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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Iron Man Annual #12

Iron Man Annual #12

Subterranean Wars Part 4: Homecoming

This story is continued from Namor the Sub-Mariner Annual #1…

Iron Man is running a training session to make sure his armor is at peak efficiency. Running things from the control room is Tony Stark’s long time friend, Jim Rhodes. Things go south when there is an overload that wrecks the control room. Iron Man quickly digs Jim out of the wreckage and is relieved to see his friend is relatively unharmed. As they head back up to Tony’s private office security calls Tony to respond to an emergency situation.

Quickly changing out of his armor, Tony goes to see what the commotion is. He soon learns that security has captured an elderly woman who tried to sneak past security. In order to determine why, Tony decides to pour on the Stark charm to get answers. However, when the old woman removes her robe Tony instantly recognizes her despite her old age. The woman is Kala, the former queen of the subterranean realm known as the Netherworld. Tony doesn’t see her as a threat and dismisses security so the pair can talk in private.

Once they are alone, Kala reminisces on her previous encounter with Stark. This was early on in Iron Man’s career when she started kidnapping surface world scientists to assist in building weapons to invade the surface world. Tony, as Iron Man, managed to defeat Kala by bringing her to the surface where she realized — to her horror — that she would rapidly age above ground. Returning Kala to her kingdom restored her youth and Iron Man convinced her to marry Baxu, her loyal general.[1] Kala then explains that a lot had changed since their last encounter. Eventually, Baxu died and a few years later she ended up joining forces with the Mole Man to consolidate power among the various underground kingdoms. In reality, she was only pretending to love the Mole Man, but ultimately betrayed him to Tyrannus, another underworld ruler. However, Tyrannus ultimately betrayed her as well and he was later stopped by the Fantastic Four.[2]

Seeking to regain access to the Tyrannus’ fountain of youth — which was now under the control of the Mole Man — Kala challenged the Mole Man in a duel by proxy. They then manipulated the Hulk and Spider-Man into fighting each other. However, this plan backfired when the pair realized they were being tricked into fighting one another and retaliated.[3] When Kala’s subjects — the Lava Men — recovered her she had rapidly aged once more. Wanting to be young again, she threw herself at the mercy of the Mole Man, pleading with him to give her access to the Fountain of Youth. The Mole Man then revealed that the fountain had gone dry and, surprisingly, welcomed her back as his consort able to see past her lost beauty.

Tony finds this all very interesting, but points out that the Mole Man has fought many surface heroes since then and none of them heard about Kala hooking up with him.[4] Kala explains that he quickly forgot about her. She also explains why she came seeking Iron Man’s help: The Mole Man and Tyrannus have united to prevent an army of Deviant Mutates from conquering their domains. Deciding that her beloved needs as much help as possible, Kala sneaked up to the surface to seek out her old enemy for help.[5]

Jim Rhodes doesn’t buy any of this, but Tony had received word from the Avengers back east about an incident involving the Subterraneans and Deviants that spilled into Times Square. Suddenly, the Stark Enterprises is struck by an earthquake caused by the Outcasts — deformed freaks with super-human powers that are loyal to the Mole Man — who have come to recover Kala and force her to return to the kingdom. While Stark security comes to deal with this threat, Tony slips away so he can change into Iron Man and try to rescue Kala from her captors. In the ensuing battle, Iron Man is able to take out Boulder and Water Witch, but not before his armor sustains damage while Digger and Landslide escape back into the tunnel with Kala. Unable to stop to make repairs to his suit, Iron Man heads down into the tunnels after them.

Meanwhile, Digger and Landslide are taking Kala deep underground and explain that they have captured her in the hopes that she can convince the citizens of the Netherworld to join in the fight against the Deviant Mutates that are threatening the other underground societies. Kala explains that she is in exile as her people blamed her for the death of her former husband, Baxu. Despite this, the Outcasts continue to bring Kala to her former home as they are just following orders. Sure enough, when they arrive outside the Netherworld, they are confronted by the guards who recognize Kala and try to kill her. That’s when Iron Man arrives on the scene and comes to her defense. In the ensuing battle, Landslide’s powers cause destabilizes the area, threatening to destroy the Netherworld city. Iron Man acts quickly, using his repulsors to seal cracks in the ground and ceiling over the cavern, saving countless lives.

