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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Tales to Astonish #51

Tales to Astonish #51

Showdown with the Human Top!

After failing to capture the Human Top, Giant-Man has been training to increase his speed and agility while at his maximum size. Now training with a robotic duplicate of the Top, Giant-Man is getting better but still can’t catch the robot. Despite this, Hank Pym continues to push himself to do better, even though the Wasp wishes he would take a break to be more romantic.

Meanwhile, the Human Top is already preparing his next brazen crime. Racing to the pier, he uses a bundle of dynamite to blow up an abandoned scow rotting away in the harbor. While emergency crews race to the scene to put out the fires caused by the blast, the Human Top moves onto the next phase of his scheme. When the news reaches Giant-Man and the Wasp, Pym correctly deduces that this is a distraction for a bigger crime. Since the blast happened on the East River, Giant-Man tells the Wasp to follow him to the west end of the city to go on patrol. However, before the pair can go into action, the Giant-Man and Wasp fan club comes barging into their headquarters. Wasp is briefly distracted by the attention she is getting. Ultimately, Giant-Man has to shout at the top of his lungs to get them all to stop. The force from his voice bowls the entire fan club over long enough for Giant-Man to grab the Wasp and leave.

When they finally arrive in the city’s west end, Giant-Man spots the Human Top and races after him. At first, the Top manages to run circles around his enemy but ultimately, Giant-Man succeeds in grabbing him. However, holding the Human Top is easier said than done as he continues to spin until Giant-Man is forced to let him go. The chase is on again and the Top continues to humiliate Giant-Man by using the heroe’s massive size against him. Eventually, the police arrive on the scene and at the Wasp’s instruction, they open a fire hydrant. This blasts the Human Top with a torrent of water which trips him up briefly. Unfortunately, when the Wasp tries to grab him, the villain manages to get away. The Top manages to escape back to his apartment without being seen. Changing out of his costume, David Cannon then begins going over the plans for a federal building that he stole earlier that evening.

Giant-Man and the Wasp are next called into a top-level meeting with the authorities to talk about what the Human Top is planning next. Learning what the Top had stolen, Giant-Man comes up with a means of trapping him. Later, the FBI bugs the phone of two Russian spies who make arrangements to buy the plans from the Human Top. Once the deal is made, Giant-Man and the feds bust the spies. When the Human Top goes to the meet up he is ambushed by Giant-Man. This time, when the Human Top tries to flee he discovers that the entire block has been fenced off and there is no escaping this time. This time when Giant-Man catches the Human Top he can’t escape. After the police take the Top into custody, the Wasp asks how her partner managed to keep hold of the Top this time around. Shaking the Wasp’s hand, Giant-Man explains that he coated his gloves with glue.

Recurring Characters

Giant-Man, Wasp, Human Top

Topical References

  • Janet is depicted watching news of the fire on a black-and-white television set.

  • The cameras used by members of the Giant-Man and Wasp Fan Club are depicted as film cameras that operate using flashbulbs, the kind of which were common in the 1960s. Even if they were a bunch of douchy hipsters, not all of them could afford having vintage cameras. :P

  • This story also uses a few dated Cold War references: for example, the Russian spies are referred to as “Red Agents” in this story.

  • The spies are also depicted using rotary phones. These became obsolete in the 1980s.

  • The FBI is also depicted using reel-to-reel recorders in and 60s era bugging equipment. This has all since been replaced with digital bugging methods.

Somewhere Waits a Wobbow!

When she is not fighting crime, the Wasp spends her time visiting veterans’ hospitals and orphanages where she entertains the residents with strange tales. This time she is visiting some recovering soldiers. She tells them a story she calles “Somewhere Waits a Wobbow!”

In this story, which takes place in a distant future where the human race travels the universe, there lived a mercenary named Rack Morgan. Morgan would do anything for anyone if they met his price. He was also a reckless pilot and often cheated his competition by drugging them and stealing their gigs.

However, Rack Morgan would eventually get his comeuppance when a meteor shower forced him to land his rocket on an alien world that was said to be ruled by a dangerous race called the Wobbows. He is shocked to discover that the planet also has what appears to be massive chunks of gold. Circling the planet, Rack finds no trace of the Wobbows and decides that the deadly aliens were probably made up to keep people away from all the gold. Landing his ship, Rack then takes the largest chunk of gold he can carry and leaves the planet. While in deep space, Rack hears something moving around in the back of his ship and decides to check it out. He is horrified to see the chunk of gold suddenly change into a demonic-looking alien creature. This is one of the Wobbows that he was warned about. The alien creature explains that his race is one of shapechangers who assume the form of things to tantalize their enemies and act as bait. This alien creature knew that a greedy human could easily be drawn in by the sight of gold.[1]

The Wasp concludes her story by say that was the last anyone heard for Rack Morgan. With her story complete, the soldiers ask her to tell her again. Unfortunately, she is out of time and after taking a size-changing pill she heads for home, much to the soldier’s disappointment.

Recurring Characters

Wasp

Continuity Notes

  1. Despite being part of a made-up story, the Wobbows apparently do exist in the Marvel Universe proper as they have been seen again in Maximum Security: Dangerous Planet #1 and Nextwave #11.

Tales to Astonish #50

Tales to Astonish #50

Tales to Astonish #52

Tales to Astonish #52