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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Avengers Annual 1999

Avengers Annual 1999

Day of the Remains

Edwin Jarvis, butler to the Avengers, is writing a letter to an old friend getting them up to date on what the Avengers have been up to recently. Just the other day the Avengers — Captain America, Iron Man, Thor, the Scarlet Witch, Vision, Wonder Man, Justice, and Firestar — prevented a terrorist calling himself Ultimator from assassinating the Carnellian diplomat during a Broadway show.[1] Justice manages to disarm Ultimator with his telekinetic power, however the weapon has a suicide switch that will cause it to overload and explode if taken away. Tossing the weapon into the air, the resulting explosion compromises the structural integrity of the theater, prompting the Avengers help with the evacuation of theater patrons.

Back at Avengers Mansion, Captain America commends the team for a job well done, but points out the errors they made and suggest that they ramp up training sessions so they can learn to work more fluidly together. This meeting gets Justice feeling down on himself, as he has been trying his best to fit in since joining the Avengers, but believes that he just keeps screwing up. Firestar then tries to cheer him up, reminding him that they have only been on the team for a short period of time.[2] Iron Man pulls Thor aside and asks how he is doing since he and Jane Foster have noticed that the thunder god has been more withdrawn than usual. Thor tells them that it is a private matter that he is dealing with present and promises that he’ll reveal all to them very soon.[3]

While the rest of the team goes off on personal business, Jarvis wanted to tell the team that they are the finest assemblage of Avengers as any other, but knows that saying such is not his place. In his letter, he recounts how he came to America after resigning from his commission in the Royal Air Force. From there, he got into his father’s profession: that of being a full time butler. He remarks how little he much his life would change when he was first hired by the Stark family to look after their Fifth Avenue mansion in New York, as it would eventually become the regular headquarters to the Avengers.[4] He soon found himself carrying out duties outside the norm for his profession such as warning the cooking staff to stay away from the Scarlet Witch’s exotic spices, arranging to get much needed equipment so the team can operate smoothly. Still, after a busy work day, Jarvis loves nothing more than sitting down to a cup of tea and reading the day’s newspaper.[5] He is joined by Justice who had come down for a snack and he asks the dutiful butler how this Avengers team stands up to the others.

Jarvis tells the young hero that he is not comfortable answering that question, only saying that he is glad the Avengers are back since, not that long ago, it appeared that they were gone for good. Jarvis recounts how not that long ago many of the Avengers — Captain America, Iron Man, Hawkeye, Giant-Man, the Wasp, the Sub-Mariner, the Scarlet Witch, and the Falcon — all sacrificed their lives to stop the entity known as Onslaught.[6] While they later learned that the Avengers were still alive and living out new lives in an alternate reality, at the time they were presumed dead and gone for good.[7]

Despite the losses, the Avengers then current leader the Black Widow wanted to form a new team, after getting blessings from SHIELD Colonel Dum Dum Dugan.[8] She first contacted her former Champion allies the Archangel and Iceman, as well as the Beast -- all of whom were serving on the X-Men — however, they decline her offer to join the new Avengers citing the growing anti-mutant sentiment following the Onslaught disaster.[9][10] Next, she sought out Scott Lang — aka Ant-Man — but Lang isn’t interested in heroics anymore and wants to focus on raising his daughter, Cassie.[11] The She-Hulk later expressed interest in joining up with the team, but only after she is done with a case against Roxxon in San Francisco. Contacting Moondragon turned out to be a dead end as well as she would only consider joining if she was made leader of the team. While Jim Rhodes — aka War Machine — couldn’t commit because he was busy trying to erase all trace of Tony Stark’s double life as Iron Man before his cousin Morgan sold the company to Fujikawa, Inc.[12] Natasha later brought this frustration to Daredevil where she admitted that she feels like she can’t sustain the Avengers now that the core team is gone. Daredevil tries to encourage the Widow to keep trying, saying that he’ll be there if she needed him.[13]

Returning to the mansion, Natasha tried to reform the team again. However, Quicksilver soon quit in anger over the growing anti-mutant hysteria following Onslaught. That’s when Hercules — drunk off his ass — arrived with Sanford Chesney, a representative of the Maria Stark Foundation, the organization that funded the Avengers operations.[14] It was here that Natasha was delivered another blow, as the government has decided to revoke the Avengers security clearance, leaving efforts to rebuild the team dead in the water. With no other choice, Natasha decided that the only option was to disband the team for good and shutter the mansion. With that, Jarvis had the unfortunate task of informing the Avengers Crew that they were now out of a job, Fabien Stankowicz took it hard because being part of the Avengers Crew gave him purpose.[15] Soon, the mansion was turned over to SHIELD and Jarvis was the last one to leave its walls.

