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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Web of Spider-Man Annual #2

Web of Spider-Man Annual #2

Nick Peron

Wake Me Up I Gotta Be Dreaming

It's the middle of the night at Professor Xavier School For Gifted Youngsters, where the alien known as Warlock watches a number of televisions in order to learn more about Earth culture. He is interested in the acts of heroism on display on various television shows and wishes he himself wasn't such a coward. His television viewing wakes up his fellow New Mutants, who are unimpressed that Warlock has been up all night watching television. The alien being is apologetic to his friends, and they easily forgive him. Illyana points out that Warlock's problem is that outside of his adventures with the New Mutants, his only other education comes from television, giving him a warped view of the world. She tells him that he actually needs to go out into the world and learn from real life. This all confuses Warlock, but the kids head off to bed, looking forward to sleep and dreams. Before they go, Warlock asks Rahne where he can find "real life" and dreams that they speak of. Wolfsbane suggests that New York City would be the ideal place for a human to find both. However, she warns Warlock not to go alone, because it is too dangerous. When the others go to bed, Warlock can't help but want to go to New York so that he can finally stop being such a coward. Knowing that he needs to keep a low profile in the outside world, Warlock transforms himself into the Mach-5 race car from the cartoon Speed Racer, unaware that this would make him even more of a spectacle out in the world.

Meanwhile, in Manhattan, Spider-Man is swinging across the city, complaining to himself about getting a ticket for littering. His grumbling is quickly ended when he spots a group of laboratory test animals running through the streets, frightening passers-by. Spotting the window they are escaping from, Spider-Man swings over and sets up his camera before hopping inside. Inside, he finds members of the Animal Liberation Front freeing the test animals from their cages. At first, they are startled by the masked hero but think he will be on their side since they believe their ideas of animal liberation are right. Spider-Man points out the flaw in their plan: in freeing the animals they are letting them loose in the city where they are terrified and could be killed. The ALF members try to flee, but Spider-Man grabs one of their members. He tells her that they have no right to damage property and points out that the scientists who test these animals are trying to help people. However, the woman disagrees, telling him that these animals don't deserve the way they are being treated and would rather people be dead than these animals. The hero tries to explain to her that she is probably alive thanks to animal testing that helped create flu vaccines and penicillin. This doesn't get through to the girl, she tells him that she'd rather die with the animals, pointing out that if they are willing to experiment on animals, that people won't be very far. She even suggests that Spider-Man was probably someone's experiment. Finally, she tells him that scientific progress is ruining the planet and flees. Spider-Man finds himself in a dilemma, does he chase after the ALF members or save the animals they set free.

Looking around the lab, and seeing the equipment that the scientist use to test on animals, the wall-crawler finds himself wondering who the real criminals are, the kids or the scientists. Thinking of how he got his powers, Spider-Man wonders if the "experiment" was worthwhile. Morally conflicted, the web-slinger collects his camera, satisfied that he at least got some newsworthy photos for the Daily Bugle. Elsewhere in the city, Warlock has arrived in Manhattan and disguises himself as a popular late-night talk show host to try and keep a low profile. Realizing he is attracting too much attention to himself, Warlock changes into a more non-descript form. Running low on power, he uses his transmode virus to convert a weed growing out of the sidewalk to drain it of its energy. Warlock finds it has very little energy to offer, deducing that this environment is not conducive to a living being.

As he strolls down the street, Warlock helps a taxi driver put a heavy trunk onto the roof of his cab for a customer. He then comes upon Spider-Man who is delivering some of the escaped animals to the lab. There is a representative of the ASPCA there who tells the wall-crawler that even though he doesn't agree with their methods, the Animal Liberation Front was right about the lab and he will see it get shut down. Recalling how the New Mutants consider Spider-Man a friend, Warlock extends his neck so he can greet the wall-crawler on the side of the building. However, no sooner has he introduced himself, he realizes he compromised his identity and flees. As he watches Warlock flee, Spider-Man wonders if he should abandon his search for the escaped animals to see what he can do to help. Having dropped his disguise, Warlock chastizes himself for betraying his friends. However, his mood suddenly changes when he comes across a toy store. Thinking the robots in the display window are living beings like himself, Warlock goes inside. The staff and patrons think that Warlock is some kind of new toy for sale. However, among the customers are Doctors Karl and Reni Weber who recognize Warlock as a technorganic construct.

Hearing that Warlock is looking for food, the Webers invite him back home for some food. The naive alien agrees to accompany them, assuming a human form so as not to draw attention. Soon, Warlock is brought to the Weber's laboratory, which is split in half. Reni's side is a mess while Karl's is organized. Warlock. There, the alien has an altercation with a vacuum, until Warlock sucks up its inner components and draws energy. Realizing that they are dealing with a living being, the Weber's try to feed it fast food, but this only makes Warlock sick. Seeing a potential fortune to be made from Warlock, Karl asks Warlock if he can examine the alien's body. Warlock breaks off a portion of his "hair" and gives it to Karl to analyze then begins hitting on Reni. Examining the portion of Warlock convinces Karl that the being is alive and asks for more to study. Warlock refuses, saying removing a larger portion of his body hurts. Instead, Karl decides to run some experiments on the alien instead. He hooks Warlock into a device called the Karlotro-Meter MX-6. The energy that ends up being fed into Warlock begin overloading the technorganic being causing him to grow in size. Going into a panic, Warlock tells them to turn off the power. A moment later, Spider-Man is swinging through the city complaining how boring it is when suddenly he hears the sound of large footsteps around the corner. Going to investigate it, Spider-Man is shocked to find Warlock, having taken on the form of Godzilla, is rampaging through the streets.

