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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Untold Tales of Spider-Man #4

Untold Tales of Spider-Man #4

The Measure of a Man

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Spider-Man is battling a new group of super-powered individuals who call themselves the Spacemen, who are attempting to steal a safe. As the battle rages, it is being recorded by John Jameson. The wall-crawler strikes their leader Gantry and dodges laser blasts from Satellite. However, he is struck from behind by flyer known as Orbit. As he is recovering from the blow, Vacuum tries to suck the web-slinger into the void that comprises of his body. However, Spider-Man manages to snare Gantry with a web line and toss him in his place. With the tide of the battle changing, Gantry orders Satellite to bring down the roof in order to cover their escape. Spider-Man survives the assault, and Jameson is satisfied that he has filmed enough footage and has the helicopter take him back. Later, John pays a visit to his father, J. Jonah Jameson, at the Daily Bugle. There tells his father that he has come to examine Spider-Man as NASA is interested if his body could handle the rigors of space travel for a special mission. Jonah is furious that NASA would even consider such a thing, insisting that Spider-Man is a criminal. John reminds his father that there has not been any evidence to prove that despite what his editorials say. He wisely keeps quiet about the fact that on his last mission for NASA, he was rescued by Spider-Man.[1] When Jameson questions John's sense of pride, John tells his father that it's not a matter of pride, it's about finding the right person for the job. However, despite this, he doesn't know much about Spider-Man's personal life. He figures that Spider-Man must live a solitary life based on his independent and solitary nature. John also suspects that Spider-Man has a lot of friends. He also suspects that he is a good athlete, taking advantage of his amazing agility.

John couldn't be any more incorrect, as at that moment, Peter Parker is being seen out the door by his Aunt May. May is concerned that he forgot to wear his glasses, but Peter tells her that they were broken the other day.[2] He assures his Aunt that he doesn't need glasses anymore and heads off for school. On his way, Flash Thompson and his friends pull up in his car. When Flash offers Peter a ride, he gladly accepts. However, Thompson is only teasing and speeds off. Upset by this prank, Peter quickly leaps up into a nearby tree and contemplates filling Flash's tailpipe with webbing. However, no sooner does he have his web-shooters on, Peter decides against it, after all, fearing that he may compromise his double identity and fears what such a revelation might do to his Aunt's frail health. Back at the Daily Bugle, Jonah scoffs at John's psychological profile on the wall-crawler, saying he knows nothing about the masked vigilante. That's when Betty Brant comes in and tells him that she just took a call from reporter Frederick Foswell. He's reporting that the Spacemen are putting on a press conference at city hall. Jonah rushes himself and John down to city hall to hear their press conference.

There, the Spacemen's leader explains to the gathered audience that they were part of a secret government task force. They were sent into space on a mission and were bombarded with cosmic rays like the Fantastic Four, giving them their amazing powers.[3] He then explains that their first order of business is to track down the vigilante known as Spider-Man and bring him to justice. J. Jonah Jameson completely buys this explanation, however, John isn't sure what government agency the Spacemen could have been employed by, but knows for sure that it wasn't NASA. Still, Jonah rolls with it and gives the Spacemen the full backing of the Daily Bugle. Hearing this on the evening news upsets Peter Parker so much that it gives him a headache. Over the next few days, Spider-Man investigates a series of robberies leading to clashes with the Spacemen. With each battle, the Daily Bugle publishes stories in favor of the Spacemen. During the most recent battle, an angry mob begins to form, looking for the wall-crawler's blood, forcing the wall-crawler to flee. As the hero swings away and the crowd starts asking the Spacemen for autographs, Gantry gloats over how everything is going according to plan. Later that evening, Peter goes to the Daily Bugle to sell his photos. Jonah is delighted by them, especially one where an old woman is striking the wall-crawler. He is in such a happy mood that he agrees to let Betty have Friday night off so she and Peter can go out on a date. As they are talking, John realizes that he omitted Peter Parker from the list of people he wanted to question about Spider-Man and decides to speak with the youth. When Peter leaves, Jonah asks his son if he's given up on the idea of recruiting Spider-Man in NASA. John isn't ready to write off the wall-crawler yet, but Jameson tells his son that he plans to change that.

Sure enough, J. Jonah Jameson puts on a ticker tape parade for the Spacemen in order to boost their profile. During the parade, Captain George Stacy sends his daughter off with her friend Harry Osborn so he can talk to Jonah. He's upset that Jonah would manipulate people by putting on this parade, especially since Spider-Man has not been proven to be responsible for any crimes. John is also unimpressed with this display, but Jonah is more concerned about where Peter Parker is, hoping the boy is getting good pictures of this event. That's when Spider-Man crashes the parade, accusing the Spacemen of being crooks. He explains that he uncovered that Spaceman was responsible for the string of robberies and was able to find them by using a device that tracked their radio signals they use to communicate with each other. Gantry denies these allegations and orders his teammates to attack the web-slinger. With Vacuum surrounding Spider-Man, sucking out all the air. Orbit then uses her power to make the wall-crawler fly out of control. However, Spider-Man manages to snag a web-line onto Satellite and spin him out of control. He then uses his momentum to slam into Gantry and Orbit, forcing them all out of Vacuum's mass. They all crash into the Spacemen's float breaking it open and revealing all the money that the Spacemen has stolen.

With their ruse exposed, the Spacemen are quickly and the public realizes that they had been manipulated by the Spacemen. This revelation also greatly angers J. Jonah Jameson, as he has once again been humiliated by the wall-crawler. Later, John meets with his father to tell him that NASA has decided to scrap plans because they figured that Spider-Man's enhanced abilities prevent them from learning how space travel will affect normal humans. However, Jonah isn't listening as he is still fuming over Spider-Man's interference. As John leaves the office, Jonah mutters to himself about how he doesn't believe that Spider-Man is as heroic as he seems and vows to prove that he is a criminal.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, John Jameson, J. Jonah Jameson, Aunt May, Flash Thompson, Liz Allan, Jason Ionello, Tiny McKeever, Sally Avril, Betty Brant, Phil Sheldon, Ben Urich, Harry Osborn, Gwen Stacy, Norman Osborn, George Stacy

Continuity Notes

  1. Spider-Man saved John Jameson's life in Amazing Spider-Man #1.

  2. Peter's glasses were broken by Flash Thompson in Amazing Spider-Man #8.

  3. The Fantastic Four got their powers from cosmic ray bombardment, as seen in Fantastic Four #1.

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