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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #11

Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #11

I Hate a Mystery Part One

After Peter Parker revealed his true identity to the public,[1] France Klum — the newest Mysterio — decides that this will only make it easier for him to track down the wall-crawler and avenge his brother.[2] As he prepares to face Spider-Man, he is unaware that he is being observed by someone else who thinks Spider-Man will be fortunate if Mysterio doesn’t talk him to death first.[3]

That morning, Peter Parker has to work his way through protestors and reporters who have arrived outside Midtown High following the public announcement that he was Spider-Man. Peter quickly gets fed up and leaps past the mob and climb up the roof of the school. He can’t believe how ridiculous things have gotten and can’t stand it. Although Tony Stark insists that things will eventually die down, Peter can’t help but think about how Mary Jane and Aunt May are basically trapped in Stark Towers and is starting to think that revealing his identity to the public might have been a bad idea after all. Once he is in the hallways, he notices that one of his students has a black eye. The boy tells him that he got it the day before playing dodge ball in gym class. Peter can relate to Brad’s plight as he was often targeted by bullies playing dodgeball in the gym. He decides to go down to the gym office and have another talk with Flash Thompson, the new gym teacher, about the kids in his class playing too rough with others.

However, Peter’s public revelation hasn’t changed Flash’s bad attitude toward him. Flash thinks that Peter is running a scam. Peter ignores this and tells him to have the kids cool it with the dodgeball. By this point, students are coming into the gym. Seeing an opportunity to humiliate “Puny Parker”, Flash tells Peter that it’s just a game and decides to challenge Peter since he is always preaching to the kids to stand up to bullies. Peter warns Flash that it’s a bad idea, but Thompson pushes the issue. When Flash throws the ball, Peter remembers how Flash used to humiliate him all the time in gym class when they were a kid. He then uses his spider agility to leap up and kick the dodge ball into Flash’s face so hard he’s knocked out cold. When he comes around Principal Harrington has brought Miss Arrow the new nurse to give him a once over. He’s taken away by Miss Arrow’s beauty and brushes off the seriousness of his injuries even though Peter managed to give him two black eyes and a broken nose. When Peter later calls Mary Jane to tell her what happened, she thinks Peter was acting stupid. However, when Aunt May hears that he broke Flash Thompson’s nose, May figures Flash did something to deserve it.[4] Getting serious for a moment, Peter tells Mary Jane that with all of the press and protestors outside, Peter is thinking he might have to give up his teaching job.[5] He then lets Mary Jane go as he is about to have a meeting with Principal Harrington.

Harrington isn't concerned about the earlier incident with Flash but wants to talk about the Spider-Man situation. He tells Peter that even though parents are pressuring him to fire Peter. However, he’s a fan of Spider-Man and has even more respect for Peter doing the right thing over the Super-Human Registration Act and promises he’ll support Peter no matter how much pressure. Despite this vow, Harrington is relieved when Peter tells him that he’s thinking about resigning. However, Peter intends on finishing the day and Harrington tells him that he’s more than welcome if he changes his mind. When Peter tells his students they are disappointed. Brad wonders why they should even bother with their projects if Peter isn’t going to be around to grade them. Peter tries to explain the very complicated details of his life when suddenly his spider-sense begins going off. That’s when one of the students notices that it’s suddenly gotten dark outside. While in the nurse’s office, Miss Arrow is still treating Flash’s black eyes while he’s trying to get to know more about her. She tells him that her full name is simply “Arrow” because her parents were hippies. However, Flash’s flirtations are cut short when he also notices that it’s grown dark outside. This is because a huge cloud of mist has appeared outside, knocking out everyone outside.

That’s when Mysterio comes onto the intercom and tells everyone that the school has been rigged with boobytraps — the windows having also been wired with explosives to prevent easy escapes — and tells them the only way out is to go out the front door. When the students in Peter’s class begin wondering what they are going to do, Peter has already changed into his Spider-Man costume and tells his students to follow him and he’ll get them out safely. As Spider-Man tries to lead the kids out he turns around and discovers that they have vanished. The kids, on the other hand, were following Spider-Man when the web-slinger vanished from sight. Mysterio then appears before them briefly to frighten the students. They end up running for it and find Flash and Miss Arrow.

