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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Thunderbolts #31

Thunderbolts #31

A More Perfect Union

Charcoal has been kidnapped by his former handlers, the Imperial Forces.[1] In order to find their missing teammate, the Thunderbolts have gone undercover to try and find one of the organization’s rallies. They hear about one just outside of Griggs, Oklahoma and after stashing their gear, head down to infiltrate the group.

Outside a closed down mineral mind, the Thunderbolts listen to a speech being given by one of the IF’s pitchmen who is speaking to the blue collar workers who have been struggling to make a living. With most of the industries shut down and jobs hard to come by, the locals are very interested in joining an organization where they don’t have to struggle and have everything provided to them. Their cover is almost blown when the townies don’t recognize any of the new comers. Clint fights back against them, making up a story about how they came from out of town after hearing about this opportunity and are in the same boat as everyone else.

This convinces everyone that the strangers are on the level. Soon the Imperial Forces ushers everyone into the mine where their secret processing center is located. There, everyone is divided up by gender for thorough examinations to determine what place they will have in this new monarchal society. Having just heard about Hawkeye’s getting caught making out with Moonstone, Atlas warns him to be careful of Karla as she can manipulate people very easily. Clint assures him that he knows what he is doing.[2] This also makes Erik feel guilty about keeping the fact that he knows that Man-Killer is laying low in town and hasn’t told his teammates yet.[3] Everyone is subjects to thorough physical examinations and while the Thunderbolts think they have the Imperial Forces fooled, their sophisticated equipment is able to detect both Moonstone and Jolt’s powers.[4]

This information is reported back to one of their leaders, William Taurey, who thanks them for the report. He takes this back to the rest of his group, the so-called Elite. He tells his associates Richmond Cholmondley and Thomas Gloucester to prepare Brute Force with a dossier on the findings but not to act on them for the time being as he wants to wait and see what these new superhumans will do first. Still he is wary of the idea of heroes meddling in his affairs, recalling back to when their organization attempted to set off Madbomb to drive the country mad, only to be thwarted by Captain America and the Faclon.[5] They were sent to prison for many years and have been struggling to rebuild in secret since their release. Soon, the Thunderbolts and the other recruits are ushered to a ship to be taken to another facility.

As the plane takes off, Citizen V hitches a ride. She learned about this gathering during her hunt for the Crimson Cowl. Reporting back to her superiors she admits that this isn’t what they were looking for, but something about this gathering has struck her as very wrong and she wants to find out what that is.[6]

Soon the craft lands in a remote part of the Rockies to a facility the Imperial Forces call Cornwallis Base. There, people are divided up in groups. However, the members of the Thunderbolts are singled out by the Elite’s Cheer Chadwick. She takes them on a personal tour of the facility where they see that this organization has set up re-education devices to reprogram people into loyal servants. They are then given military training so they can join the ranks of the Imperial Forces. For those who have the potential for mutation, they are taken down to the science labs for experimentation in the hope they can build an army of superhumans as well. However, the process of doing so is not always perfect, leaving many misshapen creatures that have been reduced to slave labor. All of this deeply upsets Jolt, who knows that this is the handiwork of Arnim Zola, the mad geneticist who experimented on her as well.[7]

Unaware why they are being given a personal tour, the Thunderbolts keep up their charade. Clint asks about Charcoal, claiming to have seen him in action before he escape. She takes them down to the lab where they have him contained and keep shattering his stone body, forcing him to painfully reform each time. That’s when the Thunderbolts drop their disguises. However, Cheer Chadwick was well aware of who they are and what they wanted and prepared for them. Opening a massive metal door she reveals the Elite’s private super-human army, Brute Force. The group includes the electrical Fizgig, ice based Hoarfrost, the reptillian Hoopsnake, the rock covered Fieldstone, the metal sheathed Ingot, globular Loblolly, feral Scarum, and the pyrotechnic Watchfire.

