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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Web of Spider-Man (vol. 2) #8

Web of Spider-Man (vol. 2) #8

The Extremist Part One

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On the latest episode of his show, The Mark of Branden right-wing political commentator Mark Brandon questions the current “Heroic Age”, pointing out that the same superheroes titling this current moment were also the ones who were involved in the Civl War and Secret Invasion not too long ago.[1] He has a criticism over the mainstream media’s lack of concern about the return of Steve Rogers and suspects that this is the beginning of a take-over of American democracy by superhero Marxists. Chief among those he is critical of is Spider-Man, saying he can’t trust a hero that wears two costumes. He then concludes his broadcast by sending out a prayer and wondering what will happen to what he calls “Normal America”.[1]

After his latest broadcast, Mark Branden leaves Rockefeller Plaza gloating over his agent about his current ratings, saying that Tony Stark’s threats of a lawsuit don’t scare him. That’s when he is confronted by a shrouded individual in a blue and white costume with a pair of guns. This entity, tells Mark that he has evaded the truth for a very long time and now it has found him. Mark realizes that this is the man who has been sending him manifestos the last while and orders his body guards to protect him. Unfortunately, nobody by Mark Branden can see this mysterious apparition. The entity guns down his body guards and chases Mark all the way to the skating rink out front of Rockefeller Plaza where he pleads for his life.

At that moment, Peter Parker is at Ultra Temps trying to get a job. During the interview, he appears to be clueless when it comes to experience with the latest office productivity software. When the interviewer asks when the last time he had a real job, he jokingly tells her that he used to sell newspaper subscriptions when he was a kid. He ends up earning the ire of the interviewer during the typing test when he tries to make a joke about the keyboard not being in alphabetical order. After passing the test, Peter is told that it will take four years before he is eligible for medical coverage and that jobs will be provided on a first-come-first -serve basis. When brought to the waiting room, Peter is shocked to see it is filled with people waiting for a work-a-day temp job.

Leaving the temp agency, Peter is down on himself for not having an marketable job skills, His primary career option, photography, has fallen through after a stint trying to help J. Jonah Jameson has left him unemployed.[2] Spotting a penny on the sidewalk, Peter bends down to pick it up, but someone beats him to the punch. As he tries to figure out his money woes, he considers asking Steve Rogers for some kind of Avengers salary, but figures that he’ll get a speech instead. Entering the area of Rockefeller Plaza he notices a Crime Scene Investigation Unit on the scene and bumps into his Carlie Cooper. He’s disappointed when she calls him a friend even thought they have been on a few dates already, which he supposes is just as well since he also has a side relationship with the Black Cat that is even less defined.[3] After hearing about Peter’s fruitless day of job hunting, she shows him what’s going on. She shows him the dead body of Mark Branden, who was murdered in broad daylight but nobody saw anything. Not far away, J. Jonah Jameson and his press secretary — Glory Grant — are dealing with a throng of reporters. As usual, Jameson blames Spider-Man for this recent deal and vows to bring the web-slinger to justice. That’s when Carlie shows Peter the only evidence found at the scene, a note left on the body. One half of the page is black with the words “YOU” in white letter. The other half is white with the words “ME” in black letters. On the back is a manifesto written by a man calling himself the Extremist. It calls out the idea of the world being seen in shades of grey when in actuality its in black and white. With a clearly defined line separating those who do evil from those who do good, such as this world’s heroes. The Extremist vows to reinforce this division by exposing people for what they really are.

Returning home, Peter discovers that Betty Brant is already covering the story on her Bugle Girl web blog. The last thing Peter needs right now is a serial killer trying to prove his image. Peter then wonders what to do about his current unemployment situation and thinks about how everyone seems to be making money online and decides to solve both problems at once. With no other choice, Peter decides to do something he vowed never to do. Going into his closet, Peter finds a box labelled “Bad Spidey Pix” with a warning that they should never be used. The next day, Flash Thompson is coaching a wheelchair basketball game when he notices two of the players on the sidelines laughing about something on their laptop. When Flash takes a look he is horrified to learn that Peter Parker has started a website posting embarrassing photos of his hero, Spider-Man. When J. Jonah Jameson comes across the website he considers it the best thing he’s ever seen on the internet. Soon, Peter’s phone is ringing off the hook. Betty Brant calls to tell Peter that his site is getting millions of hits and wants to know how much he’ll charge for advertising. He then gets a call from the German publishing conglomorate that bought the rights of his book “Webs” and want to know if he is interested in publishing a Spider-Fail book with them.[4] When the Avengers call for an answer, Peter decides to avoid answering. He then gets back to the whole point of creating this website, to try and flush out the Extremist. He then sits down and thinks about writing a post about why he hates Spider-Man. When he thinks about all of the things he lost because of his alter-ego, he discovers how personal all of his reasons are and decide to try and figure out something else to talk about.[5]