Relating this story inspires Jarvis to continue writing his letter, saying that new heroes like Justice have breathed new life into the Avengers. Since it is late, Jarvis decides to finish writing his letter in the morning.

The following day, four giant robots designed to resemble Captain America, Thor, Iron Man, and Ant-Man arrive over the 59th Street Bridge. They announce that they are the Protectorate and that they have come to defend the city. This leads to the authorities going on high alert and the mayor’s office asking the Avengers to investigate. Arriving on the scene in a Quinjet, the Avengers are all registered as mutants by the giant robots for some reason and they start attacking them.[16]

Back at the mansion, a delivery man wonders why Jarvis isn’t watching the news about the Avengers battle. The butler explains that he doesn’t worry himself with the Avengers battles as he has much to do. However, the seed has been planted and after the delivery man leaves, Jarvis puts on the TV and watches Trish Tilby’s live coverage of the battle.

The Protectorate don’t believes that these are the real Avengers, believing them to still be dead and nothing the team says can convince the robots otherwise. When one of the robots states their objective is to protect the city from a “universe of danger”, Jarvis recalls hearing that phrase before. He recalls that this was the exact phrase used by Fabian Stankowicz when Jarvis bumped into him shortly after the mansion was shut down. Fabian had hit on hard time and was not adjusting very well to life outside the Avengers. Trying to relay this information to the Avengers, Jarvis soon discovers that the Protectorate are jamming transmissions into the area. Deciding to take matters into his own hands, the dutiful butler calls Fabian’s last known address. He reaches Stankowicz’s ex-girlfriend who tells him that Fabian had purchased a warehouse in New Jersey. Racing to the scene, Jarvis sneaks inside and finds the remains of Sentinel robots that were used during Onslaught’s attack on New York City.[17]

He eventually finds Fabien, who has used this technology to turn himself into a cyborg that is controlling the Protectorate. However, his judgement is being overridden by the Sentinel’s anti-mutant programming. As the Avengers fight for their lives, Jarvis convinces Fabien that the team is indeed back for real and helps shut the Protectorate down. With the battle abruptly over, the Avengers are summoned to the New Jersey warehouse where they help get Fabian medical attention. In order to celebrate their victory, the Avengers then head back to the city for milkshakes. Although he accompanies them, Jarvis soon turns down an offer to stay as he has a lot of work to do back at the mansion. In reality, he wants to finish his letter, he explains how he can understand why Fabian did what he did as Jarvis went through a period of depression after he was out of a job. However, as soon as he heard that the Avengers were back and alive and well, he cleaned himself up and went right back to work.

As it turns out, the letter Jarvis has been writing to the Black Widow. He concludes by telling her that while the new team has had a rocky start he has no doubt they will become equal to their predecessors. He closes by telling Natasha that everyone holds her in the highest regard and that she will always have a place at Avengers Mansion.

Recurring Characters

Avengers (Captain America, Iron Man, Thor, Scarlet Witch, Vision, Wonder Man, Justice, Firestar), Fabian Stankowicz, Black Widow, Edwin Jarvis, Pepper Potts, Trish Tilby, Abigale Jarvis, Gloria Garsen, Peggy Carter, Michael O’Brien

Continuity Notes

  1. The Carnellian diplomat comments that he hates the United States here. This is probably because the previous diplomat, Sergei Kotznin, was murdered during a state visit. See Iron Man #124.

  2. Firestar and Justice had just recently joined the Avengers, as seen in Avengers (vol. 3) #4.

  3. At the time of this story, Thor had been merged with ambulance driver Jake Olsen and has been busy trying to find his missing people, who had been kidnapped by the Dark Gods. See Thor (vol. 2) #1-12. At the time, Jane Foster is a doctor working at the same hospital as Olsen (as seen in Thor (vol. 2) #5) while also being a medical consultant to Tony Stark (from Iron Man (vol. 3) #11-15). Thor’s merger with Olsen will remain the status quo until Thor (vol. 2) #79.

