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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Thing #32

Thing #32

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Returning to the Unlimited Class Wrestling Federation after a vacation in the pacific, the Thing's flight is in trouble when the plane cannot initiate its landing gear. Hearing the the pilot's announcement, Ben decides to do something about it. Ripping a hole into the cargo area, Ben then uses his strength to manually push out the landing gear allowing the plane to safely land. Although they are safely landed, Sharon thinks Ben is still pushing himself too hard, but he insists that he needs to get back to work and takes a cab back to his hotel room. There he finds no sign of his ward Vance but finds a stranger going through their belongings. Ben catches the man before he can escape the room and learns that he is a private investigator looking for Vance. Ben tells him that Vance is his manager and tells the man to scram, warning him against snooping around again. Ben soon realizes that the P.I. is just trying to find Vance for his parents, but since the boy is seventeen years old, the Thing figures he can make up his own mind. Plus, since Vance has stuck by him and helped track down Sharon, Ben couldn't just turn him over. Suddenly, Ben is struck by a strange dizzy spell and has to lay down in bed.

The following day in the Los Angeles Olympic Auditorium, the Thing is in a practice session against another wrestler named Speedo. As their practice spar ends, UCWF owner Ed Garner brings up a new wrestler named Manglin' Mahoney whom he just hired. Ben looks at the costumed "man" and sees right through the disguise, recognizing this new fighter as Vance Astro in a padded costume to make himself look older and more muscular than he really is. He suggests that the pair practice against each other. During the fight "Mahoney" reveals that he is really Vance, which Ben points out that he knew anyway. Vance explains that he put on this disguise to fool the private investigator that is still hanging around. Vance is able to hold his own against the Thing thanks to his telekinetic powers, but he gets the Thing angry in the process. When Ben threatens to hit Vance, the boy suddenly breaks down and stops fighting. Submitting to Ben in tears, he finally reveals why he ran away from home to begin with: his father has been beating him ever since he found out that he was a mutant. Ben apologizes for getting mad at the kid and declares the fight over. With his dizzy spells getting worse Ben decides to see the league doctor who can find nothing outwardly wrong with him.

Suddenly, Ben is alerted to the sound of gunshots and goes out to investigate where they are coming from. In the arena, he spots Vance trapped by the private eye who is firing a gun at the boy. The Thing walks towards the P.I. unflinching as the man fires an entire clip at the Thing. In a panic, the investigator tries to reload when Speedo jumps in and breaks his writs with a chop to the arm. Ben pushes Speedo aside, telling him that he is too powerful to rough up a normal human being. The private investigator also reveals that there was no danger as he was firing blanks and that he has only been trying to get Vance to return home to his parents. At hearing this, Vance tries to make a break for it. Ben decides that it is finally time for Vance to go home and face his parents. When both he and Speedo try to stop the boy, he rebuffs them with his telekinetic powers. When Ben grabs the boy again, they struggle until Vance's mother calls out to the boy to stop. It is a tear-filled reunion when Vance learns that his father has gone to counseling to deal with his anger problems. With this news, Vance agrees to return home to his parents.

Recurring Characters

Thing, Sharon Ventura, Vance Astrovik, Ed Garner, Norma Astrovik

Continuity Notes

  • Ben and Sharon mention how they were on a movie shoot. They were there in last issue as well as Secret Wars II #7.

  • Vance Astrovik has been traveling with Ben since Thing #27.

  • Ben's dizzy spells are a sign of another unstable mutation that begins to happen in Thing #35.

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