64705678_10157722991506490_777492954360053760_o.jpg

Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Amazing Spider-Man #530

Amazing Spider-Man #530

Mr. Parker Goes to Washington Part 2

Peter Parker meets with Tony Stark at the airport in the morning for their flight to Washington, DC. Noticing how tired Tony looks, Peter asks why he was up so late. Tony, who was up late having a meeting with the Illuminati, only tells Peter that he was up late in a meeting.[1] As they board the plane, Tony tells Peter that he has packed an upgraded version of Peter’s new Spider-Man costume.[2] On the flight, Tony gives Peter a draft bill for the Super-Human Registration Act that the United States government is seeking to pass.[3] Tony tells Peter that this new law would require all costumed superheroes to register with the government, which would also include revealing their secret identity. Peter doesn’t like the sound of that, knowing how many villains would want to get that information but Tony assures him that the government can keep that information private. Tony agrees there is a lot to be concerned over, which is why he is going to Washington in the hopes he can talk sense into the politicians who want to maker this the law.

After landing in Washington, Peter and Tony head to their hotel rooms. There, Peter pulls out the upgraded version of his new costume and listens to an instructional recording left for him by Tony about the new features.[4] It gives an overview of the new capabilities of the costume, such as cloaking and the ability to change its appearance to look like one of his previous costumes. Lastly, the new suit is equipped with three mechanical spider legs that are concealed in the back of his costume that will react to his mental commands. Later, the pair head to the Capitol Building to participate in the hearing unaware that Tony is being targeted by Titanium Man who has been hired to assassinate him.

The session gets off to a rocky start when the head of the commission begins grilling Tony Stark about if he is still operating as Iron Man.[5] After addressing that Peter Parker is an associate that is bringing his expertise after years of photographing super-humans, the session begins.[6] The session begins with Senator Whitmore who points out that super-human battles have amounted to billions of dollars worth of damage since 1946. Tony counters this by saying the superheroes saved North America from complete destruction at least 47 different times in that time and points out the United States Defense Department’s budget is easily double of the cost of damages caused by super-humans and suggests that pay off has been relatively inexpensive.[7] When Whitmore gets Tony to admit that heroes make mistakes, he points out that other industries have governing bodies that regulate and hold people accountable and that the government is seeking to do the same for superheroes.

When Tony has no response to this, Peter raises his hand to speak and is given permission to offer his insight. He says that the Doctrine of Proportionate Response dictates that the bigger the bad guy, the bigger the good guy that is needed to stop them. However, while villains tend to be ever-present, heroes only operate on a part-time basis because they have lives outside of their costumed heroics. Keeping their identities a secret shields their family and loved ones from potential harm if their foes ever learned who they really were. This does little to appease Whitemore who points out that law enforcement and elected officials don’t operate behind masks and face similar risks. While Peter understands that, most police officers aspired to follow those careers while heroes were put into those roles accidentally and decided to use their powers to help others.[8] Whitmore counters this by saying that those who operate as superheroes would actually benefit from registering with the government since they would always be on the side of the law. To that, Peter has no rebuttal, leading to Whitmore to call a recess. Peter realizes that he should probably not add anything to the conversation. Tony makes an example of asking Peter what time it was a means of teaching him to always answer questions as simply possible and not volunteer anything unless asked. During the break, Peter calls Mary Jane to tell her how things are going and as he talks his spider-sense goes off but he doesn’t see any immediate danger, unaware that Titanium Man is still trying to get a decent shot on Tony Stark.

When the session resumes, Tony Stark begins by telling the members of the Senate that their proposed legislation could have unforeseen circumstances. He points out that prohibition and the Vietnam draft turned otherwise law-abiding citizens into criminals. When the Senators ask if Stark is making a veiled threat, but Tony assures them that he will continue serving his country as he always has in the past. The session is ended for the day, and after Tony addresses the media, Tony and Peter are heading back to their hotel when TItanium Man tries to assassinate Tony. Thankfully, Peter’s spider-sense warns him in enough time to shove Tony to safety.[9] As people flee the scene, Peter tells Tony to make a run for it. After blinding Titanium Man with a blast of webbing, Peter activates his costume, changing into Spider-Man instantly. Spider-Man just barely holds his own against Titanium Man until soldiers arrive on the scene and start shooting at both. When Titanium Man tries to flee on his rocket-boots, Spider-Man tries to snare him with webbing and gets pulled along for the ride.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Tony Stark, Mary Jane Watson, Titanium Man, Mister Fantastic, Invisible Woman

Continuity Notes

  1. Tony’s meeting with the Illuminati, to warn them of the coming Super-Human Registration Act, as detailed in New Avengers: Illuminati #1.

