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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Avengers #382

Avengers #382

Offerings

Quicksilver and Crystal had come to Wundagore Mountain after learning that Bova, the woman who helped birth him fell ill.[1] As it turns out, this was all set as a trap by Exodus of the Acolytes to draw the High Evolutionary — Bova’s creator — from his Citadel of Science so he could be destroyed for the crime of defiling what the Acolytes consider holy land.[2]

To this end, Exodus had an Acolyte named Rakkus take possession of Fydor, the old man who lived with Bova. Revealing that he was secretly poisoning the cow-woman, Rakkus then blew up the cottage where she lived with everyone inside. Luckily, Crystal is able to shield everyone inside from the blast using her elemental powers.

When Rakkus emerges from the ruins the High Evolutionary’s Ani-Mutants come to their master’s aid, but the evil mutant is far more powerful than they expected. Soon, Quicksilver, Crystal, and the Evolutionary join the fray.

Meanwhile, at Avengers Mansion in New York, the Black Widow finds Captain America dozing in the den. She has noticed that he has been exceedingly tired in recent days and worries that there is something wrong.[1] She thinks back to how she has known Captain America for years, dating back to World War II when she first met him as a little girl in Madripoor.[2] As she reaches out to adjust the hair on his head, she is visited by Jarvis, the Avengers dutiful butler. She tells him that they should let Cap rest and as they leave the room, Natasha suddenly realizes that she might be developing feelings for Steve Rogers and warns herself that she is walking into some dangerous territory.

At that same moment, Hercules has met up with a woman he thinks is Taylor Madison for dinner. He is happy to see her again after she she tried to cut things off with him recently.[5] “Taylor” is happy to see him as well and excuses herself to go to the bathroom. Along the way, she is accosted by Ares, the god of war, who demands to know what she is doing. As it turns out, “Taylor” is actually Hera who has been posing as Madison. Ares wants to know why she is on Earth, violating Zeus’ decree that no Olympian be allowed on the mortal world.[6] Hera reminds Ares of their wager to see who could utterly destroy Hercules, and that this is part of her grand scheme, assuring him that Zeus is none the wiser.[7]

Back in Transia, the battle with Rakkus rages on and when it looks like they cannot defeat the creature they are forced to slay it instead in order to stop him from killing Bova. After the fatal blow, Rakkus reverts back to the human form of Fydor. As it turns out, Rakkus’ mutant gift was to possess an individual through their DNA and Fydor was a helpless victim. As the kindly old man dies in their arms, Quicksilver and the others mourn his passing.

Recurring Characters

Avengers (Captain America, Quicksilver, Hercules, Black Widow, Crystal), High Evolutionary, Bova, Rakkus, Taylor Madison, Ares

Continuity Notes

  1. The known facts about Quicksilver’s family tree and his status as a mutant are later revealed to be false. The details:

    • In Vision and the Scarlet Witch #4, Bova led Quicksilver to believe that he and his sister (the Scarlet Witch) were the children of Magneto and his estranged wife Magda. Magda fled her husband and apparently gave birth to these children on Wundagore Mountain.

    • It’s later revealed that they are neither mutants nor the offspring of Magneto. As explained in Uncanny Avengers (vol. 2) #4-5, the twins were kidnapped as babies by the High Evolutionary who experimented upon them. In order to cover up his work, he made it so future genetic testing would have them register as mutants.

    • Scarlet Witch (vol. 2) #3 and 12 reveal that Pietro’s biological mother was Natalya Maximoff. However, the identity of his father (as of this writing) has yet to be revealed.

    • The High Evolutionary pretends like the Magneto/mutant back story is all true. Clearly he is lying as part of his own cover-up.

    • That said, it is has yet to be explained what happened to Magda Maximoff and if she was ever at Wundagore Mountain to begin with. I have a theory here.

  2. As explained in Avengers #380, the Acolytes consider Wundagore Mountain holy ground because it is the place where Magda allegedly died.

  3. Captain America’s fatigue here is a symptom of a larger health issue. In Captain America #373 he was caught in a meth lab explosion that reacted dangerously with the Super Soldier Serum in his veins forcing him to eventually purge it from his body in issue #384. By issue #425 of that series, Cap’s health begins to go into decline. Cap will eventually be cured of this condition in issue #445 of Captain America.

  4. Natasha did indeed meet Captain America as a child during World War II. This was first depicted in Uncanny X-Men #268 (incorrectly attributed to issue #269 here) and expanded upon in Wolverine: Origins #16. How could Natasha have been a little girl in World War II and still appear a woman in her prime in this story? As explained in Black Widow (vol. 3) #4-6, she was a subject of the Russian Red Room program to train her as an assassin and was exposed to a process that caused her to age more slowly than the average person. Cap managed to maintain his youth and vigor following World War II because he spent time in suspended animation, per Avengers #4, but you know that already, didn’t you?

