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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Web of Spider-Man (vol. 2) #11

Web of Spider-Man (vol. 2) #11

The Ex-Terminators Part One

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When she received a text asking to meet at their usual spot, the Black Cat is curious to know what Spider-Man could want after their recent falling out.[1] However, the Cat is not amused to learn that it’s Mary Jane waiting for her instead of Spider-Man. The Black Cat decides to criticize Mary Jane’s show, “Sewn Up” and decides to leave without finding out what Mary Jane wants.[2] She is uninterested in knowing who else Spider-Man is seeing. At that moment, her bad luck powers cause one of Mary Jane’s high heels to snap causing her to fall over the side of the building. The Cat grabs Mary Jane’s scarf. That’s when Mary Jane tells her that Spider-Man is missing and needs her help to find him. The Cat refuses to help unless Mary Jane is paying and the pair make a deal.[3] As Mary Jane gets money out from a bank machine she watches as the Cat beats on some men hitting on her and remember how jealous Felicia was when she and Peter first got together, and all her talk about not being monogamous is bullshit.[4] Although Mary Jane is loathe to seek the Black Cat’s help, she was the only person she could think to contact on such short notice, besides she recalls how Peter once said that Felicia is one of the most loyal friends he has.

Giving Felicia her money, she tells her how Spider-Man had called her recently for information on an aging model named Lola Huxley. Mary Jane only knows a little about her, saying that she is recently experiencing a renaissance. Peter then told her that he can’t discuss it on the phone and asked to meet her at their old hangout, the Coffee Bean. However, when Mary Jane went to the alley next door to wait for him she found his phone and discovered that it was scuffed up as though it fell from a high place. She then convinced the landlord of a near by building to let her check out the roof. There she discovered the scene of a battle and after scrolling past some intimate photos of Felicia on Peter’s phone, Mary Jane was able to learn the location of their regular meeting place and arrange their meeting. She then explains that she set up a meeting with Lola Huxley for coffee to try and figure out what Spider-Man was investigating.and wants Black Cat to be staking things out just in case. Felicia accepts, and when Mary Jane asks about her lost bad-luck powers, the Black Cat assures her that she’s gotten them back.[5]

The next day, Mary Jane meets with Lola Huxley, who is convinced that Mary Jane has come to her with advice on how to get back into the modelling game and gives her a business card for someone who can do some work on her. Mary Jane is surprised to discover that the business card is blank. On a nearby billboard, the Black Cat watches this exchange, wondering what Spider-Man sees in this woman. That’s when two men in Beetle armor fly down and snatch both Mary Jane and Lola. The Black Cat rescues MJ, who then insists that she rescue Lola as well since she is their only clue to where Spider-Man is. The Black Cat saves Lola, but not before the two Repo Men recover the cybernetic wig Lola has failed to make payments on and fly away. When she hears that they work for a “doctor”, the Black Cat fears that she knows who they are working for. At that moment, the business card given to Mary Jane summons an automated limo to pick her up. She is then brought to the secret Body Shop of Doctor Tramma who is more than pleased to sell her services to Mary Jane. Saying that Lola Huxley is not a good reference, she assures Mary Jane that she has been vetted by her body guard, the Black Cat. As it turns out, Felicia got her bad luck powers restored by the Doctor. When brought into a where the Black Cat is waiting for her, Felicia tells Mary Jane that she’s been out bidded. This makes Mary Jane wonder how flawed Peter’s judgment of Felicia could be.

Recurring Characters

Mary Jane Watson, Black Cat, Spider-Man (flashback), Doctor Tramma, Repo Squad

Continuity Notes

  1. The Black Cat goes over some of her recent history the events referenced are:

    • How Spider-Man was upset with her for selling a vial of blood belonging to Morbius the Living Vampire, this was in Amazing Spider-Man #622.

    • How she recently helped Spider-Man stop the Lizard’s attempt to take over the city in Amazing Spider-Man #630-633.

    • She mentions the last time the pair had a romantic encounter, that was in Amazing Spider-Man Presents: Black Cat #1.

  2. Mary Jane became the host of “Sewn Up” a fashion reality TV show in Amazing Spider-Man #605.

  3. The Black Cat doesn’t remember Mary Jane here, this is because her memory of Peter Parker’s secret identity (and thus all knowledge of his personal life) was erased from her memory when Mephisto altered reality in Amazing Spider-Man #545.

