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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Spectacular Spider-Man (vol. 2) #19

Spectacular Spider-Man (vol. 2) #19

Changes Part 3

Ther is a party going on up on the roof of the apartment building where Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson live. However, Mary Jane is not in the partying mood and seeing her watching the sunset, Aunt May asks her what’s wrong. She admits that she is worried about Peter, and May tells her that she always worried about Peter ever since his mother first told May that she was pregnant. However, May knows that Mary Jane is currently concerned about something Spider-Man related. Even though May now knows that Peter is Spider-Man, Mary Jane promised not to go into details with May right now.[1] All she can say is that Peter is going through a lot of changes right now. This is an understatement, as Spider-Man wanders around an alley, following the call of the woman who calls herself Queen as he is slowly transforming into a literal spider. As Peter loses more and more of his humanity, his thoughts become more and more muddled.

Meanwhile, at a Veterea’s Hospital, Captain America has just finished telling Nick Fury about how Ana Soria was transformed into the insect controlling Queen and how she has access to a bomb that will kill all humans in a six hundred mile radius leaving it for her, the insects, as well as the few humans that still have an insect gene in their DNA. Nick Fury is shocked to discover that this bomb was created by the United States government, and demands to know why they would create such a devastating weapon especially after learning that the half-life of the radiation would last over 900 years. This question is answered by Tommy, an elderly vet who was friends with Captain America during the war.[2] He tells Fury that it was a very different time, that this was during the Pre-McCarthy Era United States where the communist threat from the Soviet Union was an unknown commodity. The United States government was concerned over the Soviet’s nuclear capabilities and although they were trying to develop a new breed of super-soldiers it was only a smaller part of a much larger plan which included the creation of the bomb that Ana now has at her disposal. Basically, the plan was that if the Soviets tried to invade the United States the bomb would be used to wipe out everyone except for Americans who still carried the latent insect gene in their DNA. The super-soldiers that were selected, Ana among them, were exposed to the nuclear tests at Bikini Atoll in 1946. Hearing this, Fury can hardly believe it and asks how many people know about this. Captain America says there are seven, not including the president.

When asked to explain this level of secrecy, Captain America points to the assassination of President Kennedy in the 1960s. He tells Fury that the assassination was actually carried out by three Corsican mercenaries under the hire of Fidel Castro and the intelligence community knew about it three days leading up to the assassination and they allowed it to happen anyway. Knowing that this could kick off another world war, they used Lee Harvey Oswald as a patsy in order to cover it up.* Tommy concludes that curiosity kills and that Fury now knows one more secret that he will have to carry to the grave.

Elsewhere, Spider-Man continues to struggle, but he feels that Peter Parker is dying. He is soon found by the Queen who remarks that the web-slinger is looking a little worse for wear. When Spider-Man asks what she did to him, she explains that her kisses were used to pass along genetic material that has triggered the change that Spider-Man is going through. When she tells him to join her by her side, Spider-Man refuses and attacks. She continues knocking him back with her powerful screams, but Spider-Man continues to get back up in defiance of her demands. Ultimately, she knocks Spider-Man out and as she telekinetically carries him away, says this is all about retribution and how she’d knew he would eventually fall for him. A few moments after she is gone, the Human Torch arrives on the scene looking for Spider-Man. He reports back to Mister Fantastic, and Nick Fury to tell them that he has found nothing. Elsewhere the in city, Iron Man and the Wasp of the Avengers is working with Cyclops of the X-Men, and they too can’t find any trace of Spider-Man either. Also looking for Spider-Man is NYPD Detective Neil Garrett is conducting his own search, although he is annoyed by all the superheroes that are involved in this mess.

Back at command headquarters, Captain America and the others are informed that the Queen has begun a broadcast. Tuning in, they witness as the Queen who is broadcasting to every city that will be affected by the bomb and gives them fair warning that she will detonate the bomb by 9 am on Thursday, recommending that they consider evacuating everyone to the West Coast. Hearing this, Captain America figures they have at least two days to organize an evacuation of the affected areas but they could also use that time to hunt down and stop the Queen before she can use the bomb. However, Captain America doesn’t know what they should do.

