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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Tales of Suspense #91

Tales of Suspense #91

The Uncanny Challenge of the Crusher!

Tony Stark is testing out his new centrifuge device at Stark Industries. It is a device that can artificially affect the gravity of anyone who uses it. His final test is on a lab rat that he promises to give a mountain of cheese if it works.

Meanwhile, in the island nation of Cuba, the Cuban Prime Minister meets with one of his top scientists.[1] The scientist has created a formula that will endow their leader with great super-human powers and master of the world. However, the Prime Minister is suspicious of the scientist’s claims and orders the scientist to drink it instead. The scientist gladly does so and begins to grow in size, increased muscle mass, and strength. When the Prime Minister orders his men to shoot the scientist, they discover that he is also bulletproof as well. Now calling himself the Crusher, the scientist boasts that he is invincible. His claims appear to be true when he also takes on cannon fire without so much as flinching. Seeing that he can use this power to serve his own agenda, the Prime Minister asks the Crusher to go to America and destroy Iron Man. The Crusher agrees to take on the task, while also plotting to take over Cuba once he comes back victorious.

Not long afterward, Stark — having changed into Iron Man — is still working on his centrifuge device when he hears strange reports about an allegedly indestructible man who arrived on the shores of New Jersey. Unaware that this menace is coming for him, Iron Man figures that this is a matter for the police and turns his radio off. By this time, the Crusher has continued to mutate into a hulking brute. His path to Stark Industries is unstoppable and soon he is smashing down the gates of the famed munitions company.

Iron Man quickly discovers how powerful his foe is as he shrugs off all attacks. Worse, when he tries blasting the Crusher with his repulsor rays they are reflected back at him. With no other choice, Iron Man grabs his centrifugal device and begins blasting the Crusher with it in order to increase his gravity. Iron Man’s warnings to surrender are ignored and ultimately the Crusher’s weight becomes so great he falls through the floor and deep into the Earth.

A short time later, Tony Stark has changed out of his armor and continues his work as though nothing has happened. He is visited by Happy Hogan and his new bride, Pepper Potts.[2] When they ask about the hole in the floor, he tells them it was an accident and begins working on patching it up.

Recurring Characters

Iron Man, the Crusher, Happy Hogan, Pepper Potts

Continuity Notes

  1. The scientist here is always referred to as “El Profesor” in this story. All-New Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe #3 reveals that his name is Caldwell Rozza.

  2. Happy and Pepper had just recently eloped as we learned in Tales of Suspense #89.

Topical References

  • The ruler of Cuba in this story, aka “El Presidente” is depicted as Fidel Castro. This should be considered topical since Castro died in 2016.

  • Likewise, this story was written when tensions between the United States and Cuba were high following the Cuban Missile Crisis of 1962. However, since 2009 relations between the United States and Cuba have softened and diplomatic relations were restored by 2015. Many of the embargos and travel bans between the two countries have since been removed as well. It’ll be interesting to see how Marvel frames these stories in the future.

The Last Defeat!

With the entire population of Manhattan hanging in the balance, Captain America has been forced to pledge allegiance to the Red Skull for a full twenty-four hours. Forced to do so on live television has led the world to believe that Captain America has become a traitor. As he is always true to his word, Captain America has no choice but to stick by his promise.

However, the Red Skull has squandered this time to gloat, and in the final hour of his pledge, he finally decides to steal the new experimental XPT-1 nuclear submarine. When Captain America claims to not know much about the missile, the Red Skull knows he is lying as he is aware the Avengers were recently briefed on the submarine.[1] Captain America relents and reveals the exact latitude and longitude where the sub-mariner is located. Still, the Red Skull doesn’t fully trust the hero and forces him to sit in a painful lie-detecting chair to confirm the truth. Then, deciding that Cap’s usefulness has run out, the Red Skull shackles him to the chair which is then taken to a heat-ray to dispose of him. Luckily, Captain America breaks free and then leaps out a window into the ocean below in the hopes of warning the crew of the XTP-1 before it is too late.

However, the Red Skull uses a “cybernetic sonar activator” to hypnotize the crew and force them to surface the sub. When Captain America boards the vessel he is attacked by his crew. Deducing what happened, Cap races to the generator room and cranks up the power enough so that the energy output interferes with the Red Skull’s mind control. Still, once the crew is freed from the Red Skull’s control they all know how Captain America pledged allegiance to the Skull and continue attacking. That is until the Red Skull, still thinking he has control of the crew, orders them to abandon the ship. It’s while he is giving these orders that he reveals that he forced Captain America to ally with him. Realizing that Captain America is not their enemy, the submarine crew follows his orders.

Disguising himself as a sailor, Captain America orders everyone to continue following the Red Skull’s orders. They all file into the Red Skull’s air-ship as the Skull disembarks to take control of the submarine. It’s only once the ship is far enough away that Captain America reveals that they armed the warheads on board and that the Red Skull has moments to get out before the vessel self-destructs. Unwilling willing to give up his prize, the Red Skull races to try and disarm the explosives but seemingly fails as moments later the submarine explodes.[2] When one of the sailors calls Captain America a hero, he tells him that he isn’t a hero as he is only doing what any American should do.

Recurring Characters

Captain America, Red Skull, (in flashback) the Avengers (Goliath, Wasp, Hawkeye, Quicksilver, Scarlet Witch)

Continuity Notes

  1. There is a brief flashback that shows Captain America among the Avengers getting briefed on the submarine here. The members depicted are Goliath, the Wasp, Hawkeye, Quicksilver, and the Scarlet Witch. Based on the roster and the costumes they are wearing, the Marvel Chronology Project places this flashback as happening between Tales of Suspense #77 and Avengers #30.

  2. Although seemingly blown to smithereens here, the Red Skull survives and will appear again in Captain America #101.

Topical References

  • Captain America states that the XPT-1 Submarine can carry more Polaris missiles than any other submarine in America’s Naval fleet. The UGM-27 Polaris missile was developed in the 1950s. They were the first nuclear missiles to be used on submarines between 1961 and 1966. They have long since been retired as more efficient missiles have been invented. In fact, at the time of this writing (February 2021), there have been 174 different missile generations. America has gotten way more efficient at killing people since 1967. Thanks Raytheon!

Tales of Suspense #90

Tales of Suspense #90

Tales of Suspense #92

Tales of Suspense #92