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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Tales to Astonish #58

Tales to Astonish #58

The Coming of… Colossus!

Janet Van Dyne tries to convince Hank Pym to take her skiing before the season over. Unfortunately, Hank is more interested in devising a way to trigger his size-changing abilities by mental command. Resigning to the idea that they aren’t going on vacation, Janet asks Hank to make changes to her costume while he’s at it. Making the necessary adjustments to the cybernetic controls in his helmet, Hank tests out his abilities and they work a little too well, making him grow so big he ends up hitting his head on the ceiling. After alterations are complete on the Wasp’s costume, the pair are visited by Captain America. Cap tells them that the other Avengers are busy on personal matters and asks Giant-Man and the Wasp to investigate strange reports coming out of Africa. Area natives have reported a 30-foot tall creature that has appeared in the region. They have called the creature the Colossus, and it appears to be trapped on a peak so steep that it can’t climb down into the valley below. Giant-Man agrees to go and investigate, figuring this will also resolve the Wasp’s desire to go on a vacation.

Although Janet has no interest to visit Africa, the pair fly a jet to the region where they confirm that the Colossus is real. Since the creature is twice the size of Giant-Man’s maximum height, he wonders how much of a threat this creature will be. As they pass by, the Colossus grabs the jet and tosses it away from his peak, forcing the pair to eject. Parachuting into the valley, Giant-Man figures they can get up onto the peak at ant-size. However, before Janet can take one of her shrinking tablets, Hank reveals that the cybernetics in his mask can also make her shrink by mental command as well. They then scramble up the side of the steep peak, a job made easier thanks to a new grappling hook invention that Hank created.

Assuming his maximum height of twelve feet, Giant-Man attempts to battle the Colossus, but the thirty-foot tall alien is too powerful. With the Wasp distracting the Colossus with her stings, Giant-Man attempts to grow beyond his twelve-foot limit but is greatly weakened and disorientated by the process. Realizing it is going to take more than raw power to stop the Colossus, Giant-Man orders the Wasp to hide in his fist and fire a blast from her stinger at full power at the alien invader. This knocks the Colossus off his feet. When he witnesses Giant-Man shrink down to ant-size and disappear from sight, the Colossus assumes that this entire planet is home to a race of magicians and flees Earth in his spacecraft. As he leaves, the Colossus contacts his master on the planet Vega Superior and warns them not to invade the Earth due to the humans apparently having magical powers.

With the invader repelled, Giant-Man and the Wasp head for home. Their battle will not be forgotten as it was observed by the local tribes who celebrate Giant-Man’s victor by constructing a statue in honor of the hero on the very peak where he defeated the Colossus.

Recurring Characters

Giant-Man, Wasp, Captain America, Vegans

The Magician and the Maiden!

The Wasp is going over photos of the various foes she and Giant-Man have faced over their career and hopes that they won’t have to confront any of them any time soon.[1] That’s when she hears a radio report about how the Magician had just broken out of prison. This is followed by another about Benson’s Department store that is displaying a number of new fashions inspired by the Wasp. This news is more interesting to the Wasp, who puts all thought of the Magician out of her mind.[2]

Meanwhile, Hank Pym is on his way back to his lab when he hears the news about the Magician’s escape. Fearing that the villain might seek revenge against Janet, and unable to reach her in time, he has some flying ants bring a warning letter to her. When Jan receives the message, she figures that Hank is being a worry-wart and figures nothing will happen to her if she goes to Benson’s to see the fashion display.

Little does she know that this is all a trap set up by the Magician to capture her. Once he is certain the Wasp is in the store, the Magician locks the doors and singles her out in the crowd. When Jan tries shrinking down to wasp-size, the Magician puts on pair of “opto-ray” goggles that magnify his vision so he can see his tiny foe. He then covers her in a powder renders her unable to fly.

Quick thinking, Janet lures the Magician to a nearby escalator where his cape gets caught. Discovering that her antennae can control a toy robot. She commands it to tie the Magician up with some jump rope. She then unlocks the doors to the department store so the police can arrest the Magician. When she returns to Hank’s lab, he is happy to see that she made it safe and sound. Since Hank is showing her some rarely seen affection, Janet decides not to tell him how she handled the Magician on her own so she can take advantage of the situation.

Recurring Characters

Giant-Man, Wasp, the Magician

Continuity Notes

  1. The photographs include the following villains Ant-Man/Giant-Man and the Wasp have faced during their carers. Each villain appeared in various issues of Tales to Astonish.

    • Egghead, who first fought Ant-Man in #38.

    • The Black Knight whom Giant-Man and the Wasp battled in #52.

    • The Magician who the pair fought in issue #56.

    • The pair first fought the Human Top in issue #50.

    • Also present is a photo of the first foe they ever faced as a team the so-called Creature from Kosmos in issue #44.

    • Lastly, there is the Porcupine, who Ant-Man and the Wasp faced in issue #48.

  2. A callback to the Wasp fashion display is made in Marvels #2.

Topical References

  • Hank is unable to reach Janet because he is 40 miles away from the nearest telephone. This limitation would be ridiculous in the era of cell phones. One could assume that in a modern setting Hank is unable to call Janet because there is no cell signal in the area he is driving through.

Tales to Astonish #57

Tales to Astonish #57

Tales to Astonish #59

Tales to Astonish #59