While back in her hive, the Queen orders her drones to leave her presence while she goes to check on Spider-Man. She apologizes for what is going to happen but says it is too late to go back now. By this point, Spider-Man has fully transformed into a spider and she tells the web-slinger not to be sad because he is beautiful.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, the Queen, Captain America, SHIELD (Nick Fury), Neil Garrett, Aunt May, Mary Jane Watson, John Anderson, Mister Fantastic, Human Torch, General Ross, Cyclops, Iron Man, Wasp

Continuity Notes

  1. Aunt May had only just discovered that Peter was Spider-Man in Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 2) #35.

  2. As the Sliding Timescale pushes the modern age further from World War II, it becomes increasingly impossible for someone to have fought in World War II and still be alive in the modern age of the Marvel Universe unless their life has been prolonged due to artificial means. Since Tommy is part of Ana Soria’s origin, which is locked in 1945, an explanation for his apparent longevity has yet to be provided. One could assume that since he was involved in a secret government project to create super-soldiers he was probably part of some kind of treatment to prolong his life.

* The JFK Assassination in the Marvel Universe

Just like in real life, the JFK Assassination is subject to a lot of conspiracy theories in the Marvel Universe and the account that Captain America gives here puts it at odds of other explanations. They are:

  • Avengers West Coast #60, depicts Immortus pruning various alternate realities. One such reality has Lee Harvey Oswald being prevented from firing his shots from the book depository by an Agent Corrigan. This caused the only shots being heard on Dealy Plaza that day were ones that came from the Grassy Knoll (as believed in many “multiple shooters” conspiracy theories in real life) To be clear, this was an alternate reality (Earth-9007) and it was subsequently erased from existence. If there was as an actual shooter from the Grassy Knoll on Earth-616 remains unclear.

  • Wolverine (vol. 2) #49 has a flashback that features Wolverine and Sabretooth discussing the then-recent assassination of JFK. Sabretooth implies that he was somehow involved. As the pair have healing factors that cause them to age very slowly, this moment is considered factual.

  • There’s also Moon Knight (vol.4) #4, that suggests that a CIA mind control program had some part to play in the assassination, although it’s unclear what that involvement was.

  • Incredible Hulk (vol. 2) #12, in which John Riker claims that he was responsible for the assassination of JFK. However, this has been later deemed a topical reference because John Riker is a normal human that lives in the modern age of the Marvel Universe and thus he could not have been of an age to be involved in the assassination of JFK and eventually it will be impossible that he would have been alive at the time.

  • Lastly, then there’s Marvel: The Lost Generation #4, which features the First Line going to Dallas, Texas the day before the assassination to stop a Skrull scheme in the area. That story only mentions Lee Harvey Oswald as the assassin of JFK.

So which account is the right one? Well, my take is this — in the Marvel Universe, there were two shooters. Lee Harvey Oswald in the Book Depository and one on the Grassy Knoll. Sabretooth was probably the second shooter, which would make the CIA mind control angle from the Moon Knight stories make sense since the Sabretooth (as well as other Weapon X inductees) were often subject to mind control, false memory implants and the like.

If anyone cares to know my opinion on the real-life JFK assassination, I am satisfied with the official story since it can be proven as scientifically possible. However, I really enjoy comedian Ben Kissel’s theory that JFK blew his own fucking brains out best, because fuck everything else.

Avengers Disassembled Reading Order

Iron Man (vol. 3) #84-85, Thor (vol. 2) #80-81, Captain America and the Falcon #5, 6, 7, Captain America (vol. 3) #29, Avengers #500, 501, 502, 503, Iron Man (vol. 3) #86, 87, 88, 89, Captain America (vol. 3) #30, 31, 32, Fantastic Four #517, 518, 519, Spectacular Spider-Man (vol. 2) #15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, Thor (vol. 2) #82, 83, 84, 85, Avengers Finale #1, New Thunderbolts #1

Spectacular Spider-Man (vol. 2) #18

Spectacular Spider-Man (vol. 2) #18

Spectacular Spider-Man (vol. 2) #20

Spectacular Spider-Man (vol. 2) #20