64705678_10157722991506490_777492954360053760_o.jpg

Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Marvel Knights: Spider-Man #14

Marvel Knights: Spider-Man #14

Wild Blue Yonder Part Two

20 20 06 23 %h 41 25 gzm3c.png

Taking on a hit job for the Owl in exchange for a limitless supply of drugs, the Absorbing Man kills one of the targets by turning into metal and crushing them to death. Getting into the getaway vehicle, the woman who got him a job with the Owl waits. As they drive away, she says that Creel is predictable as he always turns in to metal and turns his hands into hammers in an attempt to smash his foes. Getting annoyed by her critique, Absorbing Man warns her about accusing him of being stupid. The woman tells him that she is suggesting nothing of the sort, saying he’s a creative guy and should start using that ability in the battlefield.

Meanwhile, at a training session at Stark Towers, Spider-Man has been stabbed by Wolverine’s claws.[1] Wolverine insists that it was an accident, but Spider-Man thinks he was stabbed on purpose over a previous altercation. Although he is bleeding, Spider-Man. Captain America tries to break it up, but Spider-Woman and Luke Cage both suggest that the pair are actually working through their problems. That’s when Iron Man flies in to split them up. Spider-Man tells them that he’s mad at Wolverine for hitting on his wife, but Logan denies doing any such thing.[2] However, Spider-Man is still spoiling for a fight and manages to slip out of Iron Man’s grasp but eventually passes out from blood loss. The rest of the New Avengers caution Wolverine about the repercussions if this turns out to be true, but Logan isn’t phased, telling them that if he wants him out of the team, he’ll leave.[3] That evening Peter Parker is in a sulky mood, but doesn’t tell Aunt May or Mary Jane why. When Peter and MJ go to bed for the night she sees that Peter’s all bandaged up. However, when she asks what happened, Peter says it’s not serious and promises he’ll take it easy over the next few days.

The next morning, Peter reports to his first day as a full-time employee of the Daily Bugle. When he meets up with reporter Ethan Edwards, Ethan instantly notices there is something wrong with him. Peter tells Ethan not to worry about it, but that’s when Edwards asks Peter if he’s prayed for the day. Although he admits he doesn’t know what faith Peter believes in, he suggests that a little faith can do wonders. Peter is made a little uncomfortable by all this and it gets more awkward when Ethan suddenly yanks Peter into a nearby supply closet. There he tells Peter to pray, saying that it will help. Peter decides to humor Edwards and closes his eyes and clasps his hands and makes a silent prayer. As he is doing so, he doesn’t notice Ethan lower his glasses as his eyes begin to briefly glow. When Peter opens his eyes again, he admits to Ethan that he does feel a bit better and the two leave the office to go looking for Spider-Man.

Meanwhile, a local mobster has hired armed guards to protect him after he heard that the Absorbing Man has been hired to carry out the Owl’s hitlist. They have heard stories of Creel using unconventional means to murder his victims, such as turning into dog shit and drowning the last guy he killed. However, the Absorbing Man manages to ambush them by absorbing the properties and blending in with a hardwood floor. This allows him to overpower the armed guards. Carl’s female companion is impressed by the strides he’s been taking to use his power with more imagination. As Creel begins beating the mobster, Peter Parker and Ethan Edwards are walking down the street discussing Peter’s close relationship with Spider-Man. When Peter explains his arrangement with the wall-crawler, they suddenly hear the sounds of the Absorbing Man’s attack.[4] Peter rushes into the ally and is shocked to see Ethan following after him. Peter quickly tells Ethan to cover the story on the ground while he takes photos from above, causing Edwards to wonder if Peter is trying to get rid of him.

Peter manages to get up to the rooftop and partially change into Spider-Man when the Absorbing Man tosses one of the armed guards out of the window. However, the web-slinger’s attempt to save the man is blocked by the Absorbing Man. Luckily, a large-framed man with a make-shift cape and mask tied around his face flies in and rescues the falling man. Telling Creel that they don’t have time for this, his female companion helps him escape by splashing Carl with a glass of water, allowing him to absorb its properties and getaway. When Spider-Man enters the building he discovers the grisly scene and finds the Absorbing Man’s female companion. However, when she attempts to claim she was just an eye witness to the carnage, but Spider-Man’s spider-sense tells him that she is lying. When the wall-crawler tries to nab her the Absorbing Man returns and attacks him. Listening to her commands, the Absorbing Man realizes that turning into a lighter material will allow him to easily move around by taking on the form of aluminum. Unfortunately for Creel, the effects of his drugs start wearing off and he begins feeling withdrawal symptoms. That’s when the new masked hero swoops in and knocks Absorbing Man out of the city with a single blow. When Spider-Man asks who this new character is, he flies off without a single word. That’s when Spider-Man notices that Creel’s accomplice is gone too and she stole his wallet out of the pants he discarded during the fight.

Later, the Absorbing Man’s female companion manages to find him hiding out at one of the Owl’s safe houses. There she tells him to suck it up and, showing him Peter Parker’s wallet, tells Creel that they have somebody to visit.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, New Avengers (Captain America, Iron Man, Wolverine, “Spider-Woman”, Luke Cage), Mary Jane Watson, J. Jonah Jameson, Ethan Edwards, Absorbing Man

Continuity Notes

  1. The woman who appears to be Spider-Woman here is actually a Skrull spy as revealed in Secret Invasion #3. The real Spider-Woman was replaced during the events of Giant-Size Spider-Woman #1.

  2. Peter and Mary Jane are referred to as husband and wife here. However, not long after this story, their marriage is erased from existence by Mephisto in Amazing Spider-Man #545. In the altered timeline, Peter and Mary Jane are engaged, not married.

  3. Captain America states here that he’s known Logan for a long time. The pair have known each other since World War II, first meeting in 1941 as seen in Uncanny X-Men #268.

  4. Peter states that he made a deal with Spider-Man, usually he tells people that they split the money but here he tells Edwards a more altruistic version of the lie, saying that he helps Spider-Man get the good press to counteract J. Jonah Jameson’s negative editorials. Peter has been providing explanations for getting his Spider-Man photos since Amazing Spider-Man #48 when he techniques could no longer be kept a secret and a lie needed to be told to protect his double identity.

Marvel Knights: Spider-Man #13

Marvel Knights: Spider-Man #13

Marvel Knights: Spider-Man #15

Marvel Knights: Spider-Man #15