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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Tales of Suspense #59

Tales of Suspense #59

Battling the Black Knight!

The Black Knight manages to escape from prison when his flying horse brings him a weapon to break out of his cell. Now that he is free, he vows to get revenge against the Avengers for incarcerating him.[1]

Meanwhile, at Avengers Mansion, most of the team is waiting on the Wasp to get ready so they can finally show up for a charity benefit. When she is finally ready she leaves with Captain America, Thor, and Giant-Man. This leaves Iron Man behind in case something happens while the rest of the team is gone.

Changing out of his armor, Tony Stark returns to Stark Industries just as the alarm is going off. He rushes to his office to check with Happy and Pepper to see what is going on and learns that the Black Knight is attacking the factor. Tony tries to rush to his office when he suddenly recoils in pain. As it turns out, the battery powering his chest plate — thus keeping him alive — has run low on power and needs to be recharged.[2] Unfortunately, Pepper and Happy see how much pain he is in and insist on getting him medical help. Tony insists that he is fine, but only manages to lock himself into his office when the lights briefly go out due to the Knight’s attack.

Tony manages to plug in his chest plate in time to save his life, but Pepper and Happy are trying to force their way into his office. Fearing that his chest plate can no longer keep him alive without the added power packs from his Iron Man armor, Tony changes into his alter ego to deal with the Black Knight. The Knight tries various weapons against Iron Man but the Golden Avenger manages to evade or deflect each attack. Meanwhile, Happy tries to bust down the door to Tony’s office but it is reinforced with steel. He then tries to shimmy along the ledge outside to try and get into Tony’s office from the window. The Black Knight captures Happy and tries using him as a hostage. He then fires a number of energy-draining devices at Iron Man. Pretending they are more effective than they appear, Iron Man allows himself to fall out of the sky. As he expected, the Black Knight then drops Happy, allowing Iron Man to save him.

Having shaken off the energy-draining devices, Iron Man then catches up to the Black Knight and puts a burr under his horse’s saddle. This causes the winged steed to buck the Black Knight. Iron Man offers to save the Knight from falling to his death, but only if he drops his lance. With no other choice, the Knight surrenders and is quickly turned over to the authorities.

Returning to his office, Tony is about to take off his armor but stops out of fear that his chest plate won’t have the power to keep him alive on its own anymore. Coming to terms with the possibility that he’s trapped wearing his armor forever, he finally allows Happy and Pepper into his office. Unaware of Iron Man’s true identity, they ask where Tony Stark is. Iron Man tells them that Stark went on away on a secret mission and put him in charge. Although he convinces Happy and Pepper for now, but they are suspicious of Iron Man.

Recurring Characters

Iron Man, Black Knight, Pepper Potts, Happy Hogan, Avengers (Captain America, Thor, Giant-Man, Wasp), Elendil

Continuity Notes

  1. The Black Knight was apprehended after joining the Masters of Evil in Avengers #6. His horse is unnamed here. It is identified as Elendil in Pet Avengers Handbook #1.

  2. Tony Stark blundered into a tripwire and ended up with shrapnel in his heart. His chest plate keeps the shrapnel from reaching his heart, keeping him alive. Did you even read Tales of Suspense #39? Anyway, this condition continues until Tony gets a heart transplant in Iron Man #19.

Captain America

Captain America is staying overnight at Avengers Mansion on monitor duty. After Jarvis brings him a fresh pot of coffee, the Avengers butler retires for the night.

Meanwhile, a crook named Bull goes over his plan to defeat the Avengers with his gang. He demonstrates that a chain is only as strong as its weakest link by chopping one in half with his bare hands. He tells them that they can apply this logic to the Avengers by going after and defeating Captain America. Bull has come to think of Cap as the weakest link in the Avengers because Bull sees him as nothing but a glorified acrobat. They then capture Jarvis and learn that Captain America is the only one currently at the mansion and prepare an ambush.

Back at Avengers Mansion, Cap is looking over old photographs and thinking about how much time has passed since World War II. He upsets himself when he comes upon a picture of his old partner, Bucky, and the thought of his death prompt Cap to put the photo book away.[1] Cap’s morose thoughts are interrupted when Bull and his men try to shoot him. Luckily, Captain America is very agile and he avoids getting hit.

While they have the element of surprise, Bull and his gang managed to overpower and tie up Captain America. However, as they try to break into the Avengers safe, Cap breaks free and teaches Bull and his cohorts that he’s more than just a “glorified acrobat with a shield.” He quickly takes down Bull’s entire gang, including one member who is wearing a suit of armor. He then calls the police to pick the crooks up. Exhausted after this ordeal, Captain America muses that he never used to get this tired before and figures he must be getting soft in his old age.

Recurring Characters

Captain America, Bull, Edwin Jarvis

Continuity Notes

  1. Some facts about Captain America’s time in World War II

    • Captain America and Bucky’s final mission was stopping a drone created by Baron Zemo from launching an explosive loaded drone and it against the British. When the drone exploded, Cap fell into the ocean where he entered a state of suspended animation. For years he thought Bucky was killed in the blast. See Avengers #4.

    • However, Bucky survived and would be conditioned by the Russians into becoming an assassin called Winter Soldier. Cap will not learn about this until many years later. See Captain America (vol. 5) #8.

    • The amount of time that Captain America spent in suspended animation will always be in a state of flux due to the nature of the Sliding Timescale. The best way to figure it out relative to the story it is being referenced is to refer to my Sliding Timescale table and use the formula below.

Topical References

  • The amount of time Captain America spent in suspended animation should always be considered a topical reference. See below for a more detailed explanation (and math!)

Computing the Time Captain America Was in Suspended Animation

Say today’s date was February 5, 2021 and you wanted to know how many years Cap spent in suspended animation between 1945 and Avengers #4 is. First, we would take a look at the Sliding Timescale. According to my Sliding Timescale table, the publication period of November 2017 to October 2021 is “Year Fifteen” of the Modern Age. Avengers #4 was published in March 1964. Per my table, that happened in “Year One”.

The formula would work like this: (Today’s Year) - (Modern Age Year relative to Today’s date) - 1945 = The number of years Cap has been in suspended animation. Or T - M - 1945 = N

2021 - 15 = 2006 (The year Avengers #4 now takes place in) 2006 - 1945 = 61 Years

To demonstrate how this will change, lets say you wanted to figure this out in February 8, 2025. Per my table that would be: 2025 - 16 - 1945. 2025 - 16 = Avengers #4 now takes place in 2010. 2010 - 1945 = Captain America had been in suspended animation for 65 years.

As you can see, the further the Sliding Timescale pushes forward the longer Cap was in suspended animation. As such, any reference that gives a specific time period should always be considered topical. For more on how to compute the number of years Captain America has been under ice at any given time, go here.

Tales of Suspense #58

Tales of Suspense #58

Tales of Suspense #60

Tales of Suspense #60