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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Iron Man #305

Iron Man #305

Crash & Burn Part 5: Green Politics

Due to a leak to the media, Stark Enterprises has gotten into a lot of hot water over the criminal past of its newest subsidiary, Stane International.[1] Tony Stark discovered that the company was also involved in the “Gamma-Gate” scandal, and left a gamma bomb facility mothballed.[2] As Iron Man, Tony has come to the facility not just to shut it down, but to prevent the Hulk from showing up and wrecking the place and potentially doing more harm than good.[3]

Although Tony has head that the Hulk has changed recently, he refuses to believe that this is a disaster waiting to happen.[4] When the Hulk does arrive, Iron Man is waiting for him in his new suit of Hulkbuster armor. The Hulk wants to talk it out but when he says he wants to dismantle the facility brick-by-brick, Iron Man lashes out at him.

Back at Stark Enterprises, Abe Zimmer and Bethany Cabe have been assigned the task of hunting down Philip Grant, the hacker responsible for breaking into the company computers and leaking information to the media. Abe insists on tagging along since he helped track down who was responsible. Beth says it might be dangerous but it takes Abe’s girlfriend, Erica Sondheim to demand he stay behind. Pulling out her gun, Bethany assures them that as head of security for Stark Enterprises, she is more than capable of handling this alone.

While in Nevada, the battle between Iron Man and the Hulk rages on. It comes to an abrupt end when Tony says that he was willing to reason with the Hulk and the Hulk agrees with him. As it turned out, the Hulk wasn’t here looking for a fight but for a peaceful solution to the problem. This makes Tony realize that by acting before thinking he became the very threat that he was worried about facing from the Hulk. Apologizing for his unprovoked attack, Iron Man asks when the Hulk would like to have the facility destroyed. When Banner says as soon as possible the pair work together to demolish the facility by themselves.

With the building demolished, the Hulk thanks Iron Man for his help then reveals that he knows that he is secretly Tony Stark. Banner has some advice, telling Tony that all his recent conflicts were viewed in terms of zero-sum games, the same kind of mentality that led to the advent of the gamma bomb in the first place. He tells Stark society cannot afford people thinking in that kind of mentality anymore and that not all battles should be fought in armor. He also suggests that Tony switch to decaf before bounding away.

As Iron Man heads back to home base, he is embarrassed by being taught a lesson by the Hulk, but admits that he had the right idea. As soon as he is back at Stark Enterprises, Tony holds a board meeting with upper management and gives a shocking decision: As of that moment, Stark Enterprises is being shut down.

Recurring Characters

Iron Man, Hulk, Abe Zimmer, Erica Sondheim, Bethany Cabe

Continuity Notes

  1. This whole mess stems from Stane International’s shady business dealings. Stane International was previously Stark International, Tony’s family business. It was stolen away from him by Obadiah Stane during a hostile take over in Iron Man #173 and renamed after himself. After Obadiah’s death in Iron Man #200, the company eventually ended up in the hands of Justin Hammer who sold it back to Tony for a dollar in Iron Man #283. During its operations Stane International got involved in a lot of shady business that just came to public attention in Iron Man #300.

  2. As seen in Incredible Hulk #340-346, the government was revealed to had secretly built a bunch of gamma bombs. These bombs were launched on Middletown, Arizona by the Leader causing countless deaths and mutating the survivors into gamma mutates.

  3. The Hulk’s dislike of gamma bombs is obvious considering his alter ego, Bruce Banner, was the first victim of such a weapon way back in Incredible Hulk #1.

  4. This “change” in the Hulk was the result of Bruce Banner undergoing psycho therapy to treat we warring personalities in his mind. This created a new persona for the Hulk, one that was a fusion of Banner, the savage green Hulk, and the sinister grey Hulk. This new Hulk, dubbed the Professor, first appeared in Incredible Hulk #377. This persona will remain the Hulk’s status quo until Incredible Hulk #425.

The Hacker Crackdown

Over the past several days, Bethany Cabe has been on the trail of the hacker known as Philip Grant. This brought her through a series of bars where the hacker hangs out, each more seedy than the last. Her latest lead has brought her to a filthy establishment called Tech Noir. Here, she discovers that not only is Grant aware that she is hunting him down, but also hired some thugs to deal with her. Unfortunately, they are no match for her in hand-to-hand combat and she easily trounces them. She then begins breaking the fingers of one of her attackers until he squeals the location of Grant.

Soon, she barges into Phil’s apartment and literally catches him with his pants down. Telling him to get dressed and come with her right away. She explains that she is taking him to Stark Enterprises and warns him that if he thinks that she is bad, her boss is going to be even worse!

Recurring Characters

Bethany Cabe, Philip Grant

Topical References

  • Phil Grant’s computer is depicted as have a CRT monitor display. This should be considered a topical reference as this is a topical reference.

Iron Man #304

Iron Man #304

Iron Man #306

Iron Man #306