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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Spider-Man Family #7

Spider-Man Family #7

Looter’s Quest

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The Looter arrives outside the Institute for Seismo-Harmonic Studies with his pet meteor which he has named Schmoopie. Looking up into the night sky he asks Schmoopie if “she” remembers where it all begins. He thinks about how the meteor came into his life and how the pocket of alien gasses trapped inside gave him his superhuman abilities, which led to his career as a costumed criminal.[1] Completely unhinged and thinking his meteor is a living thing, he orders Schmopie to use “her” cosmic power to blast open a way in, but in his head, he hears it complain that it is too tired after staying up late watching television. Still, the Looter is not without power of his own, and rips open the access to the ventilation system.

Meanwhile, Spider-Man is web-slinging across the city, bored out of his mind. That’s when his spider-sense turns his attention to a carjacking. However, dealing with it takes less than five minutes, and the web-slinger is back to being bored again. When he swings past the Institute Seismo-Haromic Studies he recognizes the Looter’s hot-air balloon and decides to check it out. Inside, the Looter has tied up all the scientists and is about to bombard Schmoopie with an experimental electromagnetic refractturalizer that will allow him to deeply scan Schmoopie’s energy signature so he can try and find “her” long lost twin. Spider-Man then arrives and yanks Schmoopie away, telling the Looter that the only place he could possibly find the equipment to track down the meteor’s twin is at the Baxter Building. The Looter demands that Spider-Man to give back his Schmoopie, threatening to throw one of the scientists down a shaft. Spider-Man tosses the meteor back to the Looter, but he lets go of the scientist to catch his beloved space rock, forcing Spider-Man to swing down and save the scientist. While the web-slinger is occupied, the Looter then fled the scene. When Spider-Man wonders where the Looter could have gone, he realizes that he gave the villain an idea on where to go next.

At that moment, at the Baxter Building, the Fantastic Four are getting ready to sit down and watch a movie with Reed and Sue’s son, Franklin, when the alarm goes off. They turn on the security monitor and find Spider-Man on the roof. He tells the Fantastic Four that the Looter is trying to break into their headquarters and he is soon joined outside by the Human Torch. That’s when the Looter strikes, blinding Spider-Man and the Torch with his flashgun and running inside while they are disorientated. Once they have regained their vision, Spider-Man and the Torch catch up with the rest of the Fantastic Four. As they head to Reed’s lab, Spider-Man explains why the Looter has come. This concerns Mister Fantastic who fears that his scientific devices might be too sophisticated for Norton Fester to operate properly. Inside the lab, the Looter has hooked up the meteor to one of Reed’s scanning devices and has pinpointed the location of its twin. Although the Human Torch, Thing, and Spider-Man are spoiling for a fight, the Invisible Woman puts up a forcefield between them and the Looter, because Reed is interested in learning that the Looter trying to accomplish. As it turns out, the Looter’s search for Schmoopie’s twin was a success as he has narrowed down its location to the Savage Land. While Spider-Man and the Fantastic Four argue on how to act on that information, the Looter slips away and steals one of the Thing’s Sky-Cycles to fly to the Savage Land. Spider-Man, the Torch and the Thing are then sent in the Fantasti-Car to stop the Looter.

After flying for hours they arrive in the Savage Land where they locate a strange temple with a glowing rock on it. Worse, they discover that it is the dominion of Stegron the Dinosaur Man. They also spot the Looter who is bowing before the reptilian menace. The Looter asks Stegron for the opportunity to look at the other meteor, but is refused. Before Stegron’s dinosaurs can eat him, Spider-Man and his allies arrive to pull the Looter’s fat out of the fire. Although the heroes are trying to get the Looter out of there without a fight, Stegron orders his dinosaurs to attack. The battle draws the attention of Ka-Zar and his wife, Shanna the She-Devil and they demand to know what’s going on. As Spider-Man explains why they have come to the Savage Land, Shanna notices that the Looter managed to slip away again and is now climbing up Stegron’s temple to get to the other meteor. They all take a short cut by using the Fantasti-Car to beat the Looter to the top of the temple. There, Spider-Man recognizes what the Looter thinks is a meteor, pointing out that it is the Sphere of Sarakath, a mystical object that gave him and Doctor Strange some trouble in the past.[2] That’s when Ka-Zar suggests that Norton seek out Doctor Strange’s assistance. Spider-Man tells the ruler of the Savage Land to stop giving the Looter ideas. Sure enough, Fester distracts them so he can run through the portal that the Sphere of Sarakath facilitates.[3]

Spider-Man, the Torch, and the Thing follow after him and find themselves transported to Greenwich Village out front of Doctor Strange’s Sanctum Sanctorum. They are invited inside by Wong, where Doctor Strange is sitting down and having tea with the Looter. They pull Doctor Strange aside and try to convince him that the Looter is just some crazy nut, however, Strange has decided that Fester is merely eccentric and has agreed to use the Eye of Agamotto to try and find the twin meteor he seeks. Strange then tells the Looter that he can find the meteor in Latveria. The Looter then rushes outside and tries to steal the Fantasti-Car. Doctor Strange reveals to his friends that he was in contact with Mister Fantastic and they actually set a trap for the Looter. They return to the Baxter Building where Mister Fantastic and the Invisible Woman have contained the Looter. Examining Schmoopie, Reed is intrigued with the specimen because it is unlike any meteor he has ever seen before. That’s when SHIELD agents arrive on the scene to contain the meteor, saying that it is a national security risk. As they take the Looter into custody, Reed has had a chance to theorize about the likely place where a twin meteor could have landed and figures it would have ended up on the moon. Overhearing this and looking up at the full moon in the sky, the Looter becomes convinced that’s where he’ll find the twin.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Looter, Fantastic Four (Mister Fantastic, Invisible Woman, Human Torch, Thing), Ka-Zar, Zabu, Shanna the She-Devil, Stegron the Dinosaur Man, Doctor Strange, Wong, SHIELD

Continuity Notes

  1. The origins recounter here are recapping the Looter’s origins circa Amazing Spider-Man #36. Norton later states that this happened “years ago.”, that happened about 10 years prior to this story.

  2. Spider-Man and Doctor Strange dealt with the Sphere of Sarakath in Sensational Spider-Man #21-23.

  3. The Looter tricks everyone by saying that Chtylock the dreaded Che-K’n Kau is on the rampage. This isn’t some made-up bullshit, this is a real creature that Spider-Man encountered in the Savage Land circa Sensational Spider-Man #13-15.

Topical References

  • Outdated pop-culture references: 30 Rock, Popular Science

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