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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Iron Man #300

Iron Man #300

Appetite for Destruction

As Ultimo is on the rampage in the town of Futura, California, Iron Man is out of commission.[1] In order to deal with this threat Jim Rhodes — aka War Machine — has been called in to help. This is a role that he has reluctantly accepted as he is still angry at Tony for manipulating him into taking charge of Stark Enterprises when the world believed he had died.[2] To help deal with this threat, Jim has called on some of Tony’s closest friends and allies including Happy Hogan, Eddie March, Bethany Cabe, Michael O’Brien, and Carl Walker. He has called upon them because they have either used Iron Man armor in the past, used armors of their own design, or are capable fighters.[3]

When everyone arrives, Jim takes them down to one of Stark’s storage facilities. There, Abe Zimmer and a team of Stark employees have been working tirelessly to get a number of older suits of Iron Man armor back in working condition so they can be worn in battle against Ultimo.[4] With the everything ready to go, everyone suits up in a different suit of armor and heads off to battle Ultimo with War Machine leading the charge.

Meanwhile, Veronica Benning has heard about Tony’s sudden coma and has come back to be by his side. She apologizes to Tony for walking out on him and decides to finally tell him how she feels about him in the hopes it will help him wake up.[5]

Tony has been kept on life support since his artificial nervous system suffered a complete collapse. His mind has since been thrown deep into a nightmare where he is reliving some of the most painful moments of his life.[6] Tony is plunged deeper and deeper into his mind until he is dragged into his subconscious by mechanical tendrils. There he is confronted by a technorganic monstrosity that has the face of his father, Howard Stark.[7] As the voice of his “father” taunts him for being weak, Tony comes to realize that all of his problems in life stem from generational trauma. Summoning up courage, Tony wills a suit of protective armor around himself to fight back against the technological abomination that exists in his mind.

In the waking world, Veronica explains that the reason she ran away from a relationship with Tony was more than just the ethical problems from being his physio-therapist. She explains how she got married to a man named Craig when she was just 19 years old. The two were young and carefree until the day they were in a serious car accident. Craig died and Veronica spent weeks in the hospital recovering. After undergoing physio-therapy to regain her own mobility she made two vows to herself: That she would become a physio-therapist herself and to close off her heart to anyone who she might be romantically interested in so she would never have to suffer the hurt of a personal loss again. She came back because she decided that she doesn’t want her fears controlling her life anymore. By this time, Tony has destroyed the manifestation of all his hang ups and finally wakes up from his coma as Veronica is saying she will reconsider a romantic relationship if he just gets up. Miraculously, not only does Tony wake up, but he sits up from his bed under his own power for the first time in months. However, he has no time to celebrate because lives an in danger and he must act.

By this time, the so-called Iron Legion has intercepted Ultimo and engaged the giant robot in battle. The battle isn’t going very well because Ultimo quickly begins to adapt and shrug off their attacks. Both Eddie March and Carl Walker are injured and are forced to pull back. Carl is almost killed when his suit is heated to the point where it is melting. He narrowly manages to eject before it explodes. This leaves Jim, Happy, Bethany, and Mike as the only ones left to try and stop the monster’s rampage. When Happy is almost hurt as well, Jim decides to pull everyone back because approaching Ultimo like Tony Stark would isn’t working. Rhodes decides to take a different approach to the matter. He tells Happy to get Carl and Eddie to a hospital and sends Beth and Mike ahead to Futura to begin evacuating people while he keeps Ultimo pre-occupied. Beth, however, refuses to let Jim go alone and he agrees to let her tag along.

Back at Stark Enterprises, Tony returns to his lab and is informed by his HOMER — his AI computer — that his latest suit of Iron Man armor is now complete. Tony then pushes himself to stand up out of his hover chair under his own power and begins the slow process of putting the new suit of armor on.[8] After attaching modular weapons and devices that will be useful in the battle ahead, Tony Stark takes to the air as Iron Man once more. He arrives just in time to help War Machine and Bethany get away from Ultimo. Even with his newest armor, Ultimo still proves to be a challenge with Stark. However, this time he is coming at the creature more prepared than last time. Ultimately, he is able to attach an electro-magnetic lightning rod which causes Ultimo to be struck by lightning. The jolt of electricity is so powerful that it overloads the behemoth’s computer systems causing it to shut down and collapse to the ground. Watching the battle, War Machine can tell that this is really Tony Stark, not some remotely piloted machine, and curses Tony for having more live than a cat.

Meanwhile, Iron Man uses his on board scanners on Ultimo and discovers the robot is thousands of years old and made of materials alien to Earth. Realizing that the Mandarin had lied about creating Ultimo years earlier, Iron Man is left to wonder where the robot came from and what its original purpose was supposed to be.[9] His investigation is interrupted when War Machine decks him hard enough to knock Tony over. Jim tells Tony that this is the last time he is coming to bail him out. Saying the next time they come calling he’ll make Tony wish he was ever born. With that, War Machine takes off. Bethany reminds Tony that Jim is an idealist that expects a lot from himself and the world. She, on the other hand, has a better grasp on the necessities of life. Impressed by her work, Tony offers Bethany a job working for him. She tells him that depends on what the Stark Enterprise medical plan is like.

