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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Avengers #343

Avengers #343

First Night

On the roof top of Avengers Headquarters, the new Thor and the Vision wait alongside Jarvis for the arrival of another new member to the team.[1] Although it is getting late, Jarvis refuses to leave as he has welcomed every new addition to the team since its inception and isn’t about to change his routine now. Eventually, Crystal makes an appearance, having been teleported onto the rooftop by the Inhuman’s teleporting dog Lockjaw.[2] Accompanying Crystal is her infant daughter Luna.

Jarvis is looking forward to have children in the mansion again, and then apologizes for being insensitive to the Vision, since his own children have ceased to exist. In his new emotionless state, the Vision isn’t offended but a glitch in his programming makes him briefly see Luna as his sons — Billy and Tommy — for a brief moment.[3] This awkward scene is interrupted by the final arrival, Marilla, the overbearing nanny for Luna. She is a loud, opinionated woman, who scoffs at everything and despite the fact that Jarvis is incredibly polite to her she takes an immediate dislike to him.

Crystal figures that Marilla and Jarvis will become close friends soon enough. When she asks for the Vision’s opinion, he tells her that he has no emotional capacity to make an assessment. Crystal feels bad for what the government took away from the Vision. However, the android points out that he made peace with what happened, and even agrees that his previous self was a risk as long as he still had the ability to take over the world’s computers again.[4]

As Crystal, Vision, and Thor take the elevator back downstairs the alarm suddenly goes off. Exiting the elevator they find the Black Knight and Hercules fighting an army of robots and come to their aid. The Knight is taking particular joy as the opportunity is allowing him to test out his new photonic sword that has since replaced his Ebony Blade.[5] The new Avengers lend their power to their comrades and quickly take down the robots. That’s when Captain America and Black Widow come out and reveal that this was a surprise training drill and that Crystal and Thor passed with flying colors. Thor is unhappy at being put on the spot like this, but Cap insists it was necessary to gauge their skills.[6] Crystal, on the other hand, is more forgiving and promises to adjust to her new situation as she did when she was with the Fantastic Four.[7]

Later, in the early house of the morning, Black Widow finds that Captain America is still going over paperwork. He admits that he can’t sleep and a lot of that has to do with the Avengers being unable to maintain a stable roster, pointing to the recent departures of Sandman, Rage, and Sersi.[8] This makes him long for the days when the team was more tightly knit group where everyone was close. The Widow tells Cap he shouldn’t feel bad for having these feelings.

The following day, Crystal gets in touch with her estranged husband, Quicksilver, who is living in Washington, DC as part of the new X-Factor team.[9] She tells how things are going since moving in to Avengers Mansion and they make arrangements for Pietro to take Luna. Quicksilver insists on visiting with his daughter alone, as despite the fact that they have been trying to work on their marriage things cannot be rushed. Crystal says she understands but when she ends the call she gets upset. This is seen by the Vision, who apologizes for intruding on a private moment. Crystal decides to confide in her brother-in-law, telling the Vision how she blames herself for ruining her marriage since she was the one who had an affair.[10] Although the Vision has no emotional attachments to any of this, he points out that he has had his own quarrels with Quicksilver in the past and points out that in a complex situation such as this, blame can’t just be applied to a single person.[11]

Their conversation is interrupted by a distress call from the Four Freedoms Plaza from the Johnny Storm, aka the Human Torch. Johnny reports that someone is attacking the Fantastic Four, but before he can tell them who it is there is a large explosion that cuts the feed. After Vision confirms that the distress call is authentic, he mobilizes Crystal, Thor, Hercules, and the Black Knight to go and investigate what is going on. When they arrive at the Four Freedoms Plaza, they find no sign of a battle. As they try to make sense of what is going on, they are ambushed from the sky when someone blows their shuttle with an energy blast. With the flyers getting everyone safely to a nearby rooftop they are confronted by their attacker. It turns out to be the Swordsman and a mysterious woman. The Swordsman vows to get revenge against the Avengers for allowing him to die.[12]

Recurring Characters

Avengers (Captain America, Black Knight, Black Widow, Thor, Crystal, Vision, Hercules), Swordsman, Magdalene, Luna Maximoff, Lockjaw, Marilla, Edwin Jarvis, Quicksilver, Valinor

Continuity Notes

  1. This story takes place shortly after the real Thor was banished by Odin, leaving his ally Eric Masterson to take his place in Thor #432-433. This will remain the status quo until the real Thor returns in issues #457-458 of that series.

  2. Crystal asked to join the Avengers back in Avengers #336. Captain America accepted her offer in the following issue, saying they would officiate it once they finished dealing with the Brethren. The Avengers fought this race of hyper-evolved bacteria in issues #334 through 339.

