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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Amazing Spider-Man #649

Amazing Spider-Man #649

Kill to be You

Weeks Ago

The Hobgoblin had just succeeded in assisting has completed a job in the dictatorship of Delvadia. When he receives payment he is offered the option of having his money wired into his bank account. However, Kingsley doesn’t trust banks ever since Norman Osborn froze his assets.[1] That’s when he is approached by Montana who has come to tell him that Osborn is out and that if he wants to come back to the United States for work he has an offer for him.[2]

Later

The Hobgoblin is brought before the Kingpin who is offering him to work. However, knowing Roderick Kingsley’s actions in the past, the Kingpin wants loyalty from him. Kingsley accepts these conditions that he will work only for the Kingpin.[3] Montana then hands the Hobgoblin his instructions, telling him that this is a test to see if he is worthy of further employment. Kingsley is given the location of a secret cache of Goblin weapons hidden in the ruins of an old Oscorp facility. Seeing all the new gadgets and weapons, the Hobgoblin is pleased. He is particularly interested in a flaming sword as well as set of wings for flight. As he looks over the equipment he suddenly finds a fresh cup of coffee on the table. Thinking this is Osborn, the Hobgoblin searches for whoever else is in the room and finds Phil Urich.

Afraid for his life, Phil explains that he came down into this secret facility in order to revive his career as the heroic Green Goblin in order to impress a girl that he is into.[4] When Phil points out that they fought once, the Hobgoblin says that it was his impostor, Jason Macendale.[5] He then decides that Urich has to die in order to keep his return and this cache of weapons a secret. That’s when Phil unleashes his Goblin Laugh, a sonic attack that — of all the Goblins — only he could produce. This disorientates the Hobgoblin long enough for Phil to get free. He then picks up the flaming sword and uses it to decapitate the Hobgoblin.[6]

Meanwhile, Norah Winters is at a biker bar in Brooklyn trying to learn why a local gang all have similar tattoos of the Green Goblin. The quickly discover that she is a reporter and are about to get violent when Spider-Man and the Black Cat jump in to rescue her. Spider-Man also wants to get behind this Goblin cult, and realizes that fighting these chumps must be what it’s like for Captain America to fight Neo-Nazis.[7] While they fight, Norah interviews the Black Cat and learns that she is partnering up with Spider-Man so that his Avengers credentials help with her own reputation. When Norah asks the Cat if she and Spider-Man are romantic, Felicia says that she is certain that Spider-Man is seeing somebody.[8] Spider-Man doesn’t like them prying into his private life and tells them to focus on the goblin bikers instead. With the battle over, Spider-Man yanks the Black Cat away, telling her never to talk to the press. Once they area away, Spider-Man takes off telling the Black Cat that he has work in the morning.

Spider-Man returns to the Park Avenue hotel room that he has been staying at since he landed a job at Horizon Labs in his civilian identity of Peter Parker. As he changes out of his costume, Peter can hardly believe how quickly his life has turned around. That’s when Carlie Cooper comes knocking at his door. Because they both have had hectic schedules, Carile has come by so they can have a night in and watch some movies. That’s when Peter realizes he left batch of web-fluid out. He begins making up a story when he notices that one of the gloves of his Spider-Man costume is poking out of the closet door. Luckily, Carlie gets called in to go over the scene where Spider-Man and the Black Cat fought the goblin bikers. Seeing Carlie out, Peter tells her that he understands and is relieved that she hadn’t stumbled upon his secret identity by accident. However, he wonders how he is going to keep this a secret for long since his girlfriend is a crime scene investigator with a keen attention to detail.

The following day, at the brand new offices of the Daily Bugle, Joe Robertson tries to get his staff psyched for their first day back.[9] Phil Urich then approaches Norah Winters and tries to tell her how he killed the Hobgoblin all by himself, but can’t find the courage. Instead, he asks if she needs anything else moved to her desk, but she tells him that she’s fine. She then tells Phil’s uncle, Ben Urich, that her Goblin story has hit a dead end. That’s when Randy Robertson arrives to see Norah, as the couple have been dating for some time.[10] That’s when Ben asks Phil if he wants to work for the Bugle as a gopher. Pulling out a file on Horizon Labs, he tells his uncle that he has got work elsewhere and that he’s certain it will make all the right people take notice.

