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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Captain America #333

Captain America #333

The Replacement

When given the ultimatum to rejoin the government or give up Captain America, Steve Rogers has decided to quit. Now the Commission on Superhuman Activities are stuck trying to find someone to replace Rogers as Captain America.[1] While Val Cooper wants to get started looking for a replacement right away, Henry Gyrich wants to use this opportunity to punish the Avengers by stripping them of their security clearances for good.[2] This idea is vetoed by the others. The conversation then turns to creating a new super-soldier. However, General Lewis Haywerth informs them that past attempts — by creating both Nuke and G.I. Max — were utter failures.[3][4]

They then begin considering pre-existing superheroes to take Captain America’s place. Their first consideration is Nomad, but they decide against propositioning him because he is Steve Rogers’ former partner.[5] The Falcon is likewise turned down as a candidate because they are unsure if America is ready for a black Captain America.[6] Nick Fury is also considered, but they also decide against it due to his age and the fact that he won’t want to give up his position as Director of SHIELD. That’s when Val shows them the front page news about how the Super-Patriot saved Washington from a terrorist and suggests they choose him instead.[7]

At that very moment, the Super-Patriot is being interviewed on a morning talk show about how he heroically saved the city from Warhead, a terrorist that threatened to blow up the city with a nuclear bomb. This has been a huge windfall for the Patriot as this has given a huge surge in popularity, much to the delight of his agent, Ethan Thurm. Not long after the interview, Super-Patriot is approached the FBI agents McNulty and Farbe who tell him that his government wishes to speak with him. Agreeing to come along, the Super-Patriot is brought to Val Cooper, who wants to know more about his background.

At first, the Super-Patriot wonders if the government is trying to keep tabs on him but decides against this paranoid idea. Removing his mask, he reveals his true identity and introduces himself by his real name. He is really John Walker of Custer’s Grove, Georgia. He was the youngest of three siblings. His brother enlisted in the military but was killed in action during a tour overseas. Inspired by his brother’s bravery, John enlisted in the military. Unfortuantely, his entire stint in the military was during peace time and he never saw any action.[8] Still seeking to become the hero his brother was, John and a military buddy learned about the Power Broker’s augmented strength program. A successful subject, John was about to join up with the Unlimited Class Wrestling Federation when he had a chance encounter with his agent Ethan Thurm, who had greater ambitions for John than professional wrestling. They then worked together to create the Super-Patriot identity and began promoting the identity to be America’s next greatest superhero.

Hearing all this, Val Cooper shows him Captain America’s shield and tells him how the original Cap retired and that they are seeking a replacement. She has decided that John will fit that role nicely given his background. John is reluctant to take on the mantle of a man he spent his career trying to tear down, but when he is told that he has to take on the Captain America identity to accept this job, John takes it because he wants to serve his country. When John returns to his hotel room and tells Ethan what he agreed to, Thurm is upset at first. However, he quickly begins coming up with ways to make money off this new turn of events, hoping to parlay this into government paying jobs for himself and the Buckies.

John leaves, Ethan to his scheming to go out for a jog. As he reaches the Lincoln Memorial, John decides to call Captain America’s hotline to challenge him to one last fight in order to prove himself as Cap’s superior. However, rather than Steve Rogers, John is attacked by his fellow Buckies. They are upset at the news that he is signing up with the government to be the next Captain America, because they believe that he is going to leave them behind. However, they quickly make peace when John promises to look after them once he secures the job.

When Super-Patriot meets with the entire Commission, they inform him that his background check came back clean and they have decided to make him the next Captain America. When John presents the list of demands made by his agent, the Commission says they will consider employing Ethan and the Buckies as long as they also pass their security screening. Moments later, John is given Captain America’s costume and shield for the first time.[7] It’s a snug fit, and when John requests alterations they are denied. The new Captain America is then introduced to the Blob, Pyro, and Avalanche, members of the government sponsored Freedom Force who have been train John.

During the combat training session, the new Captain America is able to hold his own at first thanks to his augmented strength. However, although he is able to knock out Avalanche and Pyro, his lack of training — particularly in using Captain America’s shield — ends up in his defeat at the hands of the Blob. The obese mutant is about to suffocate John with his bare hands when Val Cooper comes back into the room and orders him to stop. Cooper decides to get John to review their archives of the original Captain America in battle in order to learn to fight like him.

When John returns to hit hotel room he is too exhausted to talk to Ethan and the others about the demands they have met. The following morning, when John reports for duty as Captain America, he is brought before the commission again. They have completed a FBI background check on his manager and the Buckies and found that only one of them could pass security screening. John has no objections if they ask if he has any problems with this arrangement.

Recurring Characters

Captain America, The Commission (Valerie Cooper, Henry Gyrich, Lewis Haywerth), Warhead, Nomad, Falcon, Nick Fury, BUCkies (Lemar Hoskins, Hector Lennox, Jerome Johnson), Freedom Force (Avalanche, Blob, Pyro), Ethan Thurm

Continuity Notes

  1. Steve was given an ultimatum by the government last issue: Become a government agent or give up being Captain America. This will remain the status quo until Captain America #350.

  2. Gyrich has a bone to pick with the Avengers during his time as their NSA liaison. From Avengers #168 through 191 he attempted to revoke all of their security clearances and micromanaged the team until they proved they needed autonomy to operate properly. He was later replaced as Avengers liaison by Raymond Sikorski in Avengers #235.

  3. Nuke was created by the military to be a new super-soldier but a combination of PTSD and drugs that regulated his emotions made him incredible unstable. G.I. Max on the other hand received super-human strength from the Power Broker’s strength augmentation program but was poorly trained in the use of his strength and was accidentally killed during his first mission. See Daredevil #233 and Captain America #331.

  4. One of the reasons why Nuke was not a viable candidate is because he was not exposed to vita-rays, one crucial component to the super-soldier formula. Failing to do so usually results in the subject becoming mentally unstable, as was the case with the Captain America and Bucky of thew 1950s, as seen in Captain America #150.

  5. Speaking of the Bucky of the 1950’s, that’s who Nomad is. He had been Captain America’s partner from Captain America #281. He took on the Nomad identity in the following issue and became Cap’s official partner in issue #295. Later, in Captain America #309, Nomad decided to hack it on his.

  6. It’s kind of funny that they state that the world is not ready for black Captain America. Apparently, a bunch of shitty fans thought the same way when Sam Wilson became Cap for a time years after this story. See Captain America (vol. 7) #25 through Avengers #672. It should also be noted here that there already was a black Captain America, a few actually. Five African-American soldiers were treated with the super-soldier serum before it was even tried on Steve Rogers. See Truth: Red, White and Black #1-7.

  7. John recounts how the last time he felt Cap’s shield was when he was getting hit by it. This happened when the two fought in Captain America #327.

  8. John’s accounting of his brother’s military service turns out to be untrue. In US Agent (vol. 3) #2 it is revealed that Mike suffered from depression and he had committed suicide.

Topical References

  • This story states that John Walker’s brother served in the Vietnam War and died in combat in 1974. This should be considered a topical reference. Per History of the Marvel Universe #2, anyone existing in the Modern Age with a normal human life span that has been previously identified as serving in the Vietnam War now have served in the Sin-Cong Conflict. This is a fictional war that was created to explain the “Vietnam War” in early Modern Age stories. Rather than dying in 1974, modern readers should interpret this to mean that John’s brother died 13 years prior to this story.

Captain America #332

Captain America #332

Captain America #334

Captain America #334