  4. Jarvis started working for the Stark family when Tony was a young child, as stated in Avengers: The Crossing #1. The mansion became the regular headquarters of the Avengers in Avengers #2. Jarvis was first depicted serving Earth’s Mightiest Heroes in Tales of Suspense #59.

  5. The headline on the paper Jarvis is reading states “Spider-Man, Bullseye [obscured] in Rooftop [obscured]”, this is in reference to Spider-Man’s battle with Bullseye in Peter Parker: Spider-Man #9.

  6. The Avengers sacrificed their lives alongside the Fantastic Four in Onslaught: Marvel Universe #1. Here, Jarvis states that Onslaught was spawned from the minds of Charles Xavier and Magneto. This happened when Chuck used his powers to mind-wipe Magneto in X-Men (vol. 2) #25. As explained in Wolverine (vol. 2) #105, the dark aspects of Magneto’s mind affected Xavier’s mind, giving birth to Onslaught.

  7. The Avengers and the Fantastic Four found themselves transported to a pocket dimension where they lived alternate versions of their lives for a brief time before being found and brought back to their proper reality. See Avengers (vol. 2) #1-13 and Heroes Reborn: The Return #1-4.

  8. Here, Dugan states that former director Nick Fury is dead. Fury was believed to have been killed by the Punisher in Double Edge: Omega #1. In reality, this was a Life Model Decoy and the real Fury will later be found in Fury/Agent 13 #1-2.

  9. Angel and Iceman were members of the Champions alongside the Black Widow. See Champions #1-17.

  10. The Beast also states that he is busy trying to find the cure for the Legacy Virus. The Legacy Virus was a deadly disease that affected mutants that was engineered by the mutant terrorist known as Stryfe as a means of getting revenge against mutant kind. It was unleashed upon the world in X-Force #18 and after overstaying its welcome as a plot point a cure will be found in Uncanny X-Men #390.

  11. Mention is made of how Lang succeeded Hank Pym as Ant-Man. He took on the role in Marvel Premiere #47. Scott also mentions his then-recent tenure on the Fantastic Four. This was from Fantastic Four #384 through 416.

  12. Following the apparent death of Tony Stark in Avengers #395, Fujikawa Industries bought out Stark Enterprises in Iron Man #329. It was officially renamed Stark-Fujikawa Ltd. starting in Iron Man (vol. 3) #1. Tony will ultimately take back his company as seen in Iron Man (vol. 3) #56.

  13. Daredevil mentions how he and the Black Widow were once partners. This was chronicled in Daredevil #81 to 107.

  14. Hercules took the “death” of his teammates pretty hard and fell into alcoholism for a time, as documented in X-Men (vol. 2) #59.

  15. Captain America formed the Avengers Crew in Avengers #300 to provide support services for the team. It’s mentioned here that Fabien got his start as a villain, first attacking the Avengers as the Mechano-Marauder in Avengers #217.

  16. Here it is noted that only three of the Avengers are mutants: Justice, Firestar, and the Scarlet Witch. However, it is later revealed that Wanda isn’t a mutant at all. In Uncanny Avengers (vol. 2) #4-5, it is revealed that she was experimented upon as a baby by the High Evolutionary. In order to cover up his work, he made it so future genetic testing would have Wanda register as a mutant. This has been used to explain why Sentinel technology (which was used to create the Protectorate) incorrectly identify her as a mutant.

  17. Onslaught took control of America’s Sentinel robots in X-Men (vol. 2) #46. They were sent to terrorize New York City in X-Men (vol. 2) #55.

Topical References

  • TV’s and computer monitors are depicted in this story as CRT models. This should be considered topical as they are now obsolete technology.

  • The original twin towers of the World Trade Center are depicted as part of the New York City skyline in this story. This should be considered a topical reference as these buildings were destroyed in a terrorist attack on September 11, 2001 and subsequently replaced with the Freedom Tower.

Avengers (vol. 3) #12

Avengers (vol. 3) #12

Avengers (vol. 3) #13

Avengers (vol. 3) #13