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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Amazing Spider-Man (Vol. 2) #2

Amazing Spider-Man (Vol. 2) #2

I Can’t… (And I Don’t Want To)… But I Must!

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High above New York City, the new Spider-Man clings to a radio tower trying to psyche themselves up to leap down to the city below. Although they know the original Spider-Man couldn’t fly, they made swinging through the city look like the most natural thing in the world. Using their amazing agility, the new Spider-Man manages to leap down to the lower buildings. That’s when Spider-Man spots a robber trying to escape the police. Spider-Man quickly knocks out the crook and leaves him for the cops. Racing up the side of a building, Spider-Man wonders how their predecessor manages to fight crime without flying and decides that they need to get some web-shooters somehow.

Meanwhile, at the penthouse apartment that Peter Parker shares with his wife Mary Jane, Peter is getting ready for his first day at work.[1] Mary Jane keeps on fussing in order to make sure that Peter is not wearing his Spider-Man costume underneath his regular clothes because he promised her that he would retire from crimefighting.[2] Satisfied that Peter is being true to his word, Mary Jane tells him that she has a busy week ahead with a commercial shoot in LA and a runway gig in France. Peter is happy that Mary Jane’s career is making a huge rebound and while they could always use the money he is concerned that she is spending too much away. Mary Jane tells Peter to stop worrying as she is confident everything will work out in the end and just enjoy their new lifestyle. That when Jill Stacy buzzes their apartment to be let in. As Peter heads out the door, Mary Jane suggests that Jill stop by Peter’s new job and check it out, since she hasn’t had the chance to do so herself. Jill likes the idea and hopes she can meet a cute guy, while Mary Jane jokingly tells her to make sure there is no competition for Peter’s affections there. After arranging to meet up with Jill for lunch, Peter heads off for work.

While in Queens, Aunt May has Anna Watson and other friends over to celebrate her return after they all thought she kidnapped and everyone was left to believe she was dead.[3] May dismisses the concerns about her own wellbeing telling her friends that she was more worried about Peter, reminding them all how frail she thinks he is. Later, after all the guests are gone, May helps Anna with the dishes, Anna tells her how wonderful it was to have May back in her own home. May reminds Anna that this is her home now that she is living with Peter and Mary Jane, telling her that she should be happy with the current living arrangements since Peter and Mary Jane are.[4] While at Oscorp Industries, John Stone is doing everything he can to keep the business afloat.[5] When he gets a call from security about a strange man in a trenchcoat that insists on seeing Stone, John doesn’t know who it is and tells security to kick him out.

When security tells the intruder to get lost when suddenly he bursts into flames. As security tries to contain the threat, a man named Gray Dolamn watches from the crowd and is not impressed with this development since he wanted to keep a low profile while he and his associate took back what Norman Osborn stole from him. Not far away, the new Spider-Man hears a radio report about the attack on Osborn Industries and suddenly flies off to that location. Meanwhile, at the TriCorp Research Foundation, Peter Parker impresses his new colleagues with his latest work. Seeing this is owner Ted Twaki who is also impressed and tells Peter to prepare the final demo but jokingly warns him he will not enjoy the paperwork involved. Later he meets with his colleague Javier Caldrone, who is nervous about Peter’s new work but is insulted when Peter offers to show his work and storms out of the lab after telling Peter not to get too comfortable as he is only the flavor of the month. During his lunch break, Peter talks to Terry Kwan about his conversation with Javier, who tells Peter that Caldrone is a great scientist but his personality takes some getting used to. Later when the final demo is being done, something goes wrong when the chemical mixture Peter devised explodes. Peter is safe thanks to the protective gear he was wearing and as the fires are being put out, Javier reminds Peter that this is exactly what he warned him about. This makes Peter suspicious. However, all concerns are forgotten when other scientists are abuzz about news about Spider-Man battling a supervillain at Oscorp. Spider-Man is also interested in seeing his successor in action and joins the other scientists in the rec room to watch the news coverage of the battle.