  3. There is a lot of complicated exposition dumped about the Vision and his family that is quite complicated. The details:

    • First of all, the Vision ended up getting married to the Scarlet Witch back in Giant-Size Avengers #4. Some time afterward, the Scarlet Witch used her hex powers to make herself pregnant with twins in Vision and the Scarlet Witch (vol. 2) #3. Wanda ultimately gave birth in issue #12 of that series.

    • It was later revealed that these children didn’t really exist and would wink out of existence whenever Wanda wasn’t thinking about them. In reality, they were derived from fragments of the of Mephisto’s soul. See, the Lord of Lies was temporarily destroyed by Franklin Richards in Fantastic Four #277. He enlisted Master Pandemonium to get these fragments back. In doing so, Pandemonium effectively killed the Scarlet Witch’s children, as seen in Avengers West Coast #51-52.

    • The Vision isn’t emotionally detached from the memory of his children because, prior to their deaths he was disassembled and reassembled again. The result of this erased all his emotional connections to his past memories. See West Coast Avengers (vol. 2) #42-45.

    • What nobody knows at this time is that Billy and Tommy get reincarnated as Billy Caplan and Tommy Shepard. They’ll turn up again in Young Avengers #1, but the truth about their past won’t be divined until Avengers: The Children’s Crusade #6.

  4. Some time prior to his deconstruction, the Vision was injured during a battle with Annihilus in Avengers #233. In order to repair his immobilized state, Vision was connected to ISAAC the world computer of the Eternals of Titan in issue #238. This link pushed the Vision to try and force world peace upon the world by taking over the world’s computer. His made his attempt and failed in Avengers #251-254.

  5. The Ebony Blade was created by Merlin out of the Starstone meteor, as detailed in Marvel Super-Heroes #17. The sword had a blood curse on it that would make its owner become increasingly bloodthirsty if the blade was ever used to draw blood. It’s later explained in King in Black: Black Knight #1 that this curse actually came from the repressed emotions and hereditary mental illness of Sir Percy of Scandia. At any rate, the Black Knight had just experienced the blood curse first hand from Avengers #293-297, Thor #396-400, and Black Knight (vol. 2) #1-4. This story marks Dane Whitman’s decision to stop using the Ebony Blade. The weapon will eventually fall into the hands of Whitman’s page, Sean Dolan, transforming him into Bloodwraith in Avengers Annual #22.

  6. Thor complains about how Hercules nearly killed him in a training exercise. That happened in Thor #437.

  7. Crystal used to be a member of the Fantastic Four. She had two stints on the team in the past. The first was from Fantastic Four #81 to 105. The second time was from Fantastic Four #305 through Annual #21.

  8. The Avengers that had recently departed from the group include:

    • The Sandman: He was given reserve status on the team in Avengers #329. The Sandman thought he was fired after being scolded by Captain America for summoning the team for a civil conflict in Amazing Spider-Man #348.

    • Rage: Was also given reserve status on the team in issue #329. However, he had to be let go after it was discovered that Rage was only 14 years old. See Avengers #341-342.

    • Sersi: Has been MIA since the battle with the Brethren. She hasn’t actually quit and will return to the Avengers next issue.

  9. Quicksilver had just recently joined the government sponsored team in X-Factor #71.

  10. Quicksilver mentions how they were trying to make their marriage work. The pair had been married for years, starting in Fantastic Four #150. However, as Pietro focused on training the Inhuman’s military, Crystal began to feel neglected and started an affair with Norm Webster in Vision and the Scarlet Witch (vol. 2) #6. Crystal’s infidelity was revealed in issue #12 of that series and it drove Quicksilver over the edge for a time. The pair have been trying to reconcile since Fantastic Four Annual #21.

  11. Here, the Vision mentions his own quarrels with Quicksilver. Most of these were over the fact that Pietro did not approve of his sister being in a romance with an android. Pietro first made his displeasure known in Avengers #110. He carried this hatred for years until Moondragon telepathically forced him to get over it in issue #176.

  12. This individual is claiming to be Jacques Duquesne, aka the Swordsman. He died in a battle between the Avengers and Kang the Conqueror back in Giant-Size Avengers #2. In reality, he is actually Phil Javert, the Swordsman from another reality and part of a group called the Gatherers, multidimensional Avengers gone bad who are under the leadership of the enigmatic Proctor. TL;DR version: Proctor is evil Black Knight and wants to kill all the Sersi’s in the multiverse because the one from his reality dumped her. See Avengers #344, 348, 355-356, 358-361, 363, 372, 374-375. Also, the unnamed woman next to Swordsman here is identified as Madalene next issue.

Avengers #342

Avengers #342

Avengers #344

Avengers #344