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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Tales to Astonish #37

Tales to Astonish #37

Trapped by the Protector!

A jeweler named Gerald Marsh has just been robbed and police race to the scene. Also alerted of the crime is Henry Pym, aka the Ant-Man, who has the information relayed to him by a network of ants that he has watching for crime all over the city. Pym quickly changes into his Ant-Man costume and uses his shrinking formula. He then climbs into his catapult and launches himself to the scene of the crime.[1] As he arrives, a swarm of ants forms on the canopy at the entrance of the jewelery shop to cushion his landing.

Ant-Man then meets with Gerald Marsh to learn more about the robbery. Marsh tells him how he was beaten up by a masked man who calls himself the Protector. The Protector has been terrorizing local jewel shops in order to force them to pay him protection money. Up until recently, shop owners have been too afraid to go to the authorities. This changed for Marsh when the Protector came demanding his weekly payment and Gerald didn’t have the money. To make an example of Marsh, the Protector beat the shop owner and then used a disintegration ray to destroy an entire display case of merchandise. The Protector then warned Marsh that if he didn’t pay up next week, something worse would happen.

Ant-Man thanks Gerald for the information and then leaves to begin his investigation. Once outside, Ant-Man is unaware that he is now being watched by the Protector. However, before the villain can attack him, Ant-Man hops onto the front grill of a passing car to ride back home.

Returning to his home, Hank Pym monitors reports coming in from his ants until he gets word that the Protector has reappeared. When the villain appears at another jewelry store, Ant-Man quickly arrives on the scene. When confronting his enemy, Ant-Man has his ants break apart a pearl necklace, causing the Protector to slip on them as they spill all over the floor. Ant-Man then challenges the Protector to face him outside. However, this strategy backfires when the Protector steals a water gun from a passing child and uses it to try and spray Ant-Man into a nearby storm drain. Luckily, someone had discarded a lollypop stick nearby and Ant-Man commands his ants to place it across the grates of the storm drain, allowing Ant-Man to escape this peril. Unfortunately, while Ant-Man was saving his life the Protector managed to escape.

Hank Pym decides to set a trap for his foe. A week later, Pym has set up a jewelry shop of his own in order to trap his foe. Sure enough, the Protector soon arrives and demands that Pym start paying him protection money as well. To demonstrate his power once again he uses his disintegration ray on one of the display cases. When the Protector leaves, he is unaware that some ants have hitched a ride and the location of his hideout has been transmitted across Pym’s network of ants. Changing into Ant-Man, Pym inspects the scene and finds drops of oil, confirming a theory he has had about his enemy. He then follows the signal to the Protector’s hideout.

However, the Protector anticipated being followed and sucks Ant-Man and his army of ants up in a vacuum cleaner. He then removes the bag and glues it shut. The Protector doesn’t realize that Ant-Man retains his normal human strength when he shrinks in size and the tiny hero is able to punch through the bag to free himself. When the Protector comes back to check on his prisoner he discovers the hole in the bag. By this point, Ant-Man has positioned himself on top of a fan and turns it on, causing the contents of the vacuum bag to blow into the Protector’s face. While the crook is disorientated, the police burst in and take him into custody. As it turns out, while Ant-Man was dealing with the crook, he sent a number of ants to give his location to the police.

When the police remove the Protector’s costume they discover that he is none other than Gerald Marsh himself. Marsh wore a mechanical exoskeleton to enhance his strength and make the Protector look larger than he really was. Ant-Man also reveals that the Protector didn’t really have a disintegration ray. In fact, his weapon only created a massive cloud of gas that covered the fact that the Protector actually pocketed the gems. With this caper over, Ant-Man bids farewell to the police and heads for home.

Recurring Characters

Ant-Man

Continuity Notes

  1. A footnote tells readers that Ant-Man built this device last issue.

Tales to Astonish #36

Tales to Astonish #36

Tales to Astonish #38

Tales to Astonish #38