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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Iron Man (vol. 3) #12

Iron Man (vol. 3) #12

Spoils of War

Defeated in battle by the new War Machine, Iron Man — aka Tony Stark — thinks back to where it all began. Tony recalls how he first built the suit to be a heavy powered suit to give him added power during a time when his central nervous system was a wreck. When Tony had to fake his death while a cure was being searched for, he left Jim in charge of Stark Enterprises and gave him the War Machine armor. His mistake, was not telling Rhodey the truth, and when he learned that Tony had faked his death he angrily quit the company. As War Machine, Jim went solo and also joined up with the Avengers West Coast for a time. Tony reflects on how Jim did a lot of good with the armor, even if he was rougher with criminals than he was. Eventually, War Machine got involved in the type of mercenary work that Jim involved himself in after his military service. It got him involved in messy political issues even though he thought he was doing right. Eventually, Jim lost the suit in a time travel adventure, replacing it with a suit of Eidolon Warware that he needed to wear to stabilize his body from the side effects of time travel. Ultimately this suit was destroyed as well, sacrificed when Rhodey purged all of Tony’s secrets from the Stark-Fujikawa computer systems.[1]

Now, the original War Machine is back, and its new owner has attacked Astrodyne, a prospective client for Stark Solution, Tony’s new company. Although he has been joined in battle by Warbird, Iron Man was easily defeated in combat due to previous injuries.[2] With Iron Man at his mercy, War Machine orders Warbird, aka Carol Danvers, to back off or else he’ll throw the hero off the edge of the Astrodyne building. While War Machine is distracted, Iron Man manages to blast himself free with his repulsor rays, allowing Warbird to punch their foe into the air as hard as she can. While Tony insists that he and Carol need to work together, Danvers reminds him that she is not part of the Avengers anymore and can’t boss her around.[3] Iron Man soon finds himself divided between trying to stop War Machine from causing more damage to the Astrodyne facility and saving lives put in danger by War Machine’s attack.

Watching all this remotely is Sunset Bain, who sent War Machine to attack Astrodyne in order to ruin the company and clear Tony Stark’s schedule so she can get Stark Solutions to work for her.[3] Bain is very amused by all this and tells War Machine if he causes even more damage, she’ll give him a bonus for a job well done. War Machine is more than happy to comply.

Also watching the battle, from Tony’s new Seattle home, is Jim Rhodes. Not only is he unhappy to see someone usurping his former War Machine identity he has an idea who this impostor really is. Deciding to investigate his suspicions, Jim grabs his coat and leaves.[5]

Back at the scene of the battle, Iron Man comes up with an idea as to how to stop War Machine. He tells Warbird to hold the fort while he goes to get what he needs. Seeing Iron Man take off, Carol thinks he’s chickening out but this is far from the truth. Iron Man then heads back to his estate where he is greeted by his employees Pepper Potts, Happy Hogan, as well as his doctor Jane Foster. Tony needs Pepper to help him get something out of storage from his California days, but Jane is furious that Tony has ignored her orders not to go out as Iron Man while his body is still healing. Stark, however, can’t just sit back and do nothing while there are lives at stake.

That’s when the doorbell rings and since everyone else is busy, Happy goes to answer it. The caller is a woman named Hannah Donleavy from the Puget Sound Neighborhood Program who has come to talk to Tony about donations he was going to make to the Beale Street Gym. When Happy tells her that Tony is busy with an emergency right now, Hannah isn’t surprised since Stark has cancelled on her three other times already. Hap apologizes but also comes to the defense of his boss, insisting that his absence is valid. Hannah doesn’t really care one way or the other and is just happy that Stark is donating money. Before she leaves, she confirms who Happy is and is delighted to meet him as she was a fan of his during his days as a boxer. Hogan is surprised that he has any fans because he considered himself a lousy fighter back in the day.[6] Regardless, Hannah asks Hap if he’d be interested in coming down to the gym some day to talk to the kids. Although he doesn’t know what a washed up pug could tell them, he agrees.

Meanwhile, the battle between Warbird and War Machine rages on. That’s when Iron Man returns to the scene with a Negator Pack, a device he once used to brick unauthorized uses of his technology that had been stolen from him.[7] Unfortunately, the Negator doesn’t work because someone wisely stripped all of the Starktech from the War Machine armor. Having completed his mission, War Machine then knocks Iron Man down and flies off. Iron Man tries to follow but blacks out and begins to fall out of the sky. Luckily, Warbird catches him and races him back to Stark’s home. There he is raced to a hospital bed for immediate treatment from Doctor Foster.

