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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Spider-Man Family #9

Spider-Man Family #9

The Guy Who Turns Into the Hulk

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Spider-Man and Marvel Girl have been tasked with keeping an eye on Bruce Banner when they suddenly spot an armed robbery in progress.[1] Spider-Man and Marvel Girl quickly disarm the crooks and prevent them from stealing a priceless work of art. When asked how they managed to be on the scene, they explain how they there both aboard the SHIELD helicarrier after Nick Fury had captured Bruce Banner. That’s when they detected a UFO flying by and decided that following it with the guy who turns into the Hulk on board was a bad idea, so they sent Banner down to the city with Spider-Man and Marvel Girl to keep an eye on him while they dealt with the flying saucer. When the crooks realize that Banner is right there watching the fight, they stop putting up resistance. Spider-Man still wonders if it is a good idea to be out with Banner considering he might turn into the Hulk, but Marvel Girl’s mental probes assure her that Bruce is calm and everything is fine.

The trio then decides to go get coffee and a donut, however, when they arrive at Dungeons & Donuts, a woman grabs the last apple fritter. Since Banner wanted it for himself, Spider-Man snatches it away with his webbing, making it inedible anyway. Luckily, this doesn’t trigger a transformation into the Hulk and they sit at a table with some coffee trying to figure out what to talk about. That’s when they catch a news report about Doctor Octopus on the loose after stealing a million dollars worth of Casmium, a byproduct of Vibranium. Spider-Man is about to rush off to stop him when he realizes that he still has to babysit Banner. Spider-Man is reluctant to talk about his personal life because of his secret identity, but Bruce points out that they are sitting with a mind reader. Jean takes offense to this, saying that mutant telepaths get a bad rep for reading the minds of others without permission. Pass the time, they decide to relocate to a trendy restaurant since Fury is picking up the tab. Spider-Man is kept up to date on the Doctor Octopus situation thanks to a businessman having the news on his laptop. After they stop masked crooks from robbing the restaurant, Spider-Man decides to stop Doctor Octopus when there is news that he has taken hostages. Marvel Girl and Banner join him, but Spider-Man warns Banner not to turn into the Hulk.

In the battle, Spider-Man is busy getting people to safety while Marvel Girl defends Banner. However, Doctor Octopus knocks her down, prompting Banner to heroically carry Marvel Girl to safety. When he asks if she has been using her mental powers to keep him calm, she tells him that SHIELD actually injected him with a dampening agent. This upsets Bruce, but he decides to channel his anger in a constructive way by allowing himself to get captured by Doctor Octopus. The Doctor realizes that he has Bruce Banner in his grasp just as Bruce transforms into the Hulk. The Hulk easily beats Doctor Octopus into submission, and after a tense moment with Spider-Man and Marvel Girl, he leaps off without further incident. Even though Nick Fury is going to be mad at them, Jean admits that Banner was a nice guy, Spider-Man agrees that he is pretty nice for the guy who turns into the Hulk.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Doctor Octopus, Hulk, Marvel Girl, SHIELD (Nick Fury)

Continuity Notes

  1. This story takes place when Jean Grey operated under the identity of Marvel Girl and was wearing her green mini-skirt costume with yellow mask. Per the Marvel Chronology Project, this story takes place between Spider-Man/Human Torch #2 and Amazing Spider-Man #81 for Spider-Man, X-Men #66 and Incredible Hulk #125 for the Hulk and Spider-Man & the X-Men #1 and Fantastic Four: World’s Greatest Comics Magazine #3 for Marvel Girl. Doctor Octopus appears here between Sentry/Spider-Man #1 and Amazing Spider-Man #88. Or, in other words, this story takes place during “year three” of the Modern Age.

Identity

Peter Parker goes to the Mrs. Fong’s bodega to pick up some supplies for his Aunt May.[1] On his way out he is shocked when someone in a Spider-Man costume enters the store. Mrs. Fong tells Peter that Spider-Man has been coming in to her shop for almost a month for things to eat. As “Spider-Man” grabs some food and a can of soda, Mrs. Fong tells Peter that Spider-Man eats for free because he is a hero. Peter is annoyed that someone is impersonating him to take advantage of Mrs. Fong and decides to follow his impostor as Spider-Man.

He’s surprised when the impostor turns out to be a homeless kid not much older than he is that sleeps in a cardboard box in a nearby alley. Peter instantly feels sorry for the guy and wonders if what he is doing is really that wrong all considered. Troubled by the moral grey area, Peter returns home and poses the situation as a hypothetical to Aunt May. She figures that it depends on why that person is homeless in the first place, saying that people pretend to be something they’re not because they are too scared of being themselves.

That night, Spider-Man decides to pay another visit to the homeless kid impersonating him and finds the youth being rolled by some punks. Enraged by this scene, Spider-Man quickly sends the crooks packing. With his deception exposed, the young man explains his situation. His name is Mike and says that his father was too ill to look after him and he was taken in by Social Services. However, his foster home was an abusive one and he ran away from home. Needing to support himself, Mike then robbed Mrs. Fong’s store one night then returned in his Spider-Man costume to return the stolen possessions, tricking her into thinking that he was Spider-Man and getting to eat for free.

Spider-Man lectures Mike on being responsible and comes up with an idea how he can pull himself up from his situation. The next day, Peter Parker stops by Mrs. Fong’s store and she tells him about her new employee, Mike. She tells him how Spider-Man convinced her that Mike once saved his life and needs a job and a roof over his head because he is homeless. She took Mike in since she has room now that her grandson is going off to college and how great a worker Mike is, remarking that he is working like he has to repay some great debt. Peter is pleased to see that Mike and Mrs. Fong are happy with their arrangement, and considers this a job well done.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Aunt May

Continuity Notes

  1. Per the Chronology Project this story takes place early on in Spider-Man’s career happening between the events of Web of Spider-Man #19.1 and Avengers #1.5

Spider-Man Family #8

Spider-Man Family #8

Spider-Man/Red Sonja #1

Spider-Man/Red Sonja #1