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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

War Machine #7

War Machine #7

Cold War!

Now

In the middle of the Siberian wastelands, War Machine and Hawkeye are in the middle of a fight with a Russian Cold War super-soldier called the Cold Warrior. The battle is being observed by Russian agents from People’s Research Station 27, a former Cold War era science facility. They include Major Konstantin Cherathy of the Russian military, Doctor Gregori Grotowski an expert in cryogenics, and Mack Mendalson, an American scientist who has become an unwilling participant in this whole affair.

With Hawkeye down, War Machine is caught in a one-on-one struggle with the Cold Warrior. However, the super-soldier has the ability to generate extreme cold which is having a negative effect on his already damaged armor. As War Machine struggles to get free he thinks back to how he got stuck in the middle of this mess…

Six Hours Earlier

War Machine had tracked Hawkeye to the middle of Siberia by tracking his old Avengers communi-card. Clint Barton is happy to see War Machine and invites him back to his shelter. There, Jim Rhodes strips off his armor and warms himself up with a bowl of Hawkeye’s patented chili.[1] Jim then asks for Clint’s advice when it comes to killing an opponent. He references how he killed a lot when getting involved in the overthrow of Imaya’s dictator at the cost of the life of his friend, Vincent Cetewayo. He also mentions the recent life or death battle he had with Deathtoll as well.[2][3] Both of these incidents have proven that taking a life gets easier each time and Jim is worried that it will soon be impossible to stop.

This is increasingly problematic since the United Nations has deemed War Machine as a blatant threat to world peace. This has made Jim’s day job as the director of WorldWatch, a humanitarian organization, much more difficult. Since War Machine was involved in two of WorldWatch’s investigations, the organization has faced increased pressure to distance themselves away from the vigilante, an issue that Jim has remained silent on so far. He admits to Clint that he’s about ready to chuck the War Machine identity all together, particularly since his armor is in pretty rough shape after his recent conflicts.

Clint responds by telling Jim about a secret he has kept for years that dates back to when he first joined the Avengers.[4] At the time, he started hanging around a cop bar so he could learn about how cops handle the bad guys with nothing but courage and a gun. He remembers that one cop had shot three men in the line of duty and bragged about it all the time, saying it was them or him. Then there was another cop, a rookie who had it all: a beautiful wife, a baby girl. One night this officer was in rough shape because the week before he was forced to open fire, killing one and wounding another. Internal Affairs at the NYPD deemed the shooting warranted and cleared him of any wrong doing, but the rookie cop wasn’t the same after that. Eventually, he stopped coming to the bar and Clint later learned that one night he took his own life because he couldn’t live with what he had done. Finishing his story, Clint tells Jim that avoiding taking a life is impossible sometimes and the two easiest ways to deal with death is to stop caring all together or caring too much. In order to stay sane is to find some middle ground and make peace with what you have done. Rhodes takes this to heart, admitting that it makes things clearer, if not easier to cope with.

Changing the subject, Jim asks Clint why he has come out all this way. Hawkeye explains that a colleague named Mack Mendleson went missing from his apartment recently and using a tracking device he was able to pin down his location to somewhere nearby.[5]

At that same time, Konstantin Cherathy and Doctor Gregori Grotowski had Mack Mendelson working on a way to reviving the Cold Warrior from his cryogenic suspension. Mendelson succeeds just as Hawkeye and War Machine narrow down his location. The Russians unleash the Cold Warrior on the two American heroes…

Now

War Machine had been trying to convince the Cold Warrior that the Cold War is over, but the super-soldier does not believe him. With his armor about to shut down due to the extreme cold, War Machine gets some help from Hawkeye. Shooting his ally with a thermal arrow, the flames and heat thaw out the armor and revitalize it. This allows War Machine to blast the ground out from under Cold Warrior’s feet causing him to be buried up to his neck in ice and snow. With Cold Warrior defeated, War Machine forces Konstantin and Gregori to agree to try and revert the Cold Warrior back to normal. Mack Mendelson also tries to help but unfortunately, Cold Warrior’s life support system was hooked into the kinetic conversion unit that gave him his powers. Upon shutting the weapon down, Cold Warrior seemingly died in the process.[6] This deeply upsets War Machine because he didn’t want to take another life. Hawkeye points out to Jim that his ability to question his actions makes him a lot better than the villains he has been forced to kill recently, as they all took lives with no compunctions.