In the aftermath of the battle, Kala has had her youth restored due to the technology that sustains the Netherworld. Surprisingly, its people have also begun to bow down to Kala, preferring her leadership over facing her wraith. However, Kala refuses to lead as she wants to save her beloved Mole Man and implores Iron Man take take her to him, even if it means losing the youth she has just recently regained.

… This story continues in Avengers West Coast Annual #6

Recurring Characters

Iron Man, Kala, Outcasts (Boulder, Digger, Landslide, Water Witch), Jim Rhodes

Continuity Notes

  1. Iron Man’s first encounter with Kala took place way back in Tales of Suspense #43.

  2. Kala’s back stabbing scheme against the Mole Man for Tyrannus and the battle with the FF took place in Fantastic Four #127-128.

  3. Kala and Mole Man’s battle-by-proxy involving Spider-Man, the Hulk, and (bizarrely) the Olympics took place in Marvel Treasury Edition #25.

  4. Tony’s assessment isn’t wrong, prior to the Subterranean Wars, the Mole Man was last seen in the company of Kala in Rom #28. Since then the Mole Man has been active in Power Man and Iron Fist #85, Marvel Two-In-One #96, Fantastic Four #263-264, Marvel 1985 #1-6, Secret Wars II #6-7, Fantastic Four #296, 313, 329, Avengers West Coast #54, Fantastic Four #347-349, and Spider-Man/Fantastic Four #3.

  5. Kala was seen fleeing Subterranea to seek out Iron Man in Avengers Annual #20.

Tony Stark, The Invincible Iron Man

An abridged re-telling of Iron Man’s origins: Wealthy industrialist Tony Stark was seriously injured in an explosion while on a business trip to Southeast Asia. Captured by Wong Chu, Stark was forced to build super-weapons for the warlord alongside long lost scientist Ho Yinsen. Instead, they built the original suit of Iron Man armor to keep the shrapnel from the bomb from reaching his heart. Stark freed himself from captivity and has dedicated his life to fighting evil as Iron Man.

Recurring Characters

Iron Man, Ho Yinsen, Wong Chu

Continuity Notes

  1. This story tells an abridged version of Iron Man’s origins taking elements from the original tale told in Tales of Suspense #39 with some of the changes made in the more recent retelling in Iron Man #267-268.

Construction Complete

Late at night at the Stark Enterprises facility, something hacks into the computers and begins remotely accessing the assembly lines. The machines build a brand new body for the artificial intelligence known as Quasimodo who had been trapped in cyberspace for months after an encounter with the Vision.[1] Finally free, Quasimodo then goes on a rampage across the Stark Enterprises facility.

Luckily, Tony Stark is working late that evening and when the alarms go off he is there to confront Quasimodo as Iron Man.[2] As they fight, Quasimodo explains the torment of being trapped in cyberspace without a body. At first appears that the android might win the battle, but in reality, Iron Man was busy hacking into Quasimodo’s computer system and uses this access to incapacitate the villain. Immobilized once more, Quasimodo pleads with Iron Man to not make his body a prison. This reminds Stark of how he felt trapped in his own body when he was recently confined to a wheelchair.[3] Iron Man then agrees to help Quasimodo finally find peace.

Later, it appears that Tony Stark transferred Quasimodo’s mind into a human body so that he can finally live a normal life. However, this is all a computer simulation playing out in the android’s mind. Iron Man couldn’t risk leaving Quasimodo free and instead programed a virtual reality simulation for him to exist in so that he got his one true wish while not compromising the safety of others.[4]

Recurring Characters

Iron Man, Quasimodo,

Continuity Notes

  1. Quasimodo downloaded his mind into a computer network where he clashed with the Vision and lost in cyberspace. See Avengers #253.

