64705678_10157722991506490_777492954360053760_o.jpg

Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Spider-Man Family #8

Spider-Man Family #8

20 20 08 03 %h 07 29 7sfaf.png

In the suburbs of New York, two brothers name Mitch and Kenny have hacked into the Starktech database seeking to find a new video game to play.[1] Once they have gotten access the pair think they are playing a new game, unaware that they have actually remotely accessed a robot that is being kept in storage.

At that moment, Jim Rhodes is watching Tony Stark building yet another suit of Iron Man armor. He is convinced that Tony is going to work himself to death and suspects that perhaps Tony’s work-a-holic mentality is due to some unresolved daddy issues.[2] Tony dismisses this and continues to work as Jim leaves the lab. At that same moment, at Empire State University, Peter Parker is tutoring other students when suddenly his spider-sense begins going off. Looking out the window he sees a robot outside on a rampage. After the classroom clears out, Peter changes into Spider-Man and goes out to face the robot. Watching from home, Mitch and Kenny are amazed by what they think is a sophisticated video game and become even more excited when they spot Spider-Man. Meanwhile, Tony is putting the finishing touches in his new armor when he gets a call about the robot out on a rampage.

Back on the scene of the battle, Spider-Man can’t help but take note that the robot keep on saying that the Axis must be destroyed. Before he can puzzle out what it means, the web-slinger saves a child who is in the robot’s path. The machine then opens its chest, revealing a weapon crackling with energy. Before it can fire, Iron Man arrives and blasts it with his repulsor rays, telling Spider-Man to get people to safety while he deals with this rogue robot. Once the area is clear, Iron Man also pulls Spider-Man out of the way and tells him the robot appears to be an upgraded version of Arsenal, a robot that was built to fight America’s enemies.[3] By this moment, Mitch and Kenny are distracted when their mother calls them both down for dinner. This causes the robot to pause momentarily allowing Iron Man to detect that it is being remotely controlled. That’s when more robots of the same type arrive and begin attacking both Iron Man and Spider-Man.

By this point, Iron Man has pinpointed the signals location and flies to the home of Kenny and Mitch. He discovers that the boys inadvertedly hacked into Starktech’s Arsenal protocols instead of the gaming division due to a glitch in the software they were using. However, the Arsenal robots are now out of control and cannot be stopped there. Stopping to get his new suit of armor, Iron Man then flies back to the scene of the battle to recover Spider-Man. He gives the web-slinger a device that, once brought close enough to the robot’s mainframe, should shut them all down. However, the robots follow them to the underground bunker built by Howard Stark. While fighting one of the robots, Iron Man’s face place is knocked loose and the robot — programmed with Howard Stark’s personality engrams — recognizes his “son”. Tony convinces the robot that the war is over and America won, prompting the robots to set their self-destruct sequences. Acting quickly, Iron Man quickly recovers the web-slinger and flies them both to safety.

In the aftermath of the battle, Iron Man lecuters Mitch and Kenny that hacking is against the law and says that he is enrolling them in courses through Stark Enterprises so they can learn how to use their programming skill ethically while working off the damaged they caused. Once that business is out of the way, Iron Man offers to upgrade Spider-Man’s web-shooters and costume. Spider-Man figures that would include infared vision, mechanical spider arms, and flight capabilities.[4] After considering this for a moment, Spider-Man passes on the idea and swings for home.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Iron Man, Jim Rhodes.

Continuity Notes

  1. This story takes place when Tony Stark was in charge of StarkTech and was wearing his modular armor. According to the Marvel Chronology Project, this story takes place between Infinity Crusade #6 and Amazing Spider-Man #381 for Spider-Man and Infinity War #6 and Avengers: The Terminatrix Objective #1 for Iron Man, or “year nine” of the Modern Age.

  2. There are some mentions about Howard Stark, his death, and the impact he had on Tony’s life. Some facts:

    • Although referred to as Tony’s father, Howard Stark actually adopted Tony at a young age, a fact that Tony himself won’t learn until years later in Iron Man (vol. 5) #17.