Also that morning, Peter Parker is woken up by his Aunt May banging on the door. She has come to get him out of bed and to make sure he isn’t late for his first day of work at Horizon Labs. She actually tags along all the way to the lab’s headquarters on the South Street Seaport. Peter tells May that he doesn’t need her to go with him into the building. May understands, but she just wanted to see Peter on his first day of his new career because she is very proud of him and she knows that he is going to do wonderful things while working for Horizon. Peter thanks his Aunt and heads inside. As he goes, she thinks about how, long ago, she told Peter to focus on his studies and that he would become a scientist some day.[11] She then looks up to the sky and tells her late husband that Peter finally did it.

Meanwhile, at city hall, Commander Steve Rogers has paid a visit to mayor J. Jonah Jameson. He has come to ask the mayor to award Spider-Man the key to the city for his part in stopping the attack on the city by Doctor Octopus. However, given Jonah’s long seeded hatred of the wall-crawler, he flat out refuses to do so because he is giving his son, John Jameson, the award due to his career as an astronaut. John, overhearing the conversation, enters the room and tells both men that he doesn’t mind Spider-Man being given the key instead of him.[12]

While at the Raft prison, doctors are trying to figure out how to save the life of Mac Gargan, who has been deteriorating ever since they separated his body from the Venom symbiote.[13] They have called in Mach-V of the Thunderbolts who has worked with Gargan in the past. Mach-V tells them that Gargan, both as the Scorpion and Venom, was bonded to a costume that kept him alive and unless they return the symbiote to him or find a suitable replacement for it, Mac is going to die.[14]

Back at Horizon Labs, Peter Parker meets with Max Modell who tells him that he has passed their security checks and is officially given access to the labs of the “lucky seven.” He is then introduced to two of his other new colleagues, Bella Fishbach who specializes in green technologies, and young wunderkind Uatu Jackson. Uatu explains that he was named after the Watcher because his parents were huge Fantastic Four fans.[15] Peter also learns that the sixth scientist in Max’s lab does so under a strict condition of anonymity. When Uatu and Bella begin to speculate on their mysterious colleague’s identity, Max tells them to stop and then takes Peter over to see his lab.[16] Peter is especially pleased when he learns that the lab also features a “black box” storage safe that only Peter has access to, giving him the perfect place to store all of his Spider-Man gear when he’s not using it. Max then tells Peter that he is giving him a great deal of responsibility and has Peter promise that whatever secret projects he works on can never jeopardize anyone who works at Horizon. Peter assures Max that this will be his moment to fly.

However, Peter finds the next few hours stretch by as he finds that he cannot think of a single thing to invent. He realizes that if it wasn’t for his career as Spider-Man he wouldn’t have invented half the things he has over the years. Just as he is wishing for a distraction, Horizon Labs is attacked by the new Hobgoblin — secretly Phil Urich. Spider-Man arrives on the scene just as the Hobgoblin has incapacitated the facility security. At first, the web-slinger thinks he is facing Roderick Kingsley, however this new Hobgoblin explains that Kingsley is out and he’s the newest model. The Hobgoblin then begins incapacitating Spider-Man with his goblin’s laugh and easily beats the web-slinger into submission. With Spider-Man at his mercy, the Hobgoblin prepares to land a killing blow with his sword.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Hobgoblin (Kingsley), Hobgoblin (Urich), Black Cat, Carlie Cooper, Ben Urich, Joe Robertson, Norah Winters, Randy Robertson, Aunt May, J. Jonah Jameson, John Jameson, Max Modell, Bella Fishbach, Uatu Jackson, Montanta, Kingping, Commander Steve Rogers, Mac Gargan, Mach-V, Daniel Kingsley (unidentified)

Continuity Notes

  1. Roderick Kingsley fled the United States as a wanted fugitive after he failed to destroy Spider-Man for Norman Osborn in Spectacular Spider-Man #259-261.

  2. Prior to this story, Norman Osborn was made the top cop in America after her eliminated the leader of a Skrull invasion of Earth in Secret Invasion #8. However, he was ousted after a failed coup on Asgard in Siege #1-4.

  3. The Hobgoblin caused a lot of headaches for organized crime during his original reign of terror. See Amazing Spider-Man #250-251, 255, 259-261, 271, 275-276, 278, Peter Parker the Spectacular Spider-Man #116, Amazing Spider-Man #280-281, 283-284, and 287.

  4. Phil Urich was the heroic Green Goblin from Green Goblin #1-13. He was forced to retire when most of his equipment was damaged during the Onslaught event.

  5. Jason Macendale adopted the Hobgoblin persona in Amazing Spider-Man #289, after murdering Ned Leeds — who was believed to be the Hobgoblin at the time (long story) — He fought Phil Urich’s Green Goblin in Green Goblin #4. When Roderick Kingsley returned to his Goblin identity his first order of business was murdering Macendale, see Spider-Man: Hobgoblin Lives #1-3.