The following morning when Tony is awake, he gets a call from Sunset Bain who pretends to be sorry about the Astrodyne deal falling through and asks if he would work for her instead. Tony tells Bain that he’ll get back to her and hangs up. He knows that Sunset had something to do with the War Machine attack and gets out of bed and tries to get into his Iron Man armor to find out the truth.

In the next room, Jane, Pepper, and Happy are getting back lab results from Hank Pym back east when they suddenly hear a crash and go to investigate. They find Tony, half in his armor, collapsed on the floor. They help him up and take Stark back into the lab so Pym can give his findings directly. He tells Tony that his body’s ability to heal has been compromised for years by the energy fields generated from his armor. This has been going on for years and will kill him unless he stops being Iron Man.

That evening, Tony is looking out at the water when he is visited by Warbird who has come to check on him.[8] She has come to apologize for the way she has been acting when Tony came to her out of concern about her drinking problem. Carol now recognizes that it has become an issue and tells him that she’ll be trying to work on it in the future. She thanks him for his help and then heads off.

The following morning, under orders from his doctor, Tony is driven up to Basel Stress Clinic so he can recover in peace. Little does he know that the head of the facility, Doctor Xander Basel, is his old foe the Controller, aka Basil Sandhurst. He finds it very interesting that his latest patient is going to be none other than Tony Stark.

Recurring Characters

Iron Man, Warbird, War Machine, Sunset Bain, Controller, Happy Hogan, Pepper Potts, Jim Rhodes, Jane Foster, Hank Pym, Hannah Donleavy

Continuity Notes

  1. There is a huge exposition dump about the War Machine armor. Here are the facts:

    • Prior to building it, Tony sustained injuries to his central nervous system that left him in pretty bad shape. See Iron Man #242, 248, and 258-266 for that long tale.

    • Tony built the War Machine armor and used it between Iron Man #282 and 283, in a fight against Justin Hammer. Due to the damage to his body, Tony faked his death in the following issue. Jim took over as Iron Man and CEO of Stark Enterprises using the War Machine armor (events from issue #285 are shown here) until Tony revealed he was alive in Iron Man #289, prompting Rhodey to quit.

    • War Machine later joined the West Coast Avengers in Avengers West Coast #94. Events from issue #95 of that series are depicted here.

    • Mention is made of War Machine’s mercenary work. This was the primary premise of the first four issues of War Machine. Tony and Jim came to blows about how he was using the War Machine armor in War Machine #9 and Iron Man #310. Jim reckoning was in issue #11 of War Machine.

    • The original War Machine armor was lost in the timestream during the events of War Machine #15-17, and he obtained the Warwear in issue #18-19. Rhodey sacrificed this new armor in Tales of the Marvel Universe #1.

  2. Tony Stark got the shit beat out of him by the Espionage Elite in Iron Man (vol. 3) #8 and has not yet properly healed from his injuries. This led to his defeat at the hands of the new War Machine last issue.

  3. Carol rejoined the Avengers back in Avengers (vol. 3) #4. However, her fading powers and problem drinking affected her performance to the point where she was court-martialed. Rather than being benched, she refused to acknowledge she had a problem and rage quit in issue #7.

  4. Sunset has been trying to get Tony to work for her since Iron Man (vol. 3) #1 when he first started Stark Solutions, a consultancy firm. However, Tony has been avoiding her because the two have had a messy history. When he was much younger, Bain seduced him in order to steal secrets from Stark Industries which she later used to start up her own company. Sunset then dumped Tony when she got what she wanted. See Iron Man (vol. 3) #19 for the details.

  5. As we’ll learn in Iron Man (vol. 3) #20, the new War Machine is Jim’s old war buddy/fellow merc, Parnell Jacobs.

  6. When he first appeared in Tales of Suspense #45, Happy was already a washed up boxer. His life totally changed when he saved Tony Stark from a car crash and was offered a job as his chauffeur.

  7. The Negator Packs were famously used during the Armor Wars story arc which took place in Iron Man #225-232 and Captain America #340.

  8. Here, Carol thanks Tony for trusting her with his identity twice. The first time was in Iron Man (vol. 3) #7. However, not long after that, Stark was able to wipe out all knowledge of his secret identity from the minds of those in the know in Iron Man Annual 1998. He then re-revealed his identity to those he trusted.

Iron Man (vol. 3) #11

Iron Man (vol. 3) #11

Iron Man (vol. 3) #13

Iron Man (vol. 3) #13