Warlock has Reni in his clutches and is being followed by Karl. Reni begs Karl to give back the piece he took from Warlock, but Karl refuses to do so because of its scientific value. Spotting Karl, Spider-Man asks him what is going on and learns what has happened. Spider-Man scolds Karl Weber for experimenting on Warlock, as he is a living being, realizing that he is using the same reasoning as the Animal Liberation Front. He ultimately convinces Karl to return the piece of Warlock that he had taken. As Karl rushes back to his lab, Spider-Man goes after Warlock to keep him distracted until Karl can get back. Spider-Man sets up his camera and tries to talk sense into Warlock. However, the alien explains that if he stops to talk he will ultimately explode and knocks Spider-Man aside. Changing into King Kong, Warlock begins climbing up the side of a building. Spider-Man webs up Warlock's feet, and demands that he let Reni go. He lets the woman go, but tells Spider-Man to free him otherwise he will explode there. Spider-Man suddenly feels horrible because he is exploiting Warlock by taking pictures of him, making him no better than Karl Weber. That's when Karl arrives with Warlock's component. However, it is too late as Warlock is hitting critical mass. With no choice, Spider-Man rips away the webbing allowing Warlock to turn into a rocket and blast off into the sky where he explodes.

Upset at himself for standing by while Warlock sacrificed his life, Spider-Man crushes his camera with his bare hands. As the trio thinks about how they treated a living being, they all blame themselves for Warlock's death. However, Warlock's heavily drained body falls from the sky and collects in a pool in front of them. Back at the lab, Warlock is recharged and returns to normal. After watching a news report about his activities, Warlock is offended that he is being labeled as a terrorist and vows never to watch television again. Later that evening, Spider-Man returns Warlock to Xavier's school where he tells the New Mutants what happened. While the others hope Warlock has learned a valuable lesson, Spider-Man and Wolfsbane watch as Warlock takes on human form (both inside and out) to see if he can dream.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, New Mutants (Warlock, Mirage, Magik, Cannonball, Cypher, Wolfsbane, Magma)

Continuity Notes

  • Warlock is depicted as resembling David Letterman, who at the time of publication was the host of the late-night talk show "Late Night with David Letterman". The crowd reacts to him as though this show is still on television. This, naturally, should be considered a topical reference per the Sliding Timescale of Earth-616 that is relative to the time of publication. Particularly since Letterman retired from "Late Night" in 2015.

  • Spider-Man first met the New Mutants in Marvel Team-Up Annual #6. Warlock mentions how he heard about Spider-Man from his teammate Cannonball. Likely, Sam Guthrie was telling Warlock about the time he and Spider-Man worked together in Marvel Team-Up #149.

You're Lying, Peter Parker

Trying to get dressed, Peter Parker is interrupted and literally caught with his pants down by his foe the Hobgoblin. As he finishes getting dressed, Peter tells the Hobgoblin that he knows that he is really his old high school tormentor, Flash Thompson. When the Hobgoblin accuses Peter of being Spider-Man, Parker denies it, saying that the costume hanging on his chair is actually a pair of pajamas. Suddenly, there is a knock at his apartment door. It's his Aunt May, who asks Peter who he is talking to, but he says that she is hearing nothing but the vacuum. He tells the Hobgoblin to keep it down and give him a moment to deal with his Aunt so he can maintain his secret identity.

In the kitchen, May asks Peter why he is casting a shadow and she is not. Peter makes up a scientific excuse to explain it. However, when Aunt May turns her back, this "shadow" turns out to be the alien symbiote that Peter used to wear as a costume. Peter manages to kick the symbiote away when there is a knock at the door.

Answering it, Peter finds the Kingpin who has come to offer Spider-Man a job. When Peter tries to tell him that Spider-Man isn't there, the crime boss reveals that he knows that Peter is really Spider-Man. the Kingpin tells the hero that he could use the money when Aunt May enters the room. The Kingpin charms her and she takes him into the kitchen for tea. Peter tries to tell her that they have other things to do, but can't think of an excuse to get rid of the Kingpin. Hearing something outside, Peter looks out the window and finds the Black Fox lurking around in the yard. The master thief mocks Spider-Man for allowing him to get away. Peter snatches the knife out of the Black Fox's hand, cutting his own hand in the process. He tells the villain that he will capture him. The Black Fox scoffs at this and suddenly Parker hears screams. Thinking his Aunt is in trouble, Peter races off to the kitchen.

In the kitchen, Aunt May appears to be fine and tells Peter to join her and the Kingpin for tea. However, she tells him to watch the blood off his hands first and points out that his strange shadow has returned. As Peter struggles to fight off the symbiote, J. Jonah Jameson comes over to know why Peter turned down an assignment that will take him overseas. Jameson and Aunt May begin arguing over who takes up more of Peter's time. That's when Aunt May finds Spider-Man's costume in the laundry. Peter tries to come up with more lies when Jameson suddenly notices the Kingpin is hanging out in their kitchen. From the living room, the Hobgoblin becomes tired of waiting and warns Peter that he is coming. Just then, the Black Cat comes crashing in through the window accusing Peter of lying to her about his love, Peter tries to explain that he has never seen her before.

Suddenly, Peter wakes up to the sound of the phone ringing, realizing his entire ordeal was just a dream. It's Mary Jