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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Spider-Man: Lifeline #2

Spider-Man: Lifeline #2

Snakes in the Grass

In the early hours of the morning, Officer Billy Neuhaus is coming home from the late shift at the NYPD evidence lock-up. As he tries to enter his apartment, he’s suddenly ambushed by Spider-Man who demands to know who paid him off to swipe the Lifestone Tablet. The web-slingers intimidation tactics work and he learns that the office was bought off by a mobster named Vinnie DeGliato.

Meanwhile, at a hideout in Brooklyn, Hammerhead gloats over how he stole the Lifestone Tablet as well as the recently discovered lost fragments. He now has Curt Connors trying to translate it in the hopes of gaining the key to immortality. They all remember how an incomplete formula was previously used by Silvermane, de-aging him to protoplasmic dust, and warn Connors to translate it properly this time.[1] Connors shows Hammerhead and Boomerang the computer reconstruction of the Tablet and fragments which show additional lines to the formula that will drastically alter the composition of the formula. Hammerhead isn’t interested in hearing the science and tells Connors to get to work, leaving Boomerang behind to keep an eye on him. Thrown to the ground, Connors begins transforming into the Lizard but reasserts his control by reminding himself that his with and son will be killed by Hammerhead if he fails. He also needs to recreate the formula because it may be the only thing that can rid him of the curse of the Lizard.

Back in Manhattan, Spider-Man compares notes with Arthur Stacy and they both deduce that Caeser Cicero and his minions, Man-Mountain Marko, and the Eel, are working against Hammerhead’s faction. Unaware that Hammerhead now has both the tablet and the fragments, Arthur figures that Caeser will use them as bargaining chips to solidify his control over the Maggia. Spider-Man thanks Arthur for his help and leaves as quickly as he arrives. The web-slinger soon arrives at Cicero’s mansion to see that he has brought in work crews to repair the damage done during Hammerhead’s attack even though it is the middle of the night. Cicero is furious that they were ambushed, but the Eel assures his employer that he can steal the fragments back As the Eel leaves the property in his car, Spider-Man tags the vehicle with a spider-tracer. Ambushing Caeser Cicero and Man-Mountain Marko, Spider-Man quickly webs them and presses Cicero for info. He learns that not only does Hammerhead have the tablet and the fragments, he is also forcing Curt Connors to translate it again. Spider-Man now must also save Connors, fearing that he might turn into the Lizard and hurt somebody.

Meanwhile, Doctor Strange’s astral form arrives in Atlantis on an information-gathering mission for Spider-Man after they learned that the Lifestone Tablet’s origins spring from ancient Atlantis and Lemuria. Strange meets with the Sub-Mariner who summons his vizir, who prepares the Ritual of Revelation to learn the secrets of the tablet. The ritual reveals that the Lifestone Tablet’s origins date back to the Hyborean era when Atlantis and Lemuria were the pinnacles of civilization. It is believed that the tablet is a formula that allows those who use it to transform themselves into the evolutionary peak. He also learns that the formula does not grant immortality, saying those who drank the formula created a passageway to the Halls of Infinity where an individual did as an individual could. Doctor Strange fears that whoever has the totality of the tablet could have access to the power of a God.

Back in New York City, Arthur Stacy catches Louis Wilson — the man who found the long lost fragments of the Lifestorne Tablet — locking something away in his safe. He tells the crooked archeologist that a mutual friend sends him to talk to him. He orders Louis to come clean or they might be looking at the end of the world. At that same moment, the Eel attacks the armed guards stationed on the roof of Hammerhead’s hideout. After he’s finished knocking them all out, Spider-Man webs his feet to the roof and knocks him out with a single punch. He climbs down the side of the building and looks inside one of the windows. By this time, Curt Connors has finished the formula so Boomerang starts harassing him in the hopes that Curt will transform into the Lizard. Boomerang is looking forward to the opportunity of gutting the creature. However, before Connor’s can start transforming, Hammerhead enters the room to check on the progress. Connors says that he translated the tablet to the best of his ability and created what he hopes to be the correct formula. He warns Hammerhead that there is no way of knowing how this formula will affect the person who drinks it, reminding them that this formula is radically different than the one he created for Silvermane years earlier. Hammerhead then considers making Curt drink the formula to see what will happen. Surprisingly, Curt attempts to drink it, making a prayer to his wife and son that it’ll cure him of the Lizard. Hammerhead orders him to stop and when he doesn’t, Boomerang shatters the flask before any of the liquid can get ingested.

That’s when Spider-Man comes crashing in through the window to stop them from harming Curt. In the ensuing battle, Hammerhead grabs Connor’s notes and makes a run for it while Spider-Man is busy with Boomerang. Knocked to the ground, Curt Connors spots a shard of the flask with a bit of the formula on it. Hoping it’s enough, Curt drinks it. By this time, Spider-Man has webbed up Boomerang and turns to check on Connors. He’s horrified to see that the formula transformed into the Lizard again, however this time the creature is even more mutated that ever before.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Maggia (Hammerhead, Caeser Cicero, Boomerang, Man-Mountain Marko, Eel), the Lizard, Arthur Stacy, Doctor Strange, Sub-Mariner, Lord Vashti, Louis Wilson

Continuity Notes

  1. SIlvermane’s attempt to get the formula off the Lifestone Tablet happened in Amazing Spider-Man #74-75. Per the Sliding Timescale of Earth-616, the events of that story happened about eight years prior to this story.

Spider-Man: Lifeline #1

Spider-Man: Lifeline #1

Spider-Man: Lifeline #3

Spider-Man: Lifeline #3