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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

War Machine #5

War Machine #5

The Wages of Death!

In Yokohama, Japan, mercenary Saint Van Sant — aka Deathtoll — is on a job to eliminate members of the Yakuza. After mowing down most of them he is ambushed by two more and seemingly killed in a hail of bullets. Suddenly, Deathtoll’s body briefly bursts into flames as he is revived. The Yakuza are so shocked by the merc’s sudden resurrection that they are easily killed off as well.

Returning to his hotel room in Osaka, Deathtoll then contacts his employer to tell them that the job is done.[1][2] He is then offered a new job by his handler who is unhappy that War Machine interfered with the political situation in Imaya.[2] They are willing to pay big money for Deathtoll to eliminate the hero. Checking his watch and seeing that he has 14 lives stored up, Deathtoll decides to take the job since he’s been looking forward to just such a challenge.

Meanwhile, Jim Rhodes has arrived at the offices of WorldWatch to find his new colleagues Ranald Jeffries and Rebecca Bergier being swarmed by members of the media. They want answers regarding their former director, Vincent Cetewayo, and his involvement in the overthrow of Imaya’s dictator Eda Arul. They tell the press that their organization is in no way affiliated with War Machine. That’s when Jim cuts through to the front of the gathered press and announces that he is the new director of WorldWatch and they will be holding a press conference soon to answer all their questions. Both Ranald and Rebecca are relieved that Jim has agreed to join up as their director. Inside, Jim is introduced to the rest of the staff which includes office manager Paula Lin and their IT guy, Travis Berkely. They then go into Vincent’s old office to have a private meeting. Ranald expresses his concerns about the Imaya situation, telling Jim that WorldWatch is supposed to remain as neutral as possible while dealing with human rights investigations. Jim understands that this recent controversy is going to have a negative impact on their image but still wants to see out Vincent’s dream. They all agree to continue WorldWatch and that if the organization is going to go down, it will go out swinging.

After his meeting with WorldWatch, Jim pays a visit to his girlfriend Rae LaCoste, who has not been returning his calls since he got back from Imaya. When she invites him in she reveals that she is not happy with him. She has known for some time that he is secretly War Machine and is furious that he ran off to another country and got involved in their war without telling her.[3] While she understands his need for a secret identity she tells him not to keep her in the dark about what he’s doing so she isn’t left wondering what happened to him if something should go wrong. Jim agrees and promises to keep her in the loop from now on. He then tells her that he is about to address the assembly at the United Nations as War Machine, but isn’t sure what he is going to say or how it is going to go, but he knows the delegation won’t like what he has to say.

The following morning, War Machine appears before the United Nations where he is denounced for his unilateral decision to involve himself in the political situation in Imaya. When given the chance to speak, War Machine points out that despite the objections of various member nations, he points that Cimbuka — the new leader of Imaya — pulled their delegate in protest of their voting against him. He also calls out the delegation for their turning a blind eye to the atrocities that were being committed in Imaya. One delegate expresses the UN’s concerns about super-human intervention in delicate political situations, pointing to the Avengers and X-Men’s recent actions in Genosha.[4] War Machine counters by saying he is no longer affiliated with the Avengers or any related group.[5] He tells the UN that he now only represents the oppressed. He then puts the UN on notice that if they fail to respond to humanitarian problems in the future he’ll deal with it himself.

That’s when Deathtoll comes crashing in with guns blazing, unconcerned who gets hit in the crossfire. Seeking to avoid civilian casualties, War Machine kicks on his jet boots and carries the mercenary outside. War Machine quickly overpowers Deathtoll and decides to carry him off to the authorities. Needing to get away, Deathtoll rips free of his jacket to get out of War Machine’s grasp and falls into the East River below. War Machine dives in after him but Deathtoll puts up a fight, causing the air feed in Jim’s armor to break. To avoid drowning, War Machine has no choice but to snap Deathtoll’s neck, killing him. War Machine then swims himself and Deathtoll’s lifeless body to the surface. Worried what the authorities might think of things, War Machine decides to take off before they arrive. As he does, he doesn’t see Deathtoll’s body briefly light on fire as he resurrects himself. Once back to life, the villain kills a rat that was foolish enough to come up and try to snack on him.

The next morning, Jim Rhodes is already hard at work on WorldWatch’s next case when everyone gets in that day. Ranald Jeffries comes into Jim’s office to discuss the War Machine situation, and Jim confirms that they officially have no comment on the matter. He then turns Ranald’s attention to their next investigation: the discovery of mass graves in Catanero. They were uncovered by a Peace Corps team the previous month but the Catanerian government refuses to investigate. Jim intends to send a team into the country in order to find out why.

