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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Spider-Man: Lifeline #1

Spider-Man: Lifeline #1

Pieces of Fate

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While photographing the opening of a press party at a museum opening, Peter Parker’s spider-sense begins going off. He doesn’t like it when this happens in a large crowd but isn’t surprised given the situation. The opening is to unveil six new long lost fragments of the Lifestone Tablet. They were found by Louis Wilson, an archaeologist with a shady past. Peter then recalls his own complicated past with the Lifeline Tablet. Remembering how it was originally put on display at Empire State University when it was stolen by the Kingpin. Spider-Man was able to stop him, and later recovered the tablet when it was stolen for a second time by the Shocker. Although he handed it over to Captain George Stacy, it was later stolen yet again by Man-Mountain Marko for his bosses in the Maggia. This was so that the immortality formula on the tablet could be translated and given to their leader, the elderly mobster known as Silvermane. However, the immortality proved to be a double-edged sword as Silvermane ended rapidly de-aging until there was nothing left but dust. Still, he supposes that since Louis did his time he should give him the benefit of the doubt, even though he doesn’t know what became of the original tablet.[1]

Scanning the room with his camera, Peter takes stock of the people he knows,[2] when he suddenly notices that one of the waiters is Man-Mountain Marko. He wonders if Marko is also going legit or if this has something to do with the Lifeline Tablet. Deciding not to risk it, Peter rushes to the washroom to change into Spider-Man only to discover it’s occupied. When Marko begins trashing the place, Peter has no choice but to wear a tribal mask to conceal his identity. Although he manages to prevent the theft, Man-Mountain manages to get away. By this point, the police have arrived on the scene, Peter is able to return the stolen fragments while everyone is distracted. Peter changes into Spider-Man and stakes out the museum until Louis leaves for the night with the fragments. Following Wilson’s car, the web-slinger isn’t surprised when Man-Mountain Marko pops up from under a manhole cover and rips of the car’s rear axel to stop it from getting away. The Eel then arrives and snatches the fragments and flees the scene.

As the NYPD arrives on the scene, Spider-Man scoops up Louis and takes him up to the nearby rooftops to question. Wilson insists that he is no longer connected to the Maggia like last time. He insists on this since he has more to gain financially with the fragments then selling them to criminals because the fragments he found confirm that they do indeed hold the secret to eternal life. They are also priceless as the fragments date back to the Hyborian Age with ties to the lost continents of Atlantis and Lemuria. Spider-Man decides that Louis is telling the truth and leaves him for the police while he tries to track down Marko and the Eel. By this time, at a mansion on Long Island, Man-Mountain Marko and the Eel have delivered the stone fragments to Caeser Cicero, lawyer for the Maggia, who believes that they will bring him great wealth and power. However, the mansion is soon attacked by Boomerang who is working for Hammerhead, the leader of a rival Maggia faction. He easily overpowers both Man-Mountain and the Eel and steals the fragments with ease.

Back in the city, Spider-Man has paid a visit to Doctor Strange to see what he can learn about the Lifeline Tabet’s ancient history. Doctor Strange finds reference to the tablet in his ancient texts He discerns that the fragments would significantly alter the overall instructions of the main tablet and decides this requires further investigation. Doctor Strange then departs his astral form to confer with a colleague. Spider-Man leaves as well, telling the sorcerer that he’ll be back to see if he learned anything useful. The web-slinger then pays a visit to Arthur Stacy to take a look at the detailed journals of his late brother, George, to see if there is more info on the Lifestone Tablets in there. While Arthur goes to retrieve them from his safe, Spider-Man thinks about how George Stacy used to be part of his life through his romance with Gwen Stacy. This gets him thinking about how great things were when George was alive, how he supported everything Peter did. This leads to thoughts about George’s tragic death, killed while pushing a child out of the way of falling debris caused by a battle between Spider-Man and Doctor Octopus. Peter was shocked when George’s final words were revealing that he knew that Peter Parker was Spider-Man and asked that he looked after his daughter. His death put a wedge between himself and Gwen that never fully mended. Tragically, Gwen Stacy died shortly afterward at the hands of the Norman Osborn, the Green Goblin. This then gets Peter thinking of all the other people he lost along the way, particularly his best friend Harry Osborn, and most recently his wife, Mary Jane.[4] Peter thinks about how alluring the tablet would be since it could undo so much tragedy in his life and give him a second chance he so desperately needs. That’s when Arthur returns and, according to George’s diary, the Tablet was put into police evidence to use in a trail against Wilson Fisk. Calling George’s old precinct, Arthur uses his connections there to learn what happened to it and learns that it went missing about six months ago, around the time that Louis Wilson made his discovery. Having an idea who took it, Spider-Man thanks Arthur for his help and swings off try and find the missing artifacts.

