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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Tales of Suspense #57

Tales of Suspense #57

Hawkeye, the Marksman!

After saving one of his employees, Iron Man is pulled aside by Happy Hogan who asks for the iron Avenger to put in the good word for him to Pepper Potts. Changing out of his armor, Tony tries to help Happy out, but Pepper assumes that he is asking her out on a date. Deciding to go through with this, Tony decides to take her to Coney Island, the most unromantic place he can think of. There they watch Hawkeye the archer perform tricks for a disinterested audience.[1] That’s when one of the rides goes haywire, prompting Tony to quickly change into Iron Man and save the passengers. Seeing Iron Man in action, Hawkeye thinks he could get people to adore him if he followed by Iron Man’s example.

Returning home, the archer gets to work in his workshop and creates himself a colorful costume as well as a number of trick arrows to assist him in fighting crime. When Hawkeye goes out to test his new weapons, he happens upon a crook robbing a jewelry store. Hawkeye stops the thief with one of his arrows but is chased off by police when they assume he’s in league with the robber. Luckily, the Black Widow is passing by and decides to give Hawkeye a lift. Seeing that the archer is smitten by her, she takes Hawkeye back to her home and convinces him to go after Iron Man.

Back at Stark Industries, Tony watches as Happy asks Pepper out to the movies. After her dud of a date with Tony, she is more than happy to go and see a movie with Happy. After they leave, the facility is attacked by Hawkeye, prompting Tony to change into Iron Man to face the intruder. However, when confronting Hawkeye, Iron Man is struck by arrows covered in an oxidizing agent that causes his gauntlets and jet boots to rust. This forces Tony to strip off the ruined pieces of his armor and flee to find spares that he stashed elsewhere on the property. Meanwhile, Hawkeye figures he can make use of selling the discarded pieces of armor.

By this time, Iron Man has finished replacing his damaged armor and follows after Hawkeye’s car. Nearing La Guardia airport, Iron Man uses his repulsors to crash the car. Hawkeye runs on to the nearby pier where the two continue their battle. The Black Widow soon arrives to observe the fight but is struck by demolition air that ricochets off Iron Man’s armor. Seeing that Natasha has been injured, Hawkeye quickly scoops her up and escapes in a boat. Iron Man tries to follow after them but a heavy fog and air traffic from the airport prevent Iron Man from safely following after them. Recovering his damaged pieces of armor, Tony returns to Stark Industry where he paces until dawn wondering how Happy and Pepper’s date had gone.

Recurring Characters

Iron Man, Hawkeye, Happy Hogan, Pepper Potts, Black Widow

Continuity Notes

  1. Hawkeye’s real name is not revealed in this story. He is identified as Clint Barton in Avengers #64.

The Watcher’s Power!

The Watcher is observing planet T-37X when a war party from another planet arrives.[1][2] When they confirm the Watcher’s oath of non-interference, they prepare a massive Delta Cannon so they can overpower the inhabitances of T-37X and loot its abundant sources of gold and uranium.

However, the weapon suddenly grows hot to the touch and suddenly melts to slag. This was caused by Uatu who then uses his cosmic powers to change the aliens into negative beings and then banishes them to a far-off world ruled by massive metallic beasts. They don’t understand why the Watcher seemingly violated his vow to stop them.

That’s when the Watcher contacts them telepathically and reveals that he maintained his oath, as planet T-37X is the homeworld of the Watchers and he was defending his people.

Recurring Characters

Watcher, Rajaks

Continuity Notes

  1. The race of alien barbarians is unidentified in this story. They are revealed to be members of the Rajak race in Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe #8.

  2. Despite what a certain crowd-sourced website says, this is Uatu the Watcher and not some unidentified watcher. This is something those dipshits would know if they bothered doing proper research since this is clearly stated in Official Index to the Marvel Universe: Iron Man.

Tales of Suspense #56

Tales of Suspense #56

Tales of Suspense #58

Tales of Suspense #58