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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Tales of Suspense #96

Tales of Suspense #96

The Deadly Victory

The Grey Gargoyle has come to Stark Industries to steal a new cobalt weapon. This has led to a clash with Iron Man which ended with the Gargoyle turning Iron Man into stone. He then throws the Avenger off the roof of the building in the hopes of shattering him on the ground. Luckily, SHIELD agent Jasper Sitwell is present and saves Iron Man’s life by catching him in the back of a sand-filled dump truck.

Thinking his foe defeated, the Grey Gargoyle breaks into the room where the cobalt weapon is being kept in a glass display case. When he shatters the glass, he sets off the alarm which is of no concern with the Gargoyle who is eager to use the weapon against his usual enemy, the mighty Thor.[1] Iron Man and Jasper soon catch up with the villain and the fighting begins anew. However, the issue of not being able to touch the Grey Gargoyle continues to be an issue. Iron Man intentionally uses his repulsors to affect the structural integrity of the room. He then knocks the cobal weapon out of the Grey Gargoyle’s hand and orders Jasper to get out of the room. The SHIELD agent ignores this order and dives at the cobalt weapon to try and stop the Gargoyle from getting it again. That’s when the roof collapses. Iron Man quickly digs through the rubble to find Jasper, and discovers that Sitwell survived the collapse because the Gargoyle had turned him into stone.

Not far away, the Grey Gargoyle attempts to make his escape, using the cobalt device on any guards who try to get in his way. When Iron Man catches up with him this time, the Avenger is carrying a tarp. When he throws this tarp on the Grey Gargoyle, it turns into stone on contact, blinding the villain. Unfortuantely, the Grey Gargoyle manages to get free by running into a nearby wall to shatter the stone tarp. With his power running low and the Gargoyle able to turn his own repulsor beams into stone, Iron Man is pressed for solutions. That when the Gargoyle prepares to use the cobalt weapon on him instead. Quick thinking, Iron Man rigs up his chest transmitter to short circuit the device, even though doing so will drain his batteries to a dangerous level.

The gambit pays off and as a side-effect, the Grey Gargoyle is reverted back to human form and promptly arrested. Unfortunately, the strain on Tony Stark’s heart is too great and he collapses to the ground shortly afterwards. Having returned to human form, Jasper Sitwell comes upon Iron Man and is unable to tell if the hero is still breathing. Since Iron Man needs immediate medical attention, the only thing Jasper can think to do is remove Iron Man’s mask as it might just save his life.

Recurring Characters

Iron Man, Grey Gargoyle, Jasper Sitwell,

Continuity Notes

  1. The Grey Gargoyle has had a boner for Thor’s hammer since Journey into Mystery #107. What Duval doesn’t know is that even if he managed to get Thor’s hammer he wouldn’t be able to lift it because he’s not worthy, something that has been established since Journey into Mystery #83. Moreover, the hammer is not the source of Thor’s immortality. In fact, the Asgardians attribute their long lives to eating the golden apples of Idunn. See Thor #370.

To Be Reborn!

Since Steve Rogers publicly revealed his identity and retired as Captain America, men across New York City have been arrested for posing as the hero and causing mischief.[1] The latest round-up prompts the police to call in Rogers to see what has been going on since he quit. Police are also concerned that the criminal underworld will continue to go after Steve for revenge even though he’s retired. However, Rogers is unconcerned about any of this as he wants to live a normal life.

Meanwhile, in a secluded town not far away, a mobster is getting a demonstration from an assassin called the Sniper. Firing a gun with explosive bullets, he demonstrates his skill by blowing out the back of an abandoned home while keeping the front intact. So impressed by this feat of marksmanship the Sniper is hired on the spot.

Meanwhile, a judo instructor who was convinced to dress as Captain America for a publicity stunt is chased across the rooftop by two armed thugs who have mistaken him for the real thing. This altercation is witnessed by Steve Rogers himself from his apartment window. He then races out to help the man. When he faux Captain America is knocked off a building, Steve dangles from a power line to catch him.

By this time, the Sniper is set up in a nearby apartment and fires an explosive shell at the two dangling men. This snaps the cable, sending both men falling. Luckily, Steve is able to guide their fall and spring board off a nearby flagpole. They then land on a nearby rooftop safe and sound. When the Sniper prepares to stake another shot he spots another man who looks identical to Steve Rogers across the way in another window. He aims for this one instead and appears to shoot the man dead. This turns out to be a Life Model Decoy set by SHIELD, distracting the Sniper long enough for Nick Fury and Dum Dum Dugan to come crashing in and make an arrest.

On the nearby rooftop, the two other assassins come to finish off the job they started. However, they did not account for the real Steve Rogers to be there and are quickly taken out. When Fury and Dugan arrive, to take them into custody, Steve has realized that he can’t just retire and agrees with Fury that it is time for the real Captain America to return to action.

Recurring Characters

Captain America, SHIELD (Nick Fury, Dum Dum Dugan)

Continuity Notes

  1. Steve Rogers comes to regret revealing his secret identity to the public after this when he gets targeted by Hydra. This prompts him to fake his death to make the world believe Steve Rogers is dead. I know that sounds flimsy, but he got some secret help from the Space Phantom who used a special satellite to make everyone forget. See Captain America #110-114 and Avengers #106-108. Steve’s identity will remain a secret to the general public until he publicly reveals his identity again in Captain America (vol. 4) #3.

Topical References

  • The Sniper pulls off his amazing feat by shooting his bullet through a keyhole in the front door of the house. This should be considered topical since keyholes haven’t been big enough to fit a fucking bullet since Dinosaurs roaned the Earth (or thereabouts, I may be exaggerating a little) One could assume he shot through a window or something.

Tales of Suspense #95

Tales of Suspense #95

Tales of Suspense #97

Tales of Suspense #97