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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

USA Comics #11

USA Comics #11

The Washington Murder-go-Round!

Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes are in Washington, D.C. where they are assigned with delivering a message to the Pentagon. Inside the Pentagon, the top brass are debating on if they should trust General Yaszlo, the ruler of Bulrumnian, since they do not have much information in which to verify his identity. However, one of the commanding officers is confident that Major Salter will be able to confirm the identity of General Yaszio.

In the hallways, Steve and Bucky hear someone scream for help. They come across a dead body just as their killer flees the scene. While Bucky follows after them, Steve checks and discovers that they dead man had been robbed and that his killer left a button behind. Following the killer into the next room they find Major Salter meeting with General Yaszio. Salter chastises the two grunts for barging into the room. They leave, per orders, but Steve can’t help but notice that Yaszlo is missing a button on his suit. Soon Yaszlo is brought to the commanding officers where he thanks them for the United States contributing to the aid of his nation in exchange for being allowed to use Bulrumnia as a staging ground to launch attacks on the Nazis in Europe.

However as soon as the brass leaves both Yaszlo and Salter drop all pretenses, as it turns out they are both Nazi spies that are seeking to get their hands on the invasion plans in order to thwart the American war effort. Although the military is unaware of this deception, Steve Rogers has become very suspicious. Later, as Captain America, Steve and Bucky sneak onto the grounds of the Bulrumnian Embassy. There they fight their way through the guards and attack dogs but are too late to stop Yaszlo and his men from stealing the plans and fleeing in a plane with them. Although their foes are escaping, Captain America stops to get a prisoner of Yaszlo to a hospital before getting a plane to follow after them. Although flying an unarmed craft, Captain America and Bucky manage to fly close enough to hop on board and defeat Yaszlo and his minions, including the traitor Major Salter.

Once back on land they pay a visit to Yaszlo’s prisoner to inform him that they foiled the scheme of the Nazi spy. As it turns out, this is the real Major Salter, whose cousin from Germany — who bares a similar appearance to Salter — took his place to try and facilitate this scheme. With their mission over, Steve Rogers and Bucky return to camp where Steve is thankful to know that no real American would ever betray his country.

Recurring Characters

Captain America, Bucky

The Commandos Strike!

The Destroyer visits a British spy at a coastal town in Holland. However, their meeting is cut short when they are warned that some Nazis are coming to search the house. The Destroyer slips away and decides to keep an eye on Tom’s home as the Nazis search it. The Destroy then tries to steal their car, but when they find no trace of the masked hero inside the house they try to stop him. Unable to secure the vehicle, the Destroyer manages to make his escape through the sewers.

He uses the sewer tunnels to get to the coast where he meets with a group of British commandos who have come to shore on a mission to take out a German radio transmitter in order to cut off their propaganda broadcasts. Although they succeed in demolishing the facility, the British soldiers are pinned down by Nazi forces. Stealing a Nazi motorcycle, the Destroyer races back to shore where he alerts the British ship that there is trouble and leads a British tank back to the scene of the battle where they turn the tide. With no losses on the British side, the Destroyer then escorts them back to the beach to make their escape. When the commanding officer asks the Destroyer to join them, the masked hero declines, jokingly telling them that he has to put cyanide in Hitler’s soup first.

Recurring Characters

Destroyer

Continuity Notes

  • As per Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe A-Z #2, the appearance of the Destroyer here is attributed to Kevin Marlow.

Jap Buster Johnson

Below deck aboard an American aircraft carrier, Jap Buster Johnson welcomes a new pilot named Ray and after learning he has never engaged Japanese fighters in the skies yet gives the novice pilot on how to avoid getting shot down. Soon they take to the air where they engage with enemy planes. Seeing that Ray is about to get into trouble and sacrifices his own plane by crashing into a Japanese fighter. Parachuting at the last minute, Johnson lands in the ocean and remains afloat thanks to his inflatable rafts.

While awaiting rescue, Johnson falls asleep at nightfall but wakes up when his raft bumps into the side of a battleship. Before he can call out for help he discovers that this is actually a Japanese ship that is meeting with enemy submarines in need of refuelling. Sneaking aboard the Japanese ship, Johnson finds some much needed supplies and weapons to survive being lost at sea on enemy waters. However, when lowering these supplies to his raft in a life boat, a squeaky pulley gives away his position and he is forced to run from enemy troops.