  5. Hercules first met Taylor Madison while putting on a show at a hospital for sick children in Avengers #349. The pair dated for a bit until she suddenly cut things off without explanation in issue #367. Hera — posing as Taylor’s new roommate Augustine Jones — set up this phony date with Hercules last issue.

  6. Zeus decreed that the Olympians would withdraw from Earth in the recent past. This happened after Hercules was seriously injured during the siege on Avengers Mansion in Avengers #273-277 as seen in Avengers #281-285. The only person exempt from this rule was Hercules, who returned to Earth in Avengers Annual #17. This edict will more or less remain in place until Hercules (vol. 3) #1-5.

  7. Hera and Ares entered into this wager in Avengers #349. Hera’s big scheme is to break Herc’s heart by making him fall in love with a terminally ill woman. Little does she know that Zeus is well aware of her scheme and that Taylor Madison isn’t what she seems. As revealed in Avengers #384, Madison is a mystical construct created by Zeus to catch Hera in the act and her “terminal illness” is just her awareness that the magic that created her is slowly burning out.

The Door: Synchronicity, I

Since their former headquarters was replaced with a replica of the original Avengers Mansion, the team has discovered that not everything about the building is the same.[1] The Black Widow is sent down to investigate a section of the sub-basement they haven’t explored as yet to make sure there aren’t any nasty surprises waiting for them down there.

She keeps Giant-Man up to date with her progress as he tries — an failed — to gain access to the computer systems. She eventually finds the conference room for this version of the mansion. Searching around she is surprised to see that there is a holding chamber next door. Forcing her way inside, she finds a number of holding cells. Hank’s scans also reveal that there is some kind of chronal displacement field behind the brick wall on the other side of the room.

Soon, Giant-Man and the Vision come down to investigate this strange anomaly. The Vision tries to pass through the wall, but an energy feedback explosively knocks him back. This also shatters the brick wall, revealing a strange metallic door on the other side.[2] However, before they have a chance to examine the door, Captain America calls in with a priority request. The group then decide to put their examination on the back burner until the current crisis is under wraps.

Recurring Characters

Avengers (Black Widow, Giant-Man, Vision, Captain America)

Continuity Notes

  1. Got to give it to the 90s, even something as simple as a change in headquarters is overly complicated. Here are the facts:

    • The original Avengers Mansion, which the team had used since Avengers #2, had been relocated to Hydrobase in issue #279, then sunk into the ocean in issue #311.

    • Since then, the Avengers built a new headquarters at the site of the original mansion in Avengers #329. This served as their base of operations until it was heavily damaged during their battle with Proctor in issue #373.

    • After Proctor’s death in Avengers #375, Ute the Watcher thanked them by restoring their headquarters. However, instead of returning it to its previous state it was replaced with a replica of the original mansion. Avengers: The Crossing #1 confirms that this version of Avengers Mansion came from another reality.

  2. This door will allow “Kang” and his followers to attack the Avengers directly during The Crossing story arc. See Avengers: The Crossing #1, Avengers #390-395, Force Works #16-20, Iron Man #320-325, War Machine #20-23, Avengers: Timeslide #1, and Age of Innocence: The Rebirth of Iron Man #1. It’s later revealed in Avengers Forever #8 that this was all part of a grand manipulation by Immortus, not Kang.

Hank the Giant Killer

After a series of strange events involving size-changing, the masterminds behind the threat have now shown their face: The Creatures of Kosmos. One of these monsters has just crossed the dimensional threshold and is now attacking Hollywood. This all finally makes sense to Hank Pym, aka Giant-Man, as this is the nine year anniversary of the appearance of the first creature. He recalls how it murdered Vernon Van Dyne, the father of his ex-wife, Janet Van Dyne. This was also the catalyst that led to Hank transforming Janet into his crime-fighting partner, the Wasp to defeat the creature and avenge her father’s death.[1]

Hank chastises himself for not seeing all the signs over this crisis. His once faithful ant, Nash warned him of this invasion when he was forced to fight the giant-sized creature. This was also followed by the sudden transformations of those who had previously been exposed to Pym Particles: Hawkeye, the Kree operatives Doctor Minerva and Captain Atlas, Bill Foster the second Giant-Man, Scott Lang his successor as Ant-Man, Tigra, and even Janet herself who is now stuck as giant-size. However, there are still pieces of the puzzle missing as others exposed to Pym Particles are still unaccounted for, prompting the Avengers to try and track down the Scarlet Witch while Hank goes out to face the Kosmosian rampaging through Hollywood.[2]

Giant-Man clashes with the Kosmosian, blasting it with a weapon that is keyed into his own Pym Particles. When he needs extra strength, he shocks everyone by assuming the largest height he has ever achieved, 60 feet. The Kosmosian realizes that he is fighting a losing battle and retreats through a portal back to his dimension. Seeking to get to the bottom of things, Giant-Man follows after him. Soon after he is gone, Kosmosians begin appearing in major cities all over the globe as the invasion continues unabated.

