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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Amazing Spider-Man #522

Amazing Spider-Man #522

Moving Targets

Peter Parker is woken up early in the morning by Joe Robertson who wants to apologize to Peter after he learned that the local tabloids are accusing his wife, Mary Jane, of having an affair with Tony Stark.[1] Furious, Peter gets out of bed to look for his wife. When Wolverine makes jokes about Mary Jane screwing up, Peter angrily shoves him out the window.[2] Mary Jane apologizes to Peter, saying she had to say something when she was ambushed by paparazzi and she made up the story about visiting Tony Stark on the fly so she wouldn’t blow Peter’s secret identity. Peter understands and when Tony Stark enters the room and mirrors Peter’s sentiments. Peter decides to pay the photographer a visit, but Tony tells him that this isn’t the time because the Hydra agent that was killed the night before turns out to be on Edgar Lascombe’s payroll, connecting the millionaire to the terrorist organization. Tony sends Peter to investigate this lead, and assures him that he’ll look after the photographer, reminding him that the Avengers take care of their own. Tony then tells Mary Jane not to let this ruin the joy she got from the opening night of her play. Watching all this are May Parker and the Avengers’ butler Edwin Jarvis.[3] Jarvis admits it’s hard watching a young couple in love having to deal with such hardship. When Jarvis realizes he put his arm around May without thinking he apologizes and removes it. Surprisingly, May says she didn’t tell him to remove his arm and he gladly puts it back on her shoulder.

Later, Spider-Man is spying on Edgar Lascombe, and when the millionaire goes inside after having tea on his patio, Spider-Man tags Lascombe with a spider-tracer. When Spider-Man tries to crawl away when suddenly, he loses his grip. He gets it back and writes off this momentary lapse in his powers as the result of lack of sleep.[4] Spider-Man then looks in one of the windows and notices Lascombe go into one of the rooms and doesn’t come out. Suddenly, the signal on his spider-tracer begins reporting that — somehow — Lascombe is going down below the building. Breaking into the penthouse, Spider-Man snoops around and finds a closet full of Hydra uniforms. Finding a secret passageway that goes below the building, Peter quickly calls Tony Stark and leaves a message on his voice mail, telling him what he is up to. Then changing into one of the Hydra uniforms, Spider-Man goes down the secret passageway to see what’s going on.

As he snoops around, Spider-Man learns how Hydra is planning on launching missiles filled with biological weapons into the Ogalalla Aquifer and that they are mobilizing to take advantage of the situation when the entire United States goes into collapse. He then notices one of the Hydra agents arguing with another who is responsible for organizing a coordinated effort to move family members to safety. This Hydra operative, named Simon, is upset that he has hit the maximum quota and won’t be able to move his parents out of ground zero. When he tries to push the issue by pulling a gun, the other Hydra agents surround him. By this moment, Spider-Man has changed back into his costume and rescues Simon from his comrades. He tries to fight Spider-Man until he realizes that his comrades are shooting to kill. He convinces Simon to lead him to the missile they plan on launching at the aquifer. Unfortunately, their path is barred by Hydra’s super-agents, Bowman, Hammer, Militant and Tactical Force.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, New Avengers (Tony Stark, Luke Cage, Wolverine, “Spider-Woman”), Hydra (Edgar Lascombe, Bowman, Hammer, Militant, Tactical Force), Mary Jane Watson, Aunt May, “Edwin Jarvis”, Joe Robertson

Continuity Notes

  1. Peter and Mary Jane are referred to a husband and wife here. However, not long after this, their marriage is erased from existence by Mephisto in Amazing Spider-Man #545. As such they should be considered a common-law couple here.

  2. The woman that is identified as Spider-Woman here is actually a Skrull spy named Veranke, as revealed in Secret Invasion #3 She took the real Spider-Woman’s place in Giant-Size Spider-Woman #1.

  3. This is not really Jarvis, but a Skrull spy as we’ll learn in Secret Invasion #1. Jarvis was swapped out around New Avengers #3, as revealed in New Avengers #42.

  4. It’s not, this is actually foreshadowing Peter’s growing health problems that are the central focus of The Other storyline that occurs in Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #1-4, Marvel Knights: Spider-Man #19-22, and Amazing Spider-Man #525-528.

Amazing Spider-Man #521

Amazing Spider-Man #521

Amazing Spider-Man #523

Amazing Spider-Man #523