That’s when Flash Thompson buzzes Peter’s apartment, he is furious that Peter is using a website to tarnish Spider-Man’s name.[6] That’s when his roommate Michele Gonzales comes home and is furious to learn that Peter has been using her laptop to post his blog. She thinks that Peter has infected it with a virus when the Extremist’s “You/Me” image pops up on the screen. That’s when the Extremist phases through the wall to dispense his sick brand of justice. Michele sees the Extremist and tells Peter to do something about it. Unfortunately, Peter can’t see who she is talking about unaware that the Extremist is pressing one of his guns against Peter’s forehead.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, the Extremist, Flash Thompson, Michele Gonzales, J. Jonah Jameson, Carlie Cooper, Glory Grant, Betty Brant, New Avengers (Commander Rogers, Thor, Captain America, Luke Cage, Ms. Marvel, Mockingbird)

Continuity Notes

  1. Mark Branden’s rant covers a lot of relatively recent Marvel history that happened around this story’s publication. They are:

    • The then on-going Heroic Age event which was a line wide event celebrating a return of the status quo following Dark Reign.

    • Civil War was the event that saw the government implement the Super-Human Registration Act that forced superheroes to register with the government or face becoming outlaws. This tore the superhero community in half.

    • Secret Invasion revealed that the Skrulls had infiltrated nearly every corner of the superhero community in an attempt to conquer the Earth. Ultimately it was failed if that much isn’t obvious to you.

    • He refers to Steve Rogers as “Steve ‘I’m not dead yet” Rogers”, this is is a reference to the brief death and resurrection of Rogers. After surrendering to the government in Civil War #7, Steve Rogers was gunned down by an assassin in Captain America (vol. 5) #25. In reality, he was shot by a chronal bullet that caused him to live his life over and over. It was part of a complex scheme by the Red Skull to be reborn in Captain America’s body. This of course failed and Rogers returned as seen in Captain America: Reborn #1-5.

    • He also comments on Spider-Man wearing two costumes. He’s referring to Spider-Man’s classic red and blue costume (first worn in Amazing Fantasy #15) and his black-and-white costume (originally an alien symbiote first worn in Marvel Super Heroes Secret Wars #8 and a cloth one in Peter Parker, the Spectacular Spider-Man #99). Part of Brandon’s “confusion” over Spider-Man using two costumes at the same time stems from the Dark Reign event that saw Mac Gargan — aka Venom — pose as Spider-Man as a member of Norman Osborn’s Dark Avengers which lasted from Dark Avengers #1 until Siege #4.

  2. Peter mentions his two skills that are unmarketable they are:

    • Photography: Peter had, for a long time, been a photographer. His career had been primarily working for the Daily Bugle taking pictures of Spider-Man starting in Amazing Spider-Man #2. He was later fired from the DB! newspaper when he refused to be a paparazzi for Dexter Bennett in Amazing Spider-Man #561. He worked for the Front Line on and off since but more recently got a job as photographer for J. Jonah Jameson, now the mayor, until Amazing Spider-Man #624.

    • Science: Peter states here that he dropped out of Graduate School without getting a degree. Peter had entered the graduate program at Empire State University in Amazing Spider-Man #185, however his responsibilities of Spider-Man has often interfered with his studies and although he has gone back to ESU on two different occasions, had eventually dropped out for good.

  3. Spider-Man and the Black Cat have been seeing each other again since Amazing Spider-Man #608. Peter and Carlie won’t have anything official going on until Amazing Spider-Man #647.

  4. “Webs” was a book of Spider-Man photos that Peter had published back in Amazing Spider-Man #304.