In the dimension of Kosmos he discovers how the aliens have been accessing his reality when he finds the massive form of Erik Josten, the criminal Goliath. Josten explains that after his last defeat at the hands of the West Coast Avengers, he found himself shunted to this dimension which is where the worst criminals of Kosmos are imprisoned.[3] He explains that this prison dimension is where the shifted mass from the use of Pym Particles on Earth comes from, supporting Hank’s long standing theory that there was an extra-dimensional component to his size changing abilities.[4] There he was exploited by the Kosmosians who used his unique size-changing abilities — which combines Pym Particles with ionic energy — to wreak havoc on size changers on Earth in order to build up the energy needed to escape their prison.

Hank is then attacked by two Kosmosians who use illusions of his past to try and confuse him. However, when they use an image of his ex-wife, Janet Van Dyne, he snaps out of it and blasts them with his weapon.[8] This causes the Kosmosians to be shunted back to Earth and frees all those captured or incapacitated by the aliens. After returning to his lab, he discovers that everyone is more or less back to normal, however some — like Hawkeye — will never be able to use Pym Particles again. In the aftermath of everything, Hank meets with Janet and fills her in on everything that happened and how, despite the Kosmosian’s attempts to make him doubt himself, they used the one thing he never questioned: His unwavering love of Janet. The pair kiss and as they head off, he tells her that the key to defeating the Kosmosians was using his own Pym Particle matrix against them since it was the purest and original form, however this came at the expense of him not being able to shrink to ant size again, which is a small price to pay for winning the day.[9]

Recurring Characters

Avengers (Giant-Man, Wasp, Captain America, Vision, Black Widow, Crystal), Ant-Man, Nick Fury, Goliath, Bill Foster, Tigra, Hawkeye, Claire Temple, Vincent Rossin,

Continuity Notes

  1. This all happened in Tales to Astonish #44. Hanks assessment that those events happened seven years ago are not correct. See below. Also here, Hank states that he later discovered that the Creature from Kosmos was actually named Pilai. The first time the creature’s name was given was in Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe #5.

  2. The facts about the people that Hank brings up here are thus:

    • Nash is a descendant of an ant that Hank once used as Ant-Man back in Avengers #93. Nash the 12th grew to giant size in issue #379 and became a threat and had to be put down.

    • Hawkeye has had two stints replacing Hank as Goliath. The first time was from Avengers #63 to 98 and the other from Avengers #345 until Avengers West Coast #97.

    • Doctor Minerva and Captain Atlas were shrunk down to size in Avengers #345.

    • Bill Foster had become the second Giant-Man back in Power Man #24.

    • Scott Lang became the second Ant-Man in Marvel Premiere #47.

    • Tigra was exposed to Pym Particles back in Avengers West Coast #49.

    • Hank used his Pym Particles on the Scarlet Witch back in Avengers West Coast #73.

    • There are a large number of characters who have been exposed to Pym Particles that don’t appear to be affected in this story. Such as the Blob (Avengers #312), Spider-Man (Amazing Spider-Man Annual #24), and the Fantastic Four (Fantastic Four #16), just to name a few. One could assume that the crisis in this story only affected those who were exposed to the particles relatively recently, or uses Pym Particles frequently.

  3. Erik Josten first became the criminal Goliath back in Iron Man Annual #7. His most recent defeat happened in Avengers West Coast #92.

  4. Hank first investigated the possible dimensional aspect of his size changing formula back in Iron Man #194.

  5. Hank married Janet in Avengers #60, but they later divorced after he hit her in issue #213. They have been on-again-off-again in recent times.

  6. Although Hank loses his ability to shrink here, he will recreate this ability during his time on Counter-Earth, as seen in Avengers (vol. 2) #7.

Topical References

  • In this story, Hank states that it has been seven years since Janet Van Dyne first became the Wasp. This is not an accurate measurement of time based on the Sliding Timescale. Tales to Astonish #44 was published in June 1993, while this story was published in December 1994. This places each story in “Year One” and “Year Nine” respectively. So Hank is off by about two years.

Publication Notes

This issue was printed in two formats. The standard edition that only included the story The Legends and the Lost. However at the time Marvel was also trying out two special Marvel Double Feature books for a dollar more. The first one featured that month’s Avengers title with a second story starring Giant-Man. The other book featured that month’s Thunderstrike story with a back-up story starring Code: Blue. These double feature books only lasted for four issues.

Avengers #381

Avengers #381

Avengers #383

Avengers #383