  2. Tony states that he has made forty-nine upgrades to his Iron Man armor over the years. Actually, this is a slight exaggeration on Tony’s part. At the time of this story, the latest version of Iron Man’s armor, the Extremist Armor (first seen Iron Man vol. 4 #4), was being used by Stark was the 29th model of armor.

  3. There were two catalysts behind the government’s move to enact the SHRA they were Nick Fury’s “Secret War” against Lucia Von Bardas (Secret War #1-5) and the Hulk’s recent rampage in Las Vegas which took place in Fantastic Four #533-535. Peter’s comment about the bill being as thick as the last Harry Potter book should be considered a topical reference.

  4. This recording is depicted as being made on a pocket tape recorder. This should be considered a topical reference since that technology is considered obsolete.

  5. Tony is referred to as former Secretary of Defense and Tony insists that he is formerly Iron Man. Tony’s identity as Iron Man was revealed to the public in Iron Man (vol. 3) #55. This led to his becoming Secretary of Defense in Iron Man (vol. 3) #78, a position he held until he was forced to resign in Avengers #501 when he appeared to be drunk during an appearance at the United Nations in the previous issue of that series. Tony publicly announced that he was retiring as Iron Man in Iron Man (vol. 3) #89 but has secretly been operating as Iron Man again in Iron Man (vol. 4) #1.

  6. Peter had a long career photographic super-heroes, specifically Spider-Man, as a freelance photographer for the Daily Bugle. He started in Amazing Spider-Man #2. He recently stopped after getting a job at Midtown High in Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 2) #31.

  7. There are a lot of facts and figures being tossed around here. The facts:

    • The Senator states that 1946 was the first most pronounced year of super-human activities after World War II. This distinction is made since most superheroes who were active during the war fought for the Allied Forces. The earliest of these heroes was the Human Torch who first came on the scene in 1938.

    • The actual cost of super-human related destruction will always be a constant change due to the Sliding Timescale for a few reasons. The first that the number of years between 1946 and the Modern Age will continue to grow longer the more time is pushed forward. Second is the fact that inflation would cause the costs to increase as well.

    • The Defense Department expense figures that Tony Stark uses are from a 2006 report. This should be considered a topical reference.

    • Tony’s figure that the world was saved 47 times seems like a huge understatement, however, we don’t really know what metric Stark is using here. This would also likely change since Marvel likes to go back and tells stories that happened in the past, so this number shouldn’t be taken literally.

  8. As Peter is making his case there is a montage of various super-hero origins. There’s Peter getting bitten by a radioactive spider (Amazing Fantasy #15), Matt Murdock getting doused with blinding chemicals that turned him into Daredevil (Daredevil #1), and Bruce Banner getting caught in the gamma bomb blast that turned him into the Hulk. (Incredible Hulk #1)

  9. Peter doesn’t know which Titanium Man this is. Recalling that the original replaced and that the replacement was killed or had retired. At the time of this story there have been three individuals who have been the Titanium Man:

    • The first Titanium Man was Boris Bullski who first took on the role in Tales to Astonish #69. All-New Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe #11 reveals that Bullski is the Titanium Man in this story.

    • Kondrati Topolov, aka the Gremlin, succeeded Bullski as Titanium Man in Iron Man #299. This didn’t last very long, dying in that same appearance.

    • The third Titanium Man was Gennedy Ovinnik who appeared in Iron Man: Legacy #4-5. However, while those stories were published after this one so Peter is unlikely to be thinking of Ovinnik due to unintended omission.

Amazing Spider-Man #529

Amazing Spider-Man #529

Amazing Spider-Man #531

Amazing Spider-Man #531