By this time, Boomerang returns to Hammerhead’s hideout and turns over the fragments he stole from Caeser Cicero. Hammerhead doesn’t see the value of them, but Curt Connors — who is being forced to translate the tablet again to ensure the safety of his family — says that they could help in translate the tablet properly this time around. As Curt Connors walks away he thinks about the other reason why he agreed to do this, in the hopes it can also provide a means for him to kill his alter-ego, the Lizard, once and for all.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Maggia (Caeser Cicero, Hammerhead, Man-Mountain Marko, Eel, Hammerhead, Boomerang), Doctor Strange, Arthur Stacy, Curt Connors, J. Jonah Jameson, Joe Robertson, Randy Robertson, Marla Madison, Betty Brant, Louis Wilson

Continuity Notes

  1. There is a lot of ground to cover here so let’s dig right into it:

    • The Kingpin’s efforts to steal the Lifeline Tablet were chronicled in Amazing Spider-Man #68-70.

    • The Shocker later tried to steal the tablet in Amazing Spider-Man #72.

    • It was later stolen from George Stacy by Man-Mountain Marko in issue Amazing Spider-Man #73

    • Lastly, a formula was made for Silvermane who then drank it and de-aged to nothingness in Amazing Spider-Man #74-75. What this story doesn’t explain is that this process partially reverses itself and Silvermane returned Daredevil #123.

    • Peter recounts how all of this happened “years ago.” Per the Sliding Timescale of Earth-616, these events happened roughly 8 years prior to this story.

  2. Randy Robertson is identified as Peter’s roommate. At the time of this story, Peter moved in with Randy in Peter Parker: Spider-Man #18. They will live together until Amazing Spider-Man Annual 2001.

  3. George Stacy’s death occurred in Amazing Spider-Man #90. The poor guy pushed a kid out of the way of falling debris caused by a battle between Spider-Man and Doctor Octopus and was mortally wounded after getting flattened by a ton of bricks (literally).

  4. There’s another huge dump of continuity made here. The facts:

    • What trip down memory lane for Peter Parker is complete without mention of Uncle Ben getting killed in Amazing Fantasy #15.

    • He mentions how Peter graduated high school and then attended Empire State University where he first met Gwen Stacy. Those events happened in Amazing Spider-Man #’s 28, and 31 respectively.

    • Peter and Gwen started seriously dating sometime around Amazing Spider-Man #47.

    • One scene in this series of flashbacks shows Peter riding a motorcycle. Peter briefly owned one from Amazing Spider-Man #41 to 66. He was forced to sell it due to money issues.

    • Another flashback scene shows Aunt May in bed smiling at Peter and Gwen. May had been in ill-health around the time Peter and Gwen were dating needing to be hospitalized on two occasions in Amazing Spider-Man #55 and 57.

    • George Stacy met his tragic end in Amazing Spider-Man #90. As explained in Untold Tales of Spider-Man #1, George Stacy made the connection between Spider-Man and Peter Parker early on in the web-slinger’s career when he visited George Stacy for a job on the NYPD not long after the Ben Parker murder. This prompted Stacy to investigate Spider-Man’s ties to the Parker family.

    • While it’s true that Gwen was deeply affected by her father’s death, another reason why she was putting distance between herself and Peter was that she discovered that she was pregnant after an ill-advised affair with Norman Osborn and later gave birth to the children in secret This is won’t be revealed until Amazing Spider-Man #509-514.

    • She was later murdered by the Green Goblin in Amazing Spider-Man #121, not only because the Goblin knew Peter Parker’s secret identity (learning it back in Amazing Spider-Man #39-40) but also to further cover-up his illicit affair and bastard children.

    • Peter thinks Harry died due to complications of exposing himself to the Goblin Formula in Spectacular Spider-Man #200. However, Harry is actually alive having been secreted away to Europe to undergo rehab by his father. With the help of Mysterio, Norman has led everyone to believe Harry was dead, as explained in Amazing Spider-Man #581-582. Harry will turn up alive again in Amazing Spider-Man #545.

    • At the time of this story, Peter has also been led to believe that Mary Jane is dead after she seemingly perished in a plane crash in Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 2) #13. In reality, she is being held prisoner by a deranged stalker until Peter rescues her in Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 2) #29/Peter Parker: Spider-Man #29.

    • Peter refers to Mary Jane as his wife here. However, years later, their marriage is erased from existence by Mephisto in Amazing Spider-Man #545. In the new timeline, Peter and Mary Jane are still engaged but never get married.

Topical References

  • Dated pop culture references: The Matrix film and the Sopranos TV series are both referenced as being brand new.

  • Technology: Spider-Man refers to flat-screen televisions as “new”.

Spider-Man: The Mysterio Manifesto #3

Spider-Man: The Mysterio Manifesto #3

Spider-Man: Lifeline #2

Spider-Man: Lifeline #2