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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Peter Parker: Spider-Man #5

Peter Parker: Spider-Man #5

The Trouble With Girls

This story continues from Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 2) #5…

Following their battle with the villainous Spider-Woman, Spider-Man carries the new heroic Spider-Woman — Mattie Franklin — to safety. Spider-Man is still shaking off the effects of the evil Spider-Woman’s sting. As he struggles to cross the nearby rooftops he thinks about how he promised his wife, Mary Jane, that he would give up being Spider-Man, he realizes that going back on his promise is leading to be nothing but trouble.[1]

Needing to rest, Spider-Man pulls them both into an empty office. There he takes off Spider-Woman’s mask and is instantly reminded how young Mattie Franklin is. He recalls that she told him that she got her powers from the Gathering of Five ceremony that was orchestrated by Norman Osborn. When he retired as Spider-Man, Mattie took over until she was unable to defeat Shadrac, forcing Peter to take on the identity once more. By this time, Mattie has woken up and Spider-Man asks her to explain everything while they still have time. She reiterates her origins once more, this time in more detail. Explaining that her father was originally asked to be part of the Gathering of Five, but he refused. Wanting to get out of stifling home of her family, Mattie went in his stead. When she shrieks in pain, Spider-Man suggests that she needs to see a doctor. She angrily rejects that idea, striking Spider-Man and says she’ll be fine once her powers kick back in. After she gets Spider-Man to promise to not take her to a hospital, Mattie passes out again. Spider-Man figures he’s going to need a stroke of luck to get through this situation alive, and this gives him inspiration about who he can go to for help.

Meanwhile, back at home, Mary Jane is trying to assure Aunt May not to worry about money, saying she hired a business manager to handle all of their expenses. Still, this does little to reassure Aunt May. When the phone rings, Mary Jane stops exercising to answer it. The person calling upsets Mary Jane instantly and she hangs up on him, assuring Aunt May it’s nothing.[2] However, Mary Jane is worried and wonders where Peter is, thinking that his life of mystery is over.

Elsewhere in the city, the Black Cat has just finished putting on her costume and goes out into the night.[3] She is eventually found by Spider-Man who asks him for help with the still unconscious Spider-Woman. Back at Felicia’s, the Black Cat can’t help but make a joke about how young Spider-Woman is. Mattie is awake long enough to hear this but passes out again. When the Cat asks what she can do, Spider-Man explains that their foe is still stalking them and he just needs the evil Spider-Woman distracted long enough for them to get a huge lead. While not far away, the evil Spider-Woman picks up the sense and begins heading toward the Black Cat’s apartment.

At that moment, Mary Jane and Jill Stacy are out looking for Peter. Jill wants to know what’s going on, but she is not getting any straight answers from Mary Jane. When Jill offers to have her father look into the obscene phone calls Mary Jane has been getting, Mary Jane declines the offer saying that she needs to find Peter. As they arrive at the Daily Bugle, all Mary Jane will say is that there are parts of Peter’s past that she thought were buried, and she will feel better when she finds him.

Back at the Black Cat’s apartment, the evil Spider-Woman comes crashing through the window. However before she can get her hands on Mattie, Spider-Man and the Black Cat gets between the two women. However, things quickly turn when the evil Spider-Woman tosses the Black Cat out the window, then taunts Spider-Man over who he will choose to save. At the Daily Bugle, Mary Jane and Jill ask Betty Brant if she saw Peter recently. Betty says that Peter rushed out of the Bugle when he heard about the Spider-Woman news but has no idea where he went but assures Mary Jane that he’s probably at home right now. At that moment, Spider-Man has leaped out the window to save the Black Cat. Firing a web-line, the Cat grabs it and the pair use their combined momentum to swing back into the apartment. With the tide of battle returning, the evil Spider-Woman decides to flee but as she escapes Spider-Man manages to tag her with a spider-tracer. Mattie is still struggling to remain conscious and Spider-Man gives her an ultimatum: go to the hospital or go back to her father’s home. Mattie wisely opts for going to the hospital. Before he leaves, the Black Cat jokingly tells Spider-Man that he can come back to sweep her off her feet once things don’t work out with him and “whoever”, the wall-crawler thanks her, telling her that she’ll be the first to know if that ever happens.

Back at home, Mary Jane looks at the ringing phone and vows not to let them do this to them again, and promises that he and Peter will have a normal life. She then unplugs the phone and cowers in the corner.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Spider-Woman (Franklin), Spider-Woman (Witter), Black Cat, Mary Jane Watson, Aunt May, Jill Stacy, Betty Brant, The Stalker

Continuity Notes

  1. There’s a lot of unpack here all at once, the facts:

    • Peter Parker decided to retire as Spider-Man following the events of the Final Chapter story arc.

    • Mattie Franklin was given spider-powers during the Gathering of Five event.

    • When Spider-Man went into retirement, Mattie took over as a new Spider-Man in Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 2) #1.

    • Peter Parker was forced to wear the webs again in Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 2) #2 and has been keeping it a secret from Mary Jane ever since.

    • Meanwhile, Mattie decided to become the new Spider-Woman, just as yet another Spider-Woman (created by Doctor Octopus) has been going around stealing the powers of all the past Spider-Women as seen in Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 2) #5

  2. This is a stalker who will continue to harass Mary Jane. His activities will escalate until Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 2) #13.

  3. The narrative states that the Black Cat was a burglar until she went legit and started her own private investigator. Black Cat opened Cat’s Eye Investigations in Felicia Hardy: The Black Cat #3.

Peter Parker: Spider-Man #4

Peter Parker: Spider-Man #4

Peter Parker: Spider-Man #6

Peter Parker: Spider-Man #6