5. Peter thinks of a number of personal losses he’s suffered over the years thanks to his double identity, they are:

  • The death of his Uncle Ben in Amazing Fantasy #15

  • The death of George Stacy in Amazing Spider-Man #90

  • Gwen Stacy’s murder in Amazing Spider-Man #121

  • And his relatively recent break-up with Mary Jane which was first depicted in Amazing Spider-Man #601 (the break-up happened after the events of Amazing Spider-Man #545)

6. Peter recounts how Flash’s hero worship of Spider-Man led to him going on another tour of duty that cost him his legs. That happened in Amazing Spider-Man #574.

Topical References

  • References to the Microsoft suite of software, including Word (a word processor), Excel (spreadsheets), and Power Point (presentations)

  • Peter quips that he used to sell Grit newspaper subscriptions and that he originally saw the ads in comic books from when he was a kid. THis should be considered topical for a few reasons. Grit is a real world publication and secondly, they primarily advertised and had teenagers sell subscriptions using comic book ads between 1940 and 1970. The last time *I* saw Grit advertising to young people was in the early 90s. That is totally not a thing anymore.

  • References to Peter getting medical coverage from Ultra Temps in 2014 should also be considered topical.

Un Nuovo Inizio?

Ben Reilly thinks about the moment he decided to turn his life around. Since learning that he was nothing more than a clone of Peter Parker, Reilly had falling into the depths of despair because his life of memories were all a lie. Eventually, he decided to commit suicide and had the gun in his mouth and was about to pull the trigger when he suddenly had an epiphany: If his entire past was a lie, then he could create any future he wanted.[1]

Ben has since relocated to Rome where he has taken a job teaching English class to the children of American diplomats at the Roosevelt School. Presently he is doing a character study of Sydney Carton from Charles Dickens’ novel A Tale of Two Cities, asking his students how the character changed places with his lover’s husband before he was to be executed and asks his students to think about what he could have done when given the opportunity to live life as a different man.

That evening, Ben is having dinner with his colleagues and admits that his work has kept him too busy to see the sights Rome has to offer. One of his colleagues, Paolo has made Reilly his pet project and when their colleague — Simona Battaglia — excuses herself to go to the washroom, Paolo points out that she has a think for Ben. Paolo tells Ben to pursue her since her father is one of the richest men in Italy and is friends with the Prime Minister. When Paolo convinces Ben to ask Simona out on a date, she accepts before he can even finish making his offer. She tells him to meet her at Cafe Rosati in Piazza Del Popolo after work and kisses him before she leaves.

When Ben returns to his apartment he is shocked to discover a man waiting for him. Apparently, this man is a private investigator hired by Simona’s father to keep tabs on the people his daughter associates with. Although this private investigator has discovered that everything about Ben Reilly’s past is a lie he has determined that Ben is essentially a good man. However, he has also determined that Ben is not worthy to have a relationship with Simon Battaglia and tells him to leave Rome or risk having his secrets exposed and himself sent to jail. When the private investigator leaves, Ben suddenly becomes very angry. Using his spider-powers, Ben forces the invesigator’’s car off the road and tells him that his employer doesn’t frighten him. In the middle of making threats, Ben realizes that he’s pushing things too far and leaves. Per the investigator’s advice, Ben Reilly leaves Rome the next day, deciding that he is not really sure if he is anything more than the mirror image of a man, but someday he’ll become a real man.

As he leaves the city, he is unaware that the private investigator — Vincenzo — has reported back to Simona’s father. He’s interested in Ben Reilly because he is unpredictable and dangerous. However, is a mystery something that Battaglia doesn’t like.[2]

Recurring Characters

Ben Reilly

Continuity Notes

  1. Ben Reilly was a clone of Peter Parker created by the Jackal in Amazing Spider-Man #149. This story occurs prior to his return to Peter Parker’s life in Web of Spider-Man #117.

  2. This story is left open ended suggesting that Simona’s father wasn’t quite finished with Ben Reilly. However, as I write this (August 2020) a follow up story has yet to be published.

Web of Spider-Man (vol. 2) #7

Web of Spider-Man (vol. 2) #7

Web of Spider-Man (vol. 2) #9

Web of Spider-Man (vol. 2) #9