In the next office, Rebecca Bergier is hard at work when she gets a phone call from Trace Miller, the executive producer of a tabloid news program called Top Story. Miller explains that he has unearthed some information on her and says unless she agrees to an interview, he will report what they already know.[6]

Meanwhile, Deathtoll has returned to his hotel room to check in with his employer. They aren’t happy that he failed to eliminate War Machine but believes that he deserves a second chance. They also have an additional target for him to take out: Jim Rhodes. Unaware that Rhodes and War Machine are the same person, Deathtoll assures his boss that this will be an easy task to complete.

The following day, Jim Rhodes is leaving on a private jet to Catanero along with his new employee former SHIELD agent Shiva Joseph. Little do they know that they are being observed from the airport terminal by Deathtoll. Seeing Rhodes through his magnified glasses, Deathtoll writes Jim off as just another soft diplomat and an easy kill.

Recurring Characters

War Machine, Deathtoll, WorldWatch (Rebecca Bergier, Ranald Jeffries, Sheva Joseph, Paula Lin, Travis Berkley), Rae LaCoste, Trace Miller, Leviticus, Yakuza

Continuity Notes

  1. The man who has hired Deathtoll goes unnamed in this issue. We learn that his name is Leviticus next issue. As of this writing in November 2022, who he is and what his organization is trying to accomplish remains unexplained.

  2. Deathtoll is wearing a shirt that reads “I shot a president in Dallas. Just to watch him die.” This is a play on the lyrics from the Johnny Cash song “Folsom Prison Blues”, written in 1953. I don’t know if this is supposed to suggest that Deathtoll was involved in the JFK assassination or not or if this is just another attempt at the writers making him be edgy. The JFK assassination in the Marvel Universe is one steeped with conflicting information and accounts, kind of like the real world (and bullshit) conspiracy theories. These accounts are:

    • Marvel: The Lost Generation #4: In this story, it is suggested that there was only one shooter: Lee Harvey Oswald, the man who is historically identified as JFK’s assassin.

    • Incredible Hulk (vol. 2) #18: Features a character named General Ryker who claimed to have been a second shooter in Dallas on that November day in 1963. This statement, however, has since become a topical reference.

    • Wolverine (vol. 2) #49: Features a flashback from around that time where Sabretooth hints that he may have been involved in the assassination in some way.

    • Moon Knight: High Strangers #2: Has a plot involving CIA mind control where it is suggested that Oswald and his killer, Jack Ruby, were mind controlled by the government agency.

  3. War Machine assisted in the liberation of Imaya in War Machine #1-4.

  4. Rae states that she figured out Jim’s secret identity in Iron Man #289 during his fight with the Living Laser.

  5. At the time of this story, the Avengers and the X-Men were recently involved in a civil war on the island nation of Genosha between its resident Mutates and the oppressive human government. See Avengers #368-369, X-Men (vol. 2) #26, Avengers West Coast #101, and Uncanny X-Men #307.

  6. War Machine was a member of the Avengers West Coast at the time of the Genosha incident, having join the group just prior in Avengers West Coast #94. He quit the Avengers when it was decided that the western branch was to be dissolve in Avengers West Coast #102. He also makes a point of saying that he is not a member of Force Works. This group was formed by former members of the AWC in Force Works #1. The reason why War Machine isn’t part of the group is because it was formed by Iron Man, whom Jim has had a falling out with since Iron Man #289.

  7. In War Machine #11 we learn that the dirt that Trace Miller has on Rebecca is that she is secretly a lesbian. Which by today’s standard should be considered a topical reference, but we’ll get into that in my entry for issue #11.

Topical References

  • After killing members of the Yakuza, Deathtoll sings part of the song “Hope That I Get Old Before I Die” by They Might Be Giants, from their 1986 self-titled album. Since his whole thing is being able to resurrect himself after death, this song is contextual to Deathtoll’s whole thing and doesn’t necessarily make it a topical reference. It could be slotted with a more contemporary song if you wanted, I guess.

  • The televisions in this story are all depicted as CRT models. This should be considered topical as this is an obsolete technology.

  • One of the reporters trying to get a statement from WorldWatch is from CNN and another from NBC News. These should be considered topical as they are real life news networks.

  • When commenting on Jim’s activities as War Machine, Rae compares him to actor Arnold Schwarzenegger. At the time of this story, the actor was best known for his roles in action films such as The Predator, The Terminator, and Commando. This should be considered a topical reference as Schwarzenegger is (as of this writing in 2022) in his late 70s and no longer stars in action roles. A more contemporary action star could be used in his place when making this comparison.

War Machine #4

War Machine #4

War Machine #6

War Machine #6