  2. Iron Man recounts the time that he fought Quasimodo in the past. This was in Fantastic Four #202. (This story misattributes this fight to issue #203 of that series)

  3. Around the time of this story, Tony Stark had been paralyzed from the waist down after getting shot through the spine by a stalker named Kathy Dare, as seen in Iron Man #242. When not in his Iron Man armor, Tony was confined to a wheelchair much to his aggravation. He eventually was cured of this affliction thanks to an experimental bio-chip that was implanted in his spine in issue #248.

  4. Quasimodo won’t stay trapped for long and will get loose again in Spider-Man Team-Up #2.

The Trap

Jim Rhodes has been dispatched to Washington, DC in order to drop off the latest Stark Enterprise designs to the Patent Office. This is all part of a regular ritual for Rhodey as he loves to race to the office in a sports car in order to arrive before closing time.

However, after leaving the airport, Jim is attacked by what appears to be the Trapster. In reality, his attacker is Larry Curtiss, an employee Roxxon Corporation. He has come to steal the Stark patents in order to upstage his boss and steal his job as head of security. He had stolen some of the Trapster’s gear in order pin the crime on the known criminal an obfuscate his own involvement.

Curtiss is able to incapacitate Jim and later gum up Iron Man’s armor when he arrives. However, he is caught off guard when his boss arrives to take the patents and take the credit for himself. While they are bickering and grand standing, Iron Man manages to free himself and sends them packing.

However, with their ride wrecked and Iron Man’s jet boots incapacitated, Jim and Tony are forced to hitchhike the rest of the way. They are soon picked up by some local farmers and due to his bulk, Iron Man is forced to ride in the back of the pick-up with their crate of supplies.

Recurring Characters

Iron Man, Jim Rhodes

Metamorphosis

Electrolang Inc. has been hired by Margaret Dultry to install a high tech holding pen in the backyard of her mansion estate. Scott Lang and his assistant Danny Callahan arrive to do the installation. The pair are a little star-struck since Dultry is a well known actress, even though she hasn’t appeared in an films over the last few years. when the pair stop for their lunch break, they hear some inhuman screeching and wonder what kind of animal Dultry is going to be keeping in the pen. After lunch, Scott asks Margaret’s bodyguard if he can use one of the bathrooms. He tells Lang to use the one in the pool house, saying all the ones in the mansion are out of order.

All of this makes Scott incredibly suspicious about what’s going on there and he decides to investigate later that evening as Ant-Man. Sneaking back onto the property on a flying ant, the diminutive hero flies over the completed holding pen. Suddenly, his ant becomes panicked and flees, dropping Ant-Man inside. There he is confronted by a massive dragonfly that can also telepathically control other insects. The creature orders a swarm of bees to attack Scott uses the weapons built into his cybernetic helmet to defend himself.

The sound of battle gains the attention of Margaret Dultry who is concerned that Ant-Man might uncover her secret. She then begins flooding the enclosure, explaining that the creature he is fighting is actually Margaret’s sister, Veronica. Veronica was the criminal known as Dragonfly and she was mutated into a more insectile form upon her escape from the Stranger’s world.[1] Unable to breath under water, Dragonfly reverts back to her humanoid form, allowing Ant-Man to shrink them both down to insect size and escape through one of the flow vents. Once they are free, Ant-Man has to flee on the back of a bird in order to evade Margaret’s security forces. Knowing the hero will be back, she tells her men to get to work.

The following morning, Ant-Man arrives with the police and a search warrant. While the police are unable to find anything, Ant-Man was able to find a tiny trail of blood in the blades of grass which leads to a strange rock formation that has a hidden electronic door. Opening it up they find Dragonfly tied up and being kept with a huge shipment of drugs that her sister had been trafficking in the area.

Recurring Characters

Ant-Man, Dragonfly

Continuity Notes

  1. Dragonfly spent an extended period of time as a prisoner on the Stranger’s homeworld until she was freed by Quasar and returned to Earth. See Quasar #13-16 and 20 for details.

Topical References

  • Ant-Man quips that Margaret Dultry has bigger problems then keeping her name out of the National Enquirer. NE is a celebrity gossip publication that has been in publication since 1926. Its mention here should be considered topical as it is a real world publication.

Subterranean Wars Reading Order

Iron Man #277

Iron Man #277

Iron Man #278

Iron Man #278