Outside Osborp, the new Spider-Man tries to get this mysterious villain to explain why he is attacking the building but cannot get a peep out of him. While dodging fireballs, the attacker uses his flame powers to melt through the ground into the subway tunnels below. Spider-Man follows after them and watches as the villain burns through a secret vault. Noting the bandages that are wrapped around the villain have come loose, Spider-Man quickly yanks them off, pulling the villain away from the files they are searching through. Fed up, the villain removes the rest of the bandages revealing that there is nothing but a flaming skeleton underneath. Introducing himself as Shadrac, the villain grabs Spider-Man and uses his flame powers to blast the wall-crawler up onto the streets. By this time, Peter Paker has arrived on the scene to see what he feared most about his successor: that they would battle someone that they are too inexperienced to face. Seeing the new web-slinger flying into the air, Peter realizes that if he doesn’t act the novice hero will die when they hit in the ground. At great risk of exposing himself, Peter runs up the side of a building and leaps out and catches Spider-Man then carries the hero to a nearby rooftop before anyone can get a good look at his face. Peter pulls off Spider-Man’s mask and is shocked to discover that this Spider-Man is not a man at all, but a young girl.

As the youth begins to come around, Peter quickly puts on te mask to conceal his identity. Realizing that she had been saved by the real Spider-Man, she begins asking him what happened to him all these months and praises him for his heroics. Peter struggles with the threat of Shadrac and his promise to his wife, a decision made more difficult since he is standing in the view of a massive billboard featuring Mary Jane on it. He looks at the advertisement which prophetically includes the phrase “don’t do it tiger” on it, Spider-Man finds himself in a tough situation. The young woman thinks this indecision is due to the fact that Spider-Man doesn’t have his costume and begins stripping off her own, revealing that she had been wearing a padded outfit underneath to hide her feminine features. When she reminds Peter that Shadrac could kill someone convinces Peter that he needs to do something and he takes the costume. While he changes into the Spider-Man outfit, Peter asks the young girl how she got her powers.

Surprisingly, she tells him that she got them because she was involved in a mystical ceremony called the Gathering of the Five, in which Norman Osborn sought to gain ultimate power. Instead, Osborn went mad and she ended up getting the power that Osborn sought.[6] When Spider-Man disappeared shortly after the Green Goblin’s defeat, she decided to use these new powers to take his place. Excited to see that the real Spider-Man is finally back, the girl asks the wall-crawler if she can be his new sidekick. He tells her to be quiet and then leaps off te side of the building to face Shadrac, the young woman cheering him on the whole way.

Recurring Characters

“Spider-Man”, Spider-Man, Mary Jane Watson, Terry Kwan, Javier Caldrone, Ted Twaki, Chantal Stone, Stan Hardy, Shardrac, Gray Dolman, Jill Stacy, Aunt May, Anna Watson

Continuity Notes

  1. Peter and Mary Jane are referred to as husband and wife in this story. However, years later, their marriage was erased from existence by Mephisto in Amazing Spider-Man #545. As such, Peter and Mary Jane should be considered a common-law couple here.

  2. Peter retired as Spider-Man following the end of the Final Chapter story arc.

  3. Aunt May was believed to have died in Amazing Spider-Man #400. However, she was actually replaced by an imposter by the Green Goblin, as explained in Spider-Man #98.

  4. Anna Watson moved into Aunt May’s old home to help Peter and Mary Jane out while they were living there in Web of Spider-Man #127.

  5. Oscorp Industries has been struggling ever since Norman Osborn went insane, became the Green Goblin again, and was defeated by Spider-Man in Spider-Man #98.

  6. Mattie Frankling is referring to the Gathering of Five and Final Chapter story arcs.

Amazing Spider-Man (Vol. 2) #1

Amazing Spider-Man (Vol. 2) #1

Amazing Spider-Man (Vol. 2) #3

Amazing Spider-Man (Vol. 2) #3