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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Web of Spider-Man #73

Web of Spider-Man #73

Head Quest

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Peter Parker and his wife Mary Jane, and her cousin Kristy are invited along with Aunt May and her new boyfriend, Willie Lumpkin to to attend the opening of an art exhibit.[1] On the cab ride there, everyone is being entertained by Willie Lumpkin's ability to wiggle his ears. Although Peter is having a good time, his stomach is upset after eating Willie's lasagna for supper. Soon they arrive at the art gallery in Greenwich Village. There they discover that the exhibit is that of Alicia Masters, a long time associate of the Fantastic Four, who Willie had gotten to know during his stint as their mailman.[2] Willie invites everyone to have a look around. When Mary Jane swoons over Alicia's husband the Human Torch, Peter brushes him off as not such a big deal.[3] Everyone is even more star-struck when Namor the Sub-Mariner arrives with his date Carrie Alexander.[4] Namor's presence even gives pause to the gallery's celebrity guests.[5] Going to get refreshments, Peter bumps into Johnny Storm, the Human Torch, and the pair exchange insults about the pair riding on the coattails of their respective spouses.[6]

Outside of the art gallery, the Headmen wait inside their van waiting to see if Spider-Man will arrive on the scene. The disembodied head of Chondu the Mystic is impatient to get started, not wanting to be subject to one of Arthur Nagan's insane schemes.[7] This time, Chondu wants to obtain Spider-Man's body for himself, in the hopes of getting a powerful and youthful body. Jerold Morgan uses a bio-scanner to zero in on Spider-Man's location. Pinpointing the location at the nearby art gallery they drive off. They pass by a young artist named Peter Nicholas, who is having trouble finding the location of the gallery himself.[8] Back inside the gallery, Peter Parker is still not feeling well. When Willie goes to introduce his friends to Johnny Storm and Alicia Masters, Peter excuses himself to go to the washroom. However, before he can get there, his spider-sense begins to go off. He manages to push Mary Jane out of the way as one of the show windows of the gallery explodes inward. In order to protect the other patrons, the Torch uses his flame powers to incinerate the glass. As Peter and Johnny begin ushering people to safety, Arthur Nagan leaps into the room and demands that the Human Torch turns over Spider-Man.

Signaling Mary Jane to get May and the others to safety, Peter slips away into the ventilation shafts so he can change into Spider-Man. While back in the gallery, Nagan keeps the Human Torch at bay by taking a hostage. The hero still tries to stop Nagan, but is attacked from behind by Ruby Thursday who enters the room carrying the head of Chondu. Not far behind here is Jerry Morgan, rounding up the entire Headmen. That's when Spider-Man comes swinging in and ambushes the Headmen. While the others are busy trying to subdue the wall-crawler, Jerry Morgan tries to shoot the hero with a tranquilizer gun. However, before he can pull the trigger, the Human Torch blasts the gun out of his hands. While Spider-Man and the Torch are busy containing Nagan and Morgan, they are too busy trading quips to see Ruby Thursday fire a number of plasma darts from her synthetic head. The pair dodge the bolts, and when Nagan tries to attack Alicia, Spider-Man swings in to rescue her. She recognizes his voice as that of Peter Parker, and in order to keep his identity a secret, Peter ushers Alicia toward Mary Jane so his wife can get the Masters woman to safety. Spider-Man's attempt to get Alicia to safety is seen by the Headmen and the Human Torch. The Torch thinks that the wall-crawler is grandstanding for Johnny's wife and does the same thing with Mary Jane.

It's then that Peter Nicholas arrives at the gallery. Seeing the battle that is raging, he wishes there was something he could do, but does not know what. As the battle between the two costumed heroes and the Headmen rage on, Nicholas spots Kristy Watson in trouble. Spider-Man tells Peter to get her to safety. Hearing Kristy's name, Nicholas mistakes it for "Kitty" and is briefly confused.[9] Ultimately, the battle turns when Spider-Man grabs Arthur Nagan and tosses him into his teammates. With the Headmen bowled over, Spider-Man webs them up. With the Human Torch taking control of the situation, Spider-Man takes the opportunity to leave in order to change back into Peter Parker. In the aftermath of the battle, Peter Nicholas has vanished, but not before Kristy has developed a crush. As the authorities arrive on the scene, Peter has finished changing and makes a rush to the washroom to finally deal with the food poisoning he had been struggling with the entire night.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Mary Jane Watson, Aunt May, Human Torch, Headmen (Arthur Nagan, Jerald Morgan, Chondu the Mystic, Ruby Thursday), Kristy Watson, “Alicia Masters”, Willile Lumpkin, Sub-Mariner, Carrie Alexander

Continuity Notes

  1. Peter and Mary Jane are referred to as husband and wife here. However, years later, their marriage is erased from existence by the demon Mephisto in Amazing Spider-Man #545. As such, they should be considered a common-law couple as opposed to husband and wife.

  2. This woman is not actually Alicia Masters, she is really a Skrull spy named Lyja, as revealed in Fantastic Four #357. Lyja took Alicia's place back in Fantastic Four #265. Willie's tenure as the Fantastic Four's mailman since Fantastic Four #11. Recently, he was transferred to delivering mail in Queens, as seen in Amazing Spider-Man #341 which is also when he started courting May Parker. He will return to his usual beat in Marvel Knights: Four #3.

  3. Johnny thought he had married Alicia Masters in Fantastic Four #300, however, when the real Alicia Masters was rescued in Fantastic Four #358, the pair quickly had their marriage ended.

  4. Willie Lumpkin thinks about how Namor is "ten years older" than he is. Which is an impossibility given the nature of the Sliding Timescale of Earth-616, as Willie has a normal lifespan. This should be considered a topical reference. One could assume that Willie is comparing Namor's age to that of an elderly relative instead.

  5. Among the people depicted is artist Roy Lichtenstein. His, and the appearances and mentions of other real-life people in this story should be considered topical references per the Sliding Timescale of Earth-616. Particularly in the case of Lichtenstein, who died in 1997. Namor mentioned that he once employed Richard Gere at his Hollywood studio. Although the Gere mention is another topical reference, Namor had indeed run his own studio, as seen in Fantastic Four #9

  6. At the time of this story, the Torch is unaware that Peter Parker and Spider-Man are the same people, a fact that was not revealed to the Torch until Spider-Man Human Torch #5.

  7. Chondu is specifically referring to the Headmen's latest attempt to get him a new body by transplanting his head onto the body of She-Hulk in Sensational She-Hulk #3.

  8. "Peter Nicholas" is actually the X-Man known as Colossus. However, he does not remember who he is after being given a new life after passing through the Siege Perilous in Uncanny X-Men #251.

  9. "Kitty", is a reference to Kitty Pryde one of Colossus' teammates in the X-Men.

Web of Spider-Man #72

Web of Spider-Man #72

Web of Spider-Man #74

Web of Spider-Man #74