His flight takes him into the engine room where he uses an axe to cut through an oil line filling the room with oil causing a fire. Covered in oil himself, Johnson is mistaken for one of the crew and is ordered by the captain to help put out the fire. Instead, Johnson sneaks into the captain’s quarters and steals a code book that reveals the location of the secret refuelling sites for Japanese subs and starts another fire. Johnson then flees the ship and watches with glee as the Japanese sailors abandon their burning ship. He is eventually found by an American ship where he quickly turns over the code book and assists his fellow fighter pilots in attacking the secret refuelling sites.

Recurring Characters

Jap Buster Johnson

Jitterbug Jitters

The Benny Torsey Band has come to the base to put on a show for the troops. The show also promises to feature Ken Hardin, a renown trumpet player. This excites a soldier nicknamed Jitterbug who is a huge fan of Hardin. Stuck on KP dity, Jitterbug asks Sargent Dix if he can be let off duty to see the show. Although Dix sympathizes with Jitterbug, he tells the soldier to follow through on his duty, certain that Jitterbug can complete his orders before showtime.

As it turns out, Ken Hardin had become sick at the last minute and replaced by another trumpet player. This trumpeter is actually a Nazi spy and has rigged a silenced pistol within one of the stage lights. During their performance, the heat from the spotlight would cause the gun to go off, shooting the the general on base. This plan goes off without a hitch with the added bonus of Jitterbug being blamed for the shooting when he loudly points out that the trumpet player is not Hardin. Although Jitterbug is arrested, Sergeant Dix believes that Jitterbug is innocent and begins investigating the scene of the crime.

Sure enough he finds the gun hidden in the spotlight and learns that the trumpet player has fled the scene. Sergeant Dix chases after the trumpet player and takes down the whole spy operation helping to clear Jitterbug’s name.

Recurring Characters

Sergeant Dix

Let’s Play Detective

Detective Mike Trapp investigates the kidnapping of Junior Jones. Investigating the clues at the scene of the crime, he is able to find the cabin where the boy is being kept and killing the kidnapper.

Recurring Characters

Detective Mike Trapp, Officer Ryan

Five Million Dollar Robbery

The President of the National Bank is upset that the details of a five million dollar gold shipment has been leaked into the newspaper. The chief of police insists that the president allow the police to escort the delivery. Unfortunately, the bank president refuses to do so as it would reflect badly on the reputation of the bank, confident that his security — namely keeping the delivery route a secret and having one of his employees verify the identity of the drivers. The chief of police has another idea when he recognizes the Whizzer conducting business at the bank in his civilian identity. The hero agrees to secretly keep an eye on the gold delivery to make sure it doesn’t fall prey to thieves.

That day when the deliver truck drivers begin their route they have to pull over when they realize their morning coffees had been drugged. When thieves attempt to replace the drivers the Whizzer tries to stop them. In the ensuing battle, the Whizzer is knocked into a nearby pit. The cooks then park a delivery truck over top the pit, trapping the Whizzer below. When the crooks arrive at the bank, the bank manager doesn’t recognize him but he soon passes out after being drugged as well. This allows the thieves and their inside man to load the gold into the truck.

Meanwhile, the Whizzer manages to free himself by ripping off a loose floorboard on the bottom of the truck pinning him underneath. He then races all over the city and manages to catch up to the delivery truck as it tries to flee across the bridge to Canada. The Whizzer knocks the truck off the bridge into the lake below and rounds up the thieves. With the thieves caught, the speedster also rounds up their inside man, foiling their scheme once and for all.

Recurring Characters

Whizzer

Continuity Notes

  • The Whizzer’s civilian identity is identified as Jack Robinson here instead of his real name of Robert Frank. An explanation is provided in Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe: Golden Age 2004. In the Whizzer entry, it is explained that Robert Frank developed the identity of Jack Robinson as a “public face” for the Whizzer.

USA Comics #10

USA Comics #10

USA Comics #12

USA Comics #12