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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Captain America #335

Captain America #335

Baptism of Fire

John Walker and Lemar Hoskins — the new Captain America and Bucky — have been undergoing trainings for weeks.[1] After running through a training simulation for the members of the Committee on Superhuman Affairs, they pass with flying colors. The head of the commission — Douglas Rockwell — is pleased and has the new Captain America sworn into service. With that out of the way, the pair are to be assigned their first mission for the government. Rockwell wants Cooper to continue working as the duo’s training coordinator and assigns Adrian Sammish in charge with Cap’s field operations. As John and Lemar hit the showers, they wonder what their first mission is going to be. John assumes that it is going to be something easy for his first public outing as Captain America.

Meanwhile, somewhere in the Southeastern United States, an extremist group called the Watchdogs have blown up an adult video store because they believe that pornography is an affront to American values. The owner of the shop tries to shoot at the Watchdogs, but they execute him on the spot. Some are uneasy with their leader’s willingness to kill in order to make their message heard, but they choose not to say anything for fear of reprisals from the rest of the group. After the dead shop owner is tossed into the fire, the Watchdogs take off before the authorities arrive.

This act of domestic terrorism gets the attention of the federal government, and the next day the Commission briefs John and Lemar on the Watchdogs. Learning that the group is against pornography, sex education, and abortion, John is surprised to find that this group shares many of his opinions. Even more surprising, they are being sent to John’s hometown of Custer’s Grove, Georgia. Their orders are to infiltrate the group and catch them in illegal acts so the government can shut them down. This doesn’t sit very well with John, because this mission is literally close to home.

The following day, John and Lemar arrive in Custer’s Grove. While Lemar goes to place a classified ad local paper, John goes on a fact finding mission in town. He goes to the local barber shop, owned by an old friend Harold.[2] While getting his hair cut, John says that he has come back home because he couldn’t fit in with the morally dubious city life in California, hoping that saying so will get word back to the Watchdogs so they attempt to recruit him. When he returns to his hotel room that evening Lemar tells him that their plans are a go, although he had some trouble placing the ad because the locals don’t take kindly to black people.

The ad in question is a open call for women who want to pose nude in a magazine, in the hopes that the lurid nature of the job will draw out the Watchdogs. When John stops by the next day he is surprised by the number of women who have lined up for the job. He is even more shocked to find his old high school sweetheart among the women applying for the job. Still, John continues with his act, accusing Lemar of trying to corrupt the women and attacks him. The brawl lands them both in the country jail, but word eventually gets to the Watchdogs and they post John’s bail. John is surprised to learn that the guy who bailed him out is his old friend, Harold, who tells him that the Watchdogs want to meet with him. Meeting with the group’s leader at a local men’s club, John is told that they want him to join.

He agrees to meet for initiation on Thursday night and he agrees to be there. That evening, John is brought to a swearing in ceremony. He worries that joining the Watchdog’s could compromise his secret identity as Captain America. He also finds himself divided because despite their violent acts, John agrees with everything the Watchdog’s stand for. He finds it surreal when they swear him in as a member, as it is bizarrely similar to when he was sworn in as Captain America just days earlier. He is then told that his first mission will be to help burn down a local library that has refused to remove a number of books the Watchdog’s find offensive. However, before they do this, they want John to finish their initiation by helping them hang Lemar from a tree.

John once again finds himself struggling with how to react to the situation and ultimately decides that this is all a test of his loyalty to the government. Wanting to do the job right, he continues the charade and Lemar is strung up from the tree. John hopes that Lemar’s enhanced strength can help him survive the hanging. As he struggles to figure out his next move, John gets his chance to act when the leader of the Watchdogs dismisses the rest of the group to go burn down the library since they all have day jobs to do in the morning. John uses this opportunity to slip away and change into Captain America. He easily trounces the Watchdogs, preventing them from burning down the building and hands them over to the authorities. Racing back to the field where he left Lemar, he is relieved to see that his partner managed to free himself and take out the two Watchdogs that were trying to kill him.

In the aftermath of this incident, John thinks this entire test stank and privately wonders if the reason why the original Captain America quit was because he couldn’t trust his government.

Recurring Characters

Captain America, Bucky, Watchdogs, The Commission (Valerie Cooper, Henry Gyrich, Douglas Rockwell, Adrian Sammish, Lewis Haywerth),

Continuity Notes

  1. The original Captain America, Steve Rogers, was given an ultimatum in Captain America #332: Become a government agent or give up being Captain America. Steve chose the latter and John was given the role in the following issue. This will remain the status quo until Captain America #350.

  2. The Watchdog’s profile in Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe A-Z Update #1 reveals that Harold’s last name is Simmons.

Topical References

  • The magazine photoshoot is offering $200 for the spread. Adjusting for inflation this would be $486.95 in 2021 money.

Captain America #334

Captain America #334

Captain America #336

Captain America #336