Shortly, Tony Stark has returned to his apartment to find Veronica waiting for him. She is surprised to see him walking and tells him to take it easy. Cheekily, he tells her that they should have further discussion over this in the bedroom, a suggestion Veronica doesn’t object to.

Elsewhere in the city, Marcy Pearson has just secured the services of hacker Philip Grant to break into the Stark Enterprises database. After hours of work, Grant manages to get past the electronic security and get into Stark’s computer network. Pleased, Marcy tells him to dredge up every bit of dirt on the company that he can find and e-mail it all to the media. Soon, the top story in the media is regarding allegations that Stark Enterprises is engaged in fraud, corruption, and other illegal activities. This is viewed by a machine hidden in some undisclosed location. Examining the news feeds it begins computing the likelihood that Stark Enterprises will be attacked by the likes of Deathlok, Venom, the New Warriors, and the Hulk. It is pleased that these predictions are all between 89 and 100%, all according to plan.[10]

Recurring Characters

Iron Man, War Machine, Happy Hogan, Eddie March, Bethany Cabe, Michael O’Brien, Carl Walker, Ultimo, Abe Zimmer, Erica Sondheim, Veronica Benning, Marcy Pearson, Philip Grant, HOMER, VORTEX (unidentified)

Continuity Notes

  1. Long story short: Tony was shot in the spine and crippled. He had an experimental bio-chip implanted there. It was hacked and his nervous system ruined by enemies. He then went into cryo-stasis for a time until a cure could be fashioned. He was thawed out but lacks full mobility at this time. See Iron Man #242, 248, 258-266, 284 and 289 for the harrowing drama. Last issue, Tony’s remote armor was destroyed causing feedback that put him in a coma.

  2. Jim was CEO of SE from issue #284 to 289. When he discovered that Tony faked his death and kept it a secret even from him, he quit on the spot and has been angry at Tony ever since.

  3. All of these individuals were in town for a welcome back party thrown for Tony in Iron Man #296. There are three reasons why he is calling on most of these people. They have either worn the Iron Man armor themselves, such as Happy (Tales of Suspense #84-85) and Eddie (Iron Man #21-22), worn their own suits of armor such as Michael (as the Guardsman in Iron Man #96-99, he also wore Tony’s armor in Iron Man #100), Carl Walker (as Force in Sub-Mariner #66-69 and Iron Man #140-141, and 222-225). Lastly, he is colling on Bethany Cabe due to her long career as a bodyguard, as first seen in Iron Man #117.

  4. The Iron Man armors in use here are Models 1 (Tales of Suspense #39), 2 (Tales of Suspense #48), 4 (Iron Man #85), 8 (Iron Man #200), 9 (Iron Man #231)

  5. Veronica Benning was hired to be Tony’s physio-therapist in Iron Man #292. Over time she began developing feelings for him. Seeing this as an ethical problem, she quit last issue and was going to leave for New York City.

  6. This single panel is crammed full visuals and dialogue from across the entire Iron Man run up to this point. They include:

    • “I can feel the pressure! My time is running out. We must work faster!” which accompanies images of Tony getting caught in an explosion and the first suit of Iron Man armor. These all come from Tales of Suspense #39.

    • “I may not survive the coming battle. But if I die — let it be with honor! So long as I breath, I won’t accept defeat!” I don’t recall where this one comes from, if you know let me know in an e-mail. Judging from the overly dramatic tone, it’s probably from Stan Lee’s run on the book.

    • “I’ll keep on battling you until I’ve beaten you again” I also don’t recall where this one comes from. It’s so generic too, so good luck if you find it.

    • “But what a price — a price that Marianne and I — will never stop paying!” Again, this isn’t something I could pin down. It is certainly from a period where Tony was dating Marianne Rodgers between Iron Man #36-52.

    • “Beth? Please. Help Me.” This one is easy. This was when Tony asked Bethany Cabe to help him kick his drinking problem in Iron Man #128.

    • There are images of Iron Man’s various armors. Such as the model 2 (Tales of Suspense #48), and 5 (Iron Man #142).

    • Scene’s from Tony’s second alcoholic bender which took place from Iron Man #167-182.

    • The first Armor Wars from Iron Man #225-232 and Captain America #340.

    • The Dragon Seed Saga from Iron Man #272-275.

    • We are shown images of Tony’s abusive childhood that were first glimpsed at in Iron Man #285-288.

    • We also see an image of the Mandarin as he first appeared in Tales of Suspense #50.

    • Iron Man’s first battle with Whiplash from Tales of Suspense #97-99, Iron Man and the Sub-Mariner #1, and Iron Man #1.