Elsewhere, Citizen V has sneaked into the facility and is looking around via the ventilation shafts. Looking out a vent she witnesses a horrifying experiment being conducted by Cheer’s father, the twisted scientist Hesperus Chadwick. Using a sonic device he tries to kill a room full of subjects with vibrations. While most are horrendously killed, some of the more sturdier subjects survive, prompting Hesperus to order them executed. Reporting his findings back to William Taurey, Chadwick is instructed to continue testing out the device until it kills 100% of the time. With no shortage of subjects to test it upon, Hesperus assures William that he’ll nail it down. Hearing how they are so callously treating human life horrifies Citizen V.

Back in the lab, the Thunderbolts clash with Brute Force. The battle is evenly matched until Jolt is able to free Charcoal from his prison. However, when things start tilting in the Thunderbolts’ favor, a massive stun cannon is used to take them all out. That’s when Taurey and the Chadwicks re-enter the room. Struggling to remain conscious, Hawkeye finally realizes why these guys sounded so familiar. He remembers Captain America telling stories about them back when they were called the Royalist Forces of America. Taurey confirms this but explains that they go by a brand new name now, the Secret Empire!

Recurring Characters

Thunderbolts (Hawkeye, Moonstone, Songbird, Atlas, Jolt, Carcoal), Citizen V, the Elite (William Taurey, Harcourt Vickers, Thomas Gloucester, Richmond Cholmondley, Cheer Chadwick, Hesperus Chadwick), Brute Force (Fieldstone, Fizgig, Hoarfrost, Hoopsnake, Ingot, Lobolly, Scarum, Witchfire)

Continuity Notes

  1. Charcoal's father was convinced into joining the Imperial Forces and had them experiment on his son, giving him his powers, as explained in Thunderbolts #19. Charlie left the group to join the Thunderbolts in issue #23. The Imperial Forces tracked him down and kidnapped him last issue.

  2. Songbird walked into Hawkeye and Moonstone making out in the training room last issue.

  3. Man-Killer was one of the few Masters of Evil who escaped after the Thunderbolts shut them down in Thunderbolts #25. She has been laying low as a bartender in town since issue #27. Josten will keep her secret until her cover is blown by Wonder Man in Thunderbolts #42.

  4. Here, one of the Imperial Force examiners states that Karla is in her mid 30s. However in Ms. Marvel (vol. 2) #38 she is identified as being only 33 years old. Per the Sliding Timescale that story takes place about two years after this one, making her 31 years of age at the time of this story. One could assume that the Imperial Forces member is bad at gauging someone’s age.

  5. This happened in Captain America #193-200. Per the Sliding Timescale, Taurey and his fellows went to prison fo r about 6 years. Not bad for an act of terrorism, sedition, and treason. Must have had some good lawyers.

  6. As we’ll learn in Thunderbolts #38, this new Citizen V is secretly Dallas Riordan who was given the mantle by the V-Battallion. She is hunting the Crimson Cowl who kidnapped and framed her for being the leader of the Masters of Evil in Thunderbolts #24-25. The Cowl’s true identity, that of Justine Hammer, will be revealed in issue #67.

  7. Arnim Zola kidnapped Hallie from the ruins of New York post-Onslaught and experimented upon her, giving her powers in the process. See Thunderbolts #1-4. She learned about Zola’s association with the Elite in issue #23.

Topical References

  • When getting their medical histories, Moonstone is asked if she has a history of cancer in her family or if she has ever had mumps, chicken pox, and rubella. Particularly in the cases of mumps and rubella, these questions should be considered topical thanks to eradication efforts via vaccines making these illnesses difficult to contract, particularly in the western hemisphere. Due to the Sliding Timescale, it will become increasingly impossible for Karla to have contracted any of these childhood illnesses because of these efforts, anti-vaxxer nonsense notwithstanding of course.

Thunderbolts #30

Thunderbolts #30

Thunderbolts #32

Thunderbolts #32