War Machine then returns to the bunker with Hawkeye and Mendelson so that Mack can look over the damage to his armor. Mack admits to Jim that the armor is sophisticated but fixable, however in order to do so he will have to have access to the original schematics. Jim was afraid of this as he never wanted to come crawling back to Tony Stark after their recent falling out.[7] Jim realizes that he’s got no other choice but to have a long needed talk with Tony Stark.

Recurring Characters

War Machine, Hawkeye, Mack Mendelson, WorldWatch (Rebecca Bergier, Ranald Jeffries, Sheva Joseph)

Continuity Notes

  1. While surrounded by Stark Enterprise supply boxes, Jim says he’s not a fan of the decor. This is in reference to the fact that Jim and Tony Stark recently had a falling out in Iron Man #289.

  2. War Machine killed a large number of soldiers as well as the Imayan dictator Eda Arul in War Machine #1-4. His clash with Deathtoll led to the assassin’s death in War Machine #5-6.

  3. Hawkeye states that he has taken a life before but it was by accident. This is in reference to Egghead who seemingly died in Avengers #229. The villain was trying to shoot Hank Pym in the back but Hawkeye fired an arrow into the barrel of his gun in order to jam it. The weapon misfired and exploded in Egghead’s face, seemingly killing him. However, Egghead had previously injected himself with a rejuvenation serum which allowed him to cheat death. He will turn up alive again in Ant-Man Annual #1.

  4. Hawkeye joined the Avengers way back in issue #16 of their series, but you knew that already didn’t you?

  5. Mendelson had become an ally to Hawkeye by creating equipment for the archer starting in Hawkeye (vol. 2) #3.

  6. As of this writing in November, 2022, the Cold Warrior remains among the deceased.

  7. Hawkeye states that he’s not much of a fan of Tony Stark these days either. Hawkeye hasn’t been happy with Iron Man since he learned Stark was responsible for the dissolution of the West Coast Avengers. Clint found out in Marvel Comics Presents #161. At the time, Clint had gone solo after the apparent death of his wife Mockingbird in Avengers West Coast #100. In reality, this was a Skrull impostor as we’ll learn in Secret Invasion #8.

Topical References

  • One of the central plot points of this story is that the Cold Warrior has been frozen since (you guess it) the height of the Cold War. Characters refer to this having been about 30 years prior to the story. While Cold Warrior’s Cold War roots are not topical, the length of time between the Cold War and this story would be. Due to the Sliding Timescale the number of years between the end of the Cold War and the start of the Modern Age will continue to widen. For how the math on something like this would work out, click here for an example.

  • That all said, any direct connection to the other Russian cast members to the former Soviet Union (which collapsed in 1991) should be considered topical. Modern readers should interpret them as Russian nationalists that wish Russia to return to the way it was when it was part of the USSR but not having lived it themselves.

  • When discussing his liberation of Imaya, Jim calls it his “John Wayne act” This is in reference to the Hollywood actor best known for his roles in Westerns. Frequently John Wayne’s characters were conquering heroes who would ride in and save the day and kill all the bad guys like it was nothing. This could be considered a topical reference as there are more contemporary examples that could be used in the place of John Wayne.

  • War Machine refers to his suits stealth technology as a “Romulan cloaking device”, this is reference to the Star Trek series. One of the alien races featured on the series and it’s many spin-offs are the Romulans who used cloaking technology to make their space ships invisible. This should be considered a topical reference due to the fact that cloaking devices have long since become a regular staple of science fiction, not just something unique to Star Trek and, as such, more contemporary examples could be used in its place.

War Machine #6

War Machine #6

War Machine #8

War Machine #8