    • Jim suggests that Howard Stark must have worked himself to death. That’s not true. Allegedly, Howard and his wife Maria died in a car accident as explained in Iron Man #288. However, S.H.I.E.L.D. #5 suggests that Stark might have fabricated his demise, but to date (August 2020) there is no evidence to support this.

    • Jim is not wrong to suggest that maybe Tony has some unresolved daddy issues. Howard Stark was an abusive drunk when Tony was growing up.as first detailed in Iron Man #285.

  3. The original Arsenal robot first appeared in Iron Man #114. While Avengers Annual #9 also supports the theory that this robot was build during World War II. Iron Man (vol. 3) #84 contradicts this by stating that Arsenal was created during the Cold War. As of this writing (June, 2022) Marvel has yet to explain this discrepancy. It’s the theory of this Index that the WWII Arsenal robots were built by Tony’s grandfather Howard Stark, Sr. while the Cold War version was built by Tony’s father, Howard Stark, Jr.

  4. The features that Spider-Man suggest end up being used when Tony Stark does get around to upgrading Spider-Man’s costume when he invents the Iron Spider outfit that Spider-Man wore from Amazing Spider-Man #529 until Civil War #5.

Continuity Errors

  • Iron Man states that the original Arsenal was built as a sleeper robot to fight the Axis Powers if the Allies had lost World War II. This is not correct, as Iron Man #114 states that the robot was actually built during the Cold War, commissioned by the US government to defend America from the USSR. It was designed by Howard Stark (who is a character who has a longer life span than your average person. His longevity is, at I write this in August 2020, not explained but I would suspect that his involvement with the Brotherhood of the Shield gave him access to a means of slowing his aging process.)

Topical References

  • Dated references: Giganto, C3P0, MP3s, Energizer Bunny, iPhone

With Friends Like These…

Peter Parker is rushing out of the Daily Bugle and tires to make a reservation for his favorite sushi restaraunt for his girlfriend’s birthday.[1] He particualrly wants to go because this restaraunt has the best spicy tuna roll in the city. Unfortuantely, he is told that tables are first-come-first-serve and that there is only one table presently open. As he runs down the street he runs into Bobby Drake, whom he hadn’t seen since the incident with Morbius the Living Vampire and the X-Men.[2] Bobby asks Peter what he is up to and he tells Drake that he’s trying to get the last table at Sakura for a romantic dinner for his girlfriend for her birthday. As it turns out, Bobby is waiting on his own date to show up as he intends to take his girlfriend out there as well. The two men suddenly realize that they are now in direct competition with each other.

Running into a nearby alley, Bobby changes into Iceman and uses an ice-slide to race there. Deciding two can pay at this game, Peter goes up to a nearby rooftop to change into Spider-Man. He calls Gwen Stacy as he is doing so, telling her to meet him at Sakura. Meanwhile, Iceman swings past Central Park to pick up his date. By this time, Spider-MAn has caught up to him and tells him to give up the cahse, telling him that his girlfriend will kill him if he doesn’t get that table. However, Iceman thinks this is a friendly competition and covers Spider-Man’s hands in a block of ice before streaking off to the restaraunt. With his webshooters busted, Peter is forced to change out of his costume and take the subway.

He arrives to pick up Gwen 10 minutes late and tells her that they have to hurry to Sakura. Peter and Gwen arrive at the same exact time as Bobby and his date. However, when they ask for a table for two, both men are told that the last table was just taken. Inside, the Thing sits by himself enjoying the best spicy tuna roll in the city.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Iceman, Gwen Stacy, the Thing

Continuity Notes

  1. This story takes place back when Peter Parker was dating Gwen Stacy. Per the Chronology Project this story takes place between Amazing Spider-Man #107 and Marvel Team-Up #5 for Spider-Man, Marvel Team-Up #4 and Avengers #111 for Iceman, and Incredible Hulk #153 and Marvel Team-Up #6 for the Thing, or “year three” of the Modern Age.

  2. Spider-Man and the X-Men teamed-up and fought Morbius the Living Vampire in Marvel Team-Up #4.

Topical References

  1. Dated references: eBay

Spider-Man Family #7

Spider-Man Family #7

Spider-Man Family #9

Spider-Man Family #9