    • The Melter in his second costume circa Tales of Suspense #89.

    • Ultimo as it first appeared in Tales of Suspense #76.

    • We also see one of the incarnations of the Freak. Likely from the first time Happy Hogan was transformed into this monster in Tales of Suspense #74-75.

  7. Howard Stark is identified here as Tony’s biological father. However, years later, it is revealed that this is not the case. Tony was, in fact, adopted. See Iron Man (vol. 5) #17 and International Iron Man #6-7 for the details on that.

  8. Tony recounts how he was able to move under his own power when there was less at stake. He is talking about forcing himself to walk a little bit in Iron Man #298.

  9. The Mandarin previously claimed that he created Ultimo back in Tales of Suspense #76-77. Iron Man (vol. 3) #24 reveals that Ultimo came from outer space. The Mandarin merely found the massive robot and used it to his own ends as many of the Mandarin’s claims have turned out to be utter bullshit. It’s origins and intended purpose (as of this writing in August, 2022) is still shrouded in mystery. It has been supposed that Ultimo was the last of many such creations in Iron Man (vol. 6) #10.

  10. This machine is an artificial intelligence called VORTEX that has been attacking Stark Enterprises since Iron Man #287. It’s later revealed that this was a pre-emptive strike for self-preservation as explained in Iron Man #307. Its predictions that the listed heroes will attack SE is absolutely correct as we’ll discover over the course of issues #301-306.

Topical References

  • Veronica states that when she got married at 19 she and her husband drove around in a beat up old 1974 Chevy.

  • HOMER refers to this new suit of Iron Man armor as the “1994 model”, the year mentioned here should be considered topical as it is relative to the date of publication.

Stark Enterprises Internal Correspondence

Tony Stark and Bambi Arbogast are going over the draft copy of their annual internal report. Tony notes that they’ll have to remove all reference to Jim Rhodes from the document and asks that they add a page for the new Physical Therapy division.

What follows are corporate profiles Vice President and Chief Operating Officer Felix Alvarez,[1] Executive Assistant to the CEO Bambi Arbogast,[2] Engineering Division Director Abe Zimmer,[3] Stark Enterprises’ artificial intelligence system HOMER, Medical Division Director Erica Sondheim, Physical Therapy Specialist Veronica Benning, Personal Assistant to the CEO Happy Hogan,[4] and a last minute addition naming Bethany Cabe as Director of Corporate Security.

Continuity Notes

  1. Adjusting for the Sliding Timescale (see below), Felix has been working at Stark Enterprises since roughly around the time of its inception circa Iron Man #217. However, he was not actually seen until Iron Man #238

  2. It is stated here that Bambi worked at Stark International before working for Stark Enterprises. She first appeared as Tony’s Admin Assistant in Iron Man #118. Stark International was later bought by Obadiah Stane during a hostile take over in Iron Man #173. Bambi quit in the following issue. When Tony started up Stark Enterprises she returned to her old job for Tony in Iron Man #222.

  3. It is stated here that Zimmer started to work for Stark Enterprises as the company aquired Accutech, the company that Zimmer previously worked for. See Iron Man #219.

  4. It is stated here that Hogan worked for Stark Industries back in the day as Tony’s chauffeur. Happy held this job from Tales of Suspense #45 until he and Pepper Potts got married and left SI in Tales of Suspense #91. It states here that prior to being hired back on at SE (that happened in issue #297) Happy was a boxing promoter, we saw this in Iron Man #210.

Topical References

  • References to this being the 1994 internal report should be considered topical as the year is relative to the date of publication.

  • It is stated that Felix Alvarez joined Stark Enterprises in 1986. Since it is stated that Felix joined Stark Enterprises and not its predecessor Stark Industries/International, modern readers should apply the logic of the Sliding Timescale. As such the year used here is in reference relative to the publication date. Stark Enterprises first appeared in Iron Man #217, published in April, 1987. As such, modern readers should ignore the date and presume the Felix has been operating at SE since its inception, putting his employment as happening roughly two years prior to this story.

  • It is stated that Bambi Arbogast served in the Mobile Army Surgical Hospital during the Vietnam War. Another topical reference. Her profile in the All-New Iron Manual #1 states that she served in the military but no longer references a specific conflict. Post History of the Marvel Universe #2, one could assume she served during the fictional Sin-Cong Conflict.

  • On the other hand, the statement that Bambi moved to Long Island “five years ago” would be considered factual as it doesn’t make reference to a specific date.

  • In Abe Zimmer’s profile it is stated that he worked at MIT in the 1970s alongside noted computer scientist Marvin Minsky. This should be considered a topical reference not only because the date but also because Minsky is a real world person. This is especially true since Minsky died in 2016. Modern readers should interpret this to mean that Abe worked at MIT 20 years earlier and worked with notable experts in the computer sciences, just not somebody who exists in real life.

Iron Man #299

Iron Man #299

Iron Man #301

Iron Man #301