him to the Stark Industries in Flushing, Long Island. As Tony shows Happy around the facility, he plays up the idea that Iron Man is a close personal friend of his. Tony then introduces Hogan to his secretary, Pepper Potts.[1] Happy is instantly smitten by Tony’s young secretary, but she flat out rejects him and is not quite about the fact that she hopes to one day be married to Tony Stark himself. While Pepper and Happy are bickering, Tony goes into his office to put on his Iron Man armor and test out their systems. That’s when an alarm warns him that someone is trying to break into a vault containing vital materials as well as cash reserves for the company.

Using a secret passageway to get to the vault, Iron Man catches the thief red-handed. It turns out to be Professor Shapanka, one of his employees.[2] Shapanka wants to rob his employer to fund his research in achieving human immortality. Iron Man quickly knocks Shapanka out and leaves him for security while he sneaks back to his office and changes out of his armor. When Tony Stark returns, Shapanka is in the custody of his guards. Tony decides not to call the police due to Shapanka’s past work for the company but fires him on the spot. When Shapanka mocks Stark for his generosity, Stark warns him that he might get cold feet about letting him go free. This gives Shapanka some inspiration and he vows to demonstrate that inspiration later.

Over the next few weeks, Professor Shapanka continues to work independently. Working with cryogenics, he manages to revive a cat he froze earlier. Shapanka believes this will give him the key to immortality. More, he believes he can use his cryogenic technology to cover himself in a protective sheet of ice that will allow him to commit robberies unimpeded. Shapanka uses his powers to rob a bank by freezing everyone at a bank. After pulling this off, Jack Frost next sets his sights on Tony Stark and Iron Man, figuring his powers are more than a match for the armored hero. Reading about his crimes in the paper, he discovers the press is calling him “Jack Frost”, a name he considers corny but takes as his own anyway.

Jack Forst then attacks Stark Industries. Tony is tipped off by Pepper, giving him time to change into Iron Man before Jack Frost forces his way into Tony’s private office. Jack Frost confronts Iron Man after freezing everyone — including Happy and Pepper. Hearing Jack Frost’s voice, Iron Man instantly recognizes him as Professor Shapanka. When Jack’s ice powers prove too much, Iron Man activates a device that can emit a great deal of heat. After Iron Man carries all the frozen people to safety, Jack Frost comes running out to surrender as his protective ice has melted and he can no longer stand the heat. Freed from his icy prison, Happy Hogan wonders why Tony Stark has him around as a bodyguard if Iron Man is always there to save him.

Recurring Characters

Iron Man, Jack Frost, Happy Hogan, Pepper Potts

Continuity Notes

  1. Pepper’s first name is Virginia, a fact that is not revealed until Tales of Suspense #55. Although this is her first appearance, Iron Man: The Iron Age #1 reveals that Pepper had been working for Stark well before he became Iron Man.

  2. Professor Shapanka’s first name is identified as George in Iron Man #87.

Topical References

  • Although the “Stark Special” is supposed to be a state of the art race car, it is depicted as a “midget car” that were popular until the mid to late 60s. Due to safety innovations in the decades since, a midget car would not longer look the way it does in this story as they have such safety innovations such as seat-belts and rollbars (you might have heard of them).

  • After Tony emerges from his hotel room, Happy says he looks more lively than Sonny Liston. This is not really a compliment now considering that Liston has been dead since 1970.

  • The date on the check is the year 1963. This should be considered topical. The amount Tony offers to pay Happy, $50,000 should also be considered topical. Adjusting for inflation this amount would have been $422,893.79 in 2020 money.

  • You can tell this is an old story when they are referencing the “upcoming” 1964 World’s Fair and calling Shea Stadium “brand new”. While a lot of the old World’s Fair infrastructure is still in Flushing Meadows Park, Shea Stadium was torn down and replaced in 2009.

  • Pepper was hoping the new employee was as handsome as Rock Hudson but considers Happy as gruesome as Bela Lugosi. Neither of these are compliments anymore. Hudson has been dead since 1985 while Lugosi died in 1956.

  • Pepper is depicted using a typewriter at her desk, it’s not even a fucking electric typewriter! That’s how old this story is.

  • A photographer uses an old fold-out camera that was common until the late 60s.

Tales of Suspense #44

Tales of Suspense #44

Tales of Suspense #46

Tales of Suspense #46