  4. Mary Jane glosses over a lot of Peter Parker’s romantic life in one go. Here are the facts:

    • Spider-Man and the Black Cat dated from Peter Parker the Spectacular Spider-Man #75 to 100. He broke up with her after learning that she got her bad-luck powers from the Kingpin.

    • Peter started dating Mary Jane again shortly thereafter and the couple were eventually married in Amazing Spider-Man Annual #21.

    • Seeking to rekindle her romance with Peter, the Black Cat learned that Peter and Mary Jane got married in Amazing Spider-Man #316.

    • She started dating Flash Thompson in Amazing Spider-Man #329 in order to get revenge on Peter by breaking the heart of a close friend. However, Felicia eventually developed genuine feelings for Flash. However, the pair broke up after Flash had a brush with death and proposed to her, as Felicia wasn’t ready for that kind of commitment. That happened in Spectacular Spider-Man #210.

    • After Mephisto altered reality in Amazing Spider-Man #545, he erased Peter and Mary Jane’s marriage from existence. In the new timeline, one could assume that Felicia was upset to learn that Peter was engaged to and living with another woman as opposed to getting married.

    • Mary Jane has since broken up with Peter following the events of Amazing Spider-Man #545, the details of said break-up are detailed in Amazing Spider-Man #605.

  5. Mary Jane makes mention of how Felicia lost her bad luck powers. This is old news and it’s weird that Mary Jane would bring it up but it was probably done for the benefit of readers who might not have been aware that the Black Cat had her bad luck powers again when she resurfaced in Amazing Spider-Man #606. She was originally given these powers by the Kingpin’s team of scientists in Peter Parker, the Spectacular Spider-Man #89. However, a side effect of these powers was permanently giving Spider-Man bad luck. Seeking to stop this spate of bad luck, Spider-Man had Doctor Strange cure him, which had an unforseen side-effect of stripping the Black Cat of her powers. That happened in Peter Parker, the Spectacular Spider-Man #115.

Topical References

  • Mary Jane states that Lola Huxley was big in the 1980s. This should be considered a topical as it will eventually age Huxley a great deal more as the Sliding Timescale moves forward. Modern readers should take this to mean that Lola was big 30 years prior to this story.

Double-Edged Sword

While attempting to find dirt on the East Wind to prevent Boomerang from entering a plea deal and getting away with her husband’s murder, Jackpot has been tricked into attacking Mister Negative’s headquarters under the belief that he was going to target Jackpot’s daughter. She soon discovered that this was all a trick and that Mister Negative had freed Boomerang, unaware of why Jackpot was interested in him.[1]

Boomerang, who was broken out of Ryker’s Island to be silenced, tries to bid for his life by telling Mister Negative that Jackpot wants him to face justice for killing her husband. While explaining this, he also tells Negative Jackpot’s real name. She explains that she wants Boomerang to go back to jail to face justice for his crimes, refusing to allow him to get murdered by Mister Negative. When Negative questions how she is going to do this, she pulls out her grappling gun and uses it to knock out the Black Dragon. Then, fighting Negative’s Inner Demons, manages to grab a gun. Quick moving, Jackpot manages to get behind Mister Negative and put a gun to his head. When he questions if she has the guts to shoot him in the back of the head, she challenges him to call her bluff. Surprisingly, Mister Negative lets Jackpot and Boomerang go. On their way back to prison, Boomerang wonders why she went through everything since he still intends on providing State’s evidence and going into witness protection, telling her that she still has a chance to get real justice by shooting him then and there.

The next day, Sarah Ehret returns home to her daughter, who is happy to see her mother. When she asks if the “bad man” got punished for killing her father, Sarah tells her daughter that he did and hugs her daughter, deciding not to tell her the truth. In her carry-on bag, Sarah has the latest edition of the Front Line which features a front page story about how Boomerang had his murder charges dropped in exchange for State’s evidence.

Recurring Characters

Jackpot, Mister Negative, Black Dragon, Boomerang, Mattie Ehret.

Continuity Notes

  1. Boomerang murdered Jackpot’s husband in Amazing Spider-Man Presents: Jackpot #1-3.

Web of Spider-Man (vol. 2) #10

Web of Spider-Man (vol. 2) #10

Web of Spider-Man (vol. 2) #12

Web of Spider-Man (vol. 2) #12