By this point, Mysterio has retreated to the school auditorium where he gloats over the fact that he rigged the school with various tricks to orchestrate his scheme. That’s when the room begins filling with a red mist created by someone who has grown sick of listening to Mysterio drone on and on. When Mysterio asks whose out there, the mist clears revealing another man dressed in a Mysterio costume. This other Mysterio says that Klum needs to learn the importance of proper timing if he seeks to become the new Mysterio.[6]

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Mysterio (Klum), Mysterio (Berkhart), Mysterio (Beck), Flash Thompson, “Miss Arrow”, Roger Harrington, Mary Jane Watson, Aunt May

Continuity Notes

  1. Peter Parker publicly revealed that he was Spider-Man in Civil War #2 to show his solidarity for the Super-Human Registration Act.

  2. It’s weird that Francis Klum is attempting to avenge what Spider-Man did to his brother because the web-slinger didn’t do anything to Garrison Klum. Per Spider-Man/Black Cat: The Evil That Men Do, Frances killed Garrison himself by teleporting into his body while he was attempting to rape the Black Cat. The Klum profile in Spider-Man: Back in Black Handbook states that Frances eventually came to blame Spider-Man and the Black Cat for the death of his brother, without any further details. See below for my take on all this.

  3. As revealed next issue, the man watching Frances Klum is another would-be the successor of the Mysterio name, Daniel Burkhart.

  4. There are a number of references here to how Flash has forgotten that he and Peter are friends. Flash was involved in a car accident that put him in a catatonic state for a while circa Peter Parker: Spider-Man #44-47. He snapped out of it in Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #3. However, the brain damage Flash suffered made him forget chunks of his past following high school, particularly that he stopped bullying Peter and became close friends with Parker.

  5. Mary Jane calls Peter her husband here. However, not long after this, their marriage is erased from existence by Mephisto in Amazing Spider-Man #545. In the new timeline, Mary Jane would identify Peter as his fianceé instead of her husband.

  6. Next issue reveals that this Mysterio is indeed Quentin Beck, the original Mysterio.

Topical References

  • The subject on Peter’s blackboard is “Global Warming”, this should be considered a topical reference as the term has been replaced with “Climate Change” as that is a more accurate term to describe humanity’s effect on climate.

Francis Klum’s Motivation

In this story, Frances Klum decides to go after Spider-Man to avenge what the wall-crawler did to his brother, Garrison. As you read above, Frances actually killed Garrison himself as he was attempting to rape the Black Cat. That’s one hell of a stretch to blame that on Spider-Man. The limited series Spider-Man/Black Cat: The Evil That Men Do, written by Kevin Smith, was notoriously behind schedule. The first three issues were published in 2002, the rest of the series was not published until early 2006.

I figure David wanted to do a Mysterio story and was told there were now three different Mysterios and wrote the story about all three with what information that was readily available at the time. Given the time it takes stories to go from being written to being published, I doubt that the complete final three issues of Kevin Smith’s story were available to Peter David when he penned this story. I’m assuming that Peter only had the basic plots when he was writing as the revelation that Francis killed his brother wasn’t revealed until the later issues of Kevin Smith’s story. The fact that the conclusion of Evil that Men Do and this story were a few months apart suggests to me that David’s was submitted prior to the Kevin Smith’s full story was ever submitted, let alone published.

So how do you explain this goof up? Frances was experimented by Nazi scientists and then molested by his brother, which would make him a prime candidate for PTSD. One symptom of PTSD is to create false memories as a method of dealing with trauma. Perhaps Klum had created a false narrative in his mind where he convinced himself that Spider-Man was involved in the death of his brother so he wouldn’t have to deal with the reality, that he killed his brother himself.

Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #10

Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #10

Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #12

Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #12