64705678_10157722991506490_777492954360053760_o.jpg

Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Amazing Spider-Man #531

Amazing Spider-Man #531

Mr. Parker Goes to Washington Part Three

20 20 03 25 %h 15 34 mjfto.png

In Washington, DC as part of a Senate Committee on metahuman affairs, Spider-Man has just prevented Titanium Man from assassinating Tony Stark. When the villain fled, Spider-Man hitched a ride on a web-line. Spider-Man tries to stop Titanium Man as they pass the Washington Monument, sending him cashing near the Lincoln Memorial. Realizing that he’s never been to the Memorial, Spider-Man pauses momentarily to read the inscription of the Gettysburg Address. His spider-sense warns him too late when TItanium Man ambushes him and tosses the wall-crawler into the reflecting pool out front of the Washington Monument. However, Spider-Man is able to turn this against his foe thanks to his new costume’s built-in glider to fly around and land on Titanium Man’s back. Unfortunately, the villain is able to grab Spider-Man and toss him through the roof of a utility building. Pinning Spider-Man down, Titanium Man states that he has been hired to assassinate Tony Stark so there is nobody opposing the Superhuman Registration Act from coming into law which would be of great benefit to his employer.[1] However, Spider-Man was just lulling Titanium Man into a false sense of security, allowing him to damage his enemy’s helmet sensors with his mechanical spider arms. The wall-crawler then begins pummelling Titanium Man until he flees the scene. Trying to think of something impressive to say around the gathered crowd, Spider-Man tells Titanium Man not to come back.

The next day when the Senate hearing, Tony Stark is able to use footage recorded by Spider-Man’s armor to display Titanium Man’s admission for the committee, thus proving that there are bad actors in the world that are seeking to benefit from the passage of the SHRA. That’s when Spider-Man makes his presence shown and gives an impassioned speech about how superheroes exist to help those forgotten by the government and large corporate interests and pleads with them that the registration of superheroes would impede them from doing their jobs effectively. The senate is impressed but tells Spider-Man that if he wishes to have his words taken into consideration he would have to unmask and swear his honesty under oath. When the web-head refuses to do so, this is exactly the point that the Senate was trying to justify passing their law and has Spider-Man’s statements stricken from the record.

Later that day after the session is over, Tony meets with Peter. Although Peter thinks that his earlier stunt was a bone-headed move, Tony points out that he was only speaking his mind and that even though his words were stricken from the record he gave the Senators a lot to think about. Peter still finds it suspicious that Titanium Man attacked the capital on the day of the Senate hearing. Tony ignores this as the walk past the Lincoln Memorial and comments about how their current situation is not unlike Lincoln when he faced a divided nation and fought hard to keep to united. Peter agrees but points out that things didn’t work out so well for Lincoln. When he asks Tony again about Titanium Man, Stark denies knowing anything about it. Later that evening, Iron Man meets with Titanium Man and pays him for his job. Titanium Man is upset because he wasn’t told Spider-Man would be there, but Iron Man explains that his attack had to be convincing. Still, Titanium Man finds this amusing and warns Iron Man that his country soon might end up like his native Russia and it’ll be Iron Man who will be accepting money for jobs for a foreign government.

Later that evening, Peter is back home waiting for Mary Jane to get out of the show. He fights to stay awake by watching a baseball game but falls asleep just as the game is interrupted by a special news bulletin about six hundred people who were just killed in the town of Stamford, Connecticut.[2]

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Iron Man, Titanium Man, Mary Jane Watson

Continuity Notes

  1. Titanium Man states he survived the fall of the Soviet Union. The Soviet Union dissolved on December 26, 1991. This should be considered a topical reference per the Sliding Timescale of Earth-616.

  2. This news report is alluding to the explosion caused when the New Warriors tried to stop in Stanford leading to a number of deaths. This kicks off the events of Civil War #1-7.

Amazing Spider-Man #530

Amazing Spider-Man #530

Amazing Spider-Man #532

Amazing Spider-Man #532