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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Web of Spider-Man #34

Web of Spider-Man #34

Fourth and Eternity

It's a beautiful Saturday afternoon on New York City's Lower East Side. Spider-Man is watching a group of kids play football in an alley. He is surprised to see kids in this troubled neighborhood playing a game instead of committing petty crimes. During the game, a kid nicknamed Gerbil catches the ball and makes a run for the goal line. However, a much larger boy named Truck shoves the boy to the ground, twisting his ankle. Thinking he can't play for the rest of the game, Gerbil suggests the opposing team to have one of their players sit out as well, to keep the game fare. Unfortunately, Truck insists that Gerbil's team forfeit. Without Gerbil on their team, the other boys fear that there is no way they can win.

At that moment, on Earth's moon, two aliens name A'Sai and Grunz have arrived outside of the Watcher's citadel. Habitual gamblers, A'Sai has bet that his cloaking device will allow him to infiltrate the Watcher's lair before the alien can detect him. Inside, Uatu monitors activities on Earth, when suddenly he has become he becomes aware of another presence but he cannot detect where it is. Fearing that it is a threat, Uatu braces himself for an attack. Sure enough, A'Sai comes bursting through the wall and uses his hand blaster to incapacitate the Watcher. With Uatu down, A'Sai prepares to blow the Watcher's head off. While back on Earth, Spider-Man interrupts the debate on the football game and offers to fill in for Gerbil. Truck says that the wall-crawler can only play if he agrees to the following handicaps: no webs, no jumping, he has to count to five before rushing, no super-strength, the kids can down him by touching, and lastly, he has to have one hand tied behind his back. Spider-Man agrees to these conditions and soon the game is back on. Even with the addition of Spider-Man on the team, the smaller children can't seem to get a leg up on Truck and his team.

Meanwhile, back on the moon, Grunz is impressed that A'Sai has managed to get the drop on Uatu and pays out the bet. A'Sai explains that he managed to do it with his weapon that he salvaged from the ruins of Galactus' Worldship. He also goes on to say it is powerful enough to obliterate anything in his way. When Grunz begins imagining what he would do with this weapon, A'Sai is inspired and decides to use the weapon to acquire even more wealth, starting with the treasures that are hidden within the Watcher's citadel. He demands that Uatu reveal the location of his weapons, but the Watcher refuses even at the threat of being destroyed. He explains that if A'Sai killed him, he will never be able to make these weapons work as the Watchers have created safeguards to prevent their misuse. A'Sai then offers to make a wager with the Watcher. If Uatu wins, he will give him the weapon he acquired from Galactus' ship, but if Uatu loses, he agrees to give him the weapons and teach him how to use them. A'Sai warns the Watcher that if he does lose, the Watcher will be killed. Uatu agrees to the wager and knowing that a Watcher's word is their bond, he releases Uatu when he promises not to do anything in retaliation.

Using his monitoring equipment, the Watcher shows him various events that are going on in the universe on which they can wager the results. A'Sai is interested in the image of the football game on Earth that Spider-Man is participating in. Although A'Sai doesn't understand the Watcher's interest of the weaklings on Earth, he decides to wager on the outcome of the game, picking Truck's team for the win. At that moment, the game is going into the fourth quarter, and the kids on Spider-Man's team are getting tired and beginning to doubt their ability to win. On the moon, A'Sai gloats over his victory, but Uatu advises him that the game is not over yet. In the meantime, A'Sai scans the Watcher's computer to learn the full potential of his new weapon and is impressed. He begins to consider bigger plans, such as universal conquest. Back on Earth, Spider-Man finally manages to score a touchdown. The kids on his team cheer him on, and he reminds that the game isn't over yet and that they can win it if they have the guts to do so. This inspires the kids to give it all, although A'Sai figures it is impossible because the game is 56-to-7 for his team, however, the Watcher once again reminds him that the game is still on.

As the game goes on, Spider-Man and his team begin closing the point gap. Watching from the sidelines is Gerbil, who wishes he could be playing this once in a lifetime game. With a minute of gameplay left and the possibility for Spider-Man's team winning the match begins to become a real possibility. Not wanting to lose the bet and knowing the device on his hand can allow him to take control of beings, A'Sai decides to cheat in order to win. He takes control of Truck and makes him tackle one of the kids just before he can score a final touchdown. This boy has injured once again imbalance the game. Truck tells the other team that they need to forfeit. However, that's when Gerbal gets up from the benches and says he'll play again, even with a sore knee. At first, Spider-Man doesn't think it's a good idea, but suddenly changes his mind, as he feels like the outcome of this game is important. Spider-Man kicks the ball and it is caught by Truck. Charging at his opponent, Spider-Man is surprised how powerful Truck is all of a sudden. However, he manages to get Truck to fumble the ball. This time, during scrimmage Spider-Man, manages to toss the ball to Gerbil. With seconds left in the game, the boy manages to tackle past Truck and score a game winning touch down.

Shocked that he lost his bet, A'Sai attempts to use his weapon against the Watcher before he can take it away, but it is already gone. Not only that, but Uatu has also managed to free himself. The Watcher is furious and decides to punish A'Sai for trying to welch on their bet and uses his powers to teleport A'Sai away. Moments later in Las Vegas, at a poker table, the dealer accidentally deals the joker card. He apologizes as it is his first day and he is nervous. However, the man at the table finds the joker card impressive. This is because the card has the image of A'Sai upon it.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Watcher

Continuity Notes

  • Galactus was forced to consume his Worldship in Marvel Super Heroes Secret Wars #11.

Web of Spider-Man #33

Web of Spider-Man #33

Web of Spider-Man #35

Web of Spider-Man #35