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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Amazing Spider-Man #521

Amazing Spider-Man #521

Unintended Consequences

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After the New Avengers encounter with Hydra’s new super-agents — who are all patterned after various Avengers — Peter Parker has deduced they were on a rampage to cover-up the fact that Hydra was trying to smuggle something from the shipping yards. Taking this idea to Steve Rogers, Captain America isn’t convinced this is possible since Hydra has been nothing more than another faction of organized crime.[1] He mostly can’t believe it because it would mean that the Hydra of old is back and Rogers doesn’t want to think about what sort of danger that could bring. However, Steve tells Peter to keep on investigating things. Diving into Tony Stark’s SHIELD files, Peter learns that SHIELD operatives who have been working within Hydra have gone missing as well as the individuals who have been running Hydra for a number of years. He thinks about what Captain America said about how Hydra was formed during World War II by Nazis. He thinks about how during the War, Hitler used the Sturmabteling to help facilitate his rise to power. Once he got what he wanted, Hitler established the Schutzstaffel, their first order of business was to eliminate the Sturmabteling as they had lived out their usefulness. Peter wonders if that’s what Hydra has been doing themselves all this time.[2] He just hopes he finished his research in time so he’s not late for the opening night of Mary Jane’s play “Cats Always Lie.”

That evening, Mary Jane waits nervously backstage waiting for the show to begin. That’s when one of the stagehands delivers some flowers for her. When he tells Mary Jane that they are from a man in the front row, she peaks through the curtain and is delighted to see Peter made it on time. Watching Mary Jane’s performance is an awe-inspiring experience for Peter and he thinks how Mary Jane is the special one in their relationship. At the afterparty, Mary Jane is really riding high after her performance. However, her mood is soured when she notices Vincent Chambliss, a sleazy tabloid photographer has managed to sneak his way into the party. As Peter tries to get her to ignore Chambliss, his spider-sense begins warning him of two other men at the party. When Peter asks who they are, Mary Jane identifies one of them as Edgar Lascombe who owns one of the biggest pharmaceutical companies in the country, and that he loves attending the theater, especially Off-Broadway shows like this one. Peter tells her that he has set off his spider-sense and excuses himself to go and see why. Outside, he is told by one of the ushers that he just missed Lascombe, who departed in his car. Changing into Spider-Man, Peter follows Lascombe home. Staking things out from the shadows, Spider-Man notices a man emerging from another car wearing a Hydra insignia ring. Unfortunately, Spider-Man’s cover is blown when a cat knocks over a flower pot.[3] Spotting the web-slinger, Hydra agent pulls his guns and begins opening fire. However, before he can hit the wall-crawler the Hydra operative is fatally struck by a passing car. As Spider-Man tries to calm down the driver, Edgar Lascombe comes out and says he saw the whole thing. Questioning Lascombe, the businessman says he doesn’t know why Hydra would be after him. Although Edgar seems pleasant enough, Spider-Man’s spider-sense won’t stop buzzing.

At that same moment, Mary Jane is returning to Stark Tower after the party where she is ambushed by Vincent Chambliss, who takes her picture. He noticed how her husband, Peter Parker, left the party in a hurry and begins asking her why she there at such a late hour.[4] Mary Jane fears that saying she lives here, Vincent might deduce that Peter is really Spider-Man and expose his secret identity. In order to cover for Peter, she says that she has come to see Tony Stark and goes inside. Despite her efforts, Mary Jane has raised the tabloid photographer’s suspicions.

While back at Edgar Lascombe’s residence, he is not the least bit concerned that his bodyguard was killed if it meant maintaining his secret. Opening a secret compartment in his home, Edgar dresses in his Supreme Hydra costume and goes down into the underground headquarters that is attached to his home, Lascombe meets with the members of various terrorist organizations and tells them how he intends to prove to them that Hydra is back to being a major player. He explains that this underground facility is being used to amass a number of biological agents which they intend to load on a series of ballistic missiles which they will launch into the Ogallala Aquifier in order to turn the majority of America’s drinking water into a deadly biological soup. With the midwest of the United States wiped out over the course of 48 hours, Hydra will be able to move in and take control of the United States government.

Early that morning, Peter Parker returns home and goes right to sleep, thinking Mary Jane is fast asleep. However, she’s wide awake and once she is certain that Peter is asleep she gets up to get the newspaper. However, Wolverine has gotten it first and as he hands it to her he tells her that she must have had a wild night the previous evening. Puzzled, Mary Jane looks at the front page and shocked to discover the front page features a cover story accusing Mary Jane of having an affair with Tony Stark.

Recurring Characters

New Avengers (Spider-Man, Captain America, Wolverine), Mary Jane Watson, Hydra (Edgar Lascombe, Bowman, Hammer, Militant, Tactical Force), Vincent Chambliss

Continuity Notes

  1. Captain America states that Hydra has recently been just another crime cartel in recent history. He is referring to some branches in the United States that have been run by organized crime in the past such as the Kingpin (Captain America #145-148), Silvermane (Daredevil #120-123), and Don Fortunado (Spider-Man #73-74/79-80) He mentions how Hydra had their start in World War II. The earliest version of Hydra that existed in World War II was formed by Baron Strucker in 1941 as seen in Wolverine: Origins #17. However, Secret Warriors #1, traces Hydra’s origins back to ancient Egypt.

  2. Peter’s hunch is right as we saw in Amazing Spider-Man #519. As for the elimination of the Nazi brownshirts by the SS. Historically speaking, the SA was responsible for helping Hitler rising to power however Hitler soon saw them as a threat to him maintaining that power. High ranking members of the SA were executed under orders from Hitler by the SS on June 30, 1934. The history of World War II in the Marvel Universe has the same milestones as the real world, so it’s probably safe to assume that the events described happened pretty much the same as they did in real life.

  3. Spider-Man’s clumsiness here is a hint to the changes in Spider-Man’s physiology that will completely transform him during the Other: Evolve or Die event which happens in Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #1-4, Marvel Knights: Spider-Man #19-22 and Amazing Spider-Man #525-528.

  4. Peter is referred to as Mary Jane’s husband here. However, shortly after this, their marriage is erased from existence by Mephisto in Amazing Spider-Man #545. In the new timeline, Vincent would be asking Mary Jane about her fiancee instead of her husband.

Continuity Errors

  1. Captain America states that for the past 10 years Hydra has only been strictly a crime cartel. There is no basis of fact in that statement. Hydra’s first appearance in the modern age was in Strange Tales #135 (11 years prior to this story) and they had been depicted as a terrorist organization. In fact, when Captain America last encountered Hydra in Captain America (vol. 4) #29, it was operating as a terrorist organization — as usual. The Hydra profile in Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe A-Z #5 ignores all this “ten years” stuff that Straczynski writes in this story arc and says that this is just a branch of Hydra as opposed to the entire organization.

Amazing Spider-Man #520

Amazing Spider-Man #520

Amazing Spider-Man #522

Amazing Spider-Man #522