  6. This would be a good time to point out that the man everyone thinks is Roderick Kingsley is actually his brother Daniel. As explained in Spider-Man: Hobgoblin Lives #1-3, Daniel often disguised himself as the Hobgoblin in order to sow confusion in those seeking to learn the mercinary’s identity. The real Roderick is still very much alive and we’ll see him resurface in Amazing Spider-Man #691. We’ll learn that the man killed here is Daniel in Amazing Spider-Man #696.

  7. Continuing the Captain America analogy, Spider-Man and the Black Cat quip over who is Captain America and who is the sidekick. When the Cat suggests that Spider-Man is Bucky, Spider-Man doesn’t complain saying he’s met Bucky and “he’s pretty cool.” At the time of this story, Bucky is the current Captain America, taking on the role in Captain America (vol. 5) #34. Spider-Man first met Bucky during Secret Invasion #1-8.

  8. Recently Spider-Man and the Black Cat were having a fling in Amazing Spider-Man #606-607, but Spider-Man recently ended things after he started dating Carlie Cooper as Peter Parker in Amazing Spider-Man #647.

  9. Last issue the Front Line rebranded itself as the Daily Bugle. How this all happened is quite complicated. The Front Line was formed when Ben Urich was investigating how Stark Industries was profiting from the Super-Human Registration Act. J. Jonah Jameson fired Ben when he wouldn’t let the story go, prompting him to form the Front Line in Civil War: Front Line #11. Meanwhile, the Daily Bugle was suffering from financial problems forcing Marla Madison to sell it to Dexter Bennett in Amazing Spider-Man #547. Bennett rebranded the paper the DB! but ran it into the ground. The original Bugle building was then destroyed by Electro in Amazing Spider-Man #614. Last issue, Jameson bought back ownership of the Bugle and handed it off to Joe Robertson.

  10. Norah and Randy hooked up in Amazing Spider-Man #591-592.

  11. This flashback is taken directly from Amazing Spider-Man #1.

  12. Mention is made of how John used to work for Steve when he was Captain America. Jameson was Cap’s personal pilot from Captain America #358 to 408.

  13. Mac Gargan had been bonded to the Venom symbiote since Marvel Knights: Spider-Man #9 until last issue when the military took the creature away for examination. Gargan was arrested after Norman Osborn’s failed coup of Asgard that I mentioned above.

  14. There is a bit of Scorpion and Mach-V lore mentioned here. These are the facts:

    • Before becoming a superhero in Mach-V was formerly the costumed villain known as the Beetle. He started his career in Strange Tales #123 until he reformed in Thunderbolts #1

    • Mac Gargan was transformed into the Scorpion back in Amazing Spider-Man #20. This transformation made him trapped in his costume for a time (although they’re never really clear on when and different writers have been inconsistent on if he could take it off or not.)

    • The Scorpion and the Beetle were past members of the Masters of Evil, however there aren’t any instances where they have fought side-by-side on the team. The Scorpion was recruited by Egghead’s version of the Masters of Evil in Avengers #222. However, he was quickly reincarcerated. He was later replaced by the Beetle in Avengers #228-229. One could assume that Beetle is referring to an unrecorded time where they worked together, or he got this information third party.

  15. Uatu states that his parents have all of the Fantastic Four’s licensed comic books. As early as Fantastic Four #10, the Fantastic Four have licensed out their adventures to be adapted into comic books by Marvel Comics.

  16. The identity of the sixth scientist is revealed to be Morbius the Living Vampire in Amazing Spider-Man #671.

Topical References

  • This story depicts Peter as staying at the Waldorf-Astoria hotel. Although this hotel has been part of New York City since 1931 it’s the name of the hotel that should be considered topical because it is a real world company that has changed its name over the years.

  • Carlie states that she “brought Netflix” so they can have a night in. Back when this comic was published Netflix was better known for its DVD rental service than as a streaming platform. Although Netflix still does DVD rental, it is not as ubiquitous as it used to be. It should be considered a topical reference becase (a) Netflix is a real world company that could become dated (b) DVDs are slowly becoming an obsolete medium.

  • Dated pop-culture references: Joe Robertson thinks Denzel Washington should play him when they make a movie about the Daily Bugle.

Amazing Spider-Man #648

Amazing Spider-Man #648

Amazing Spider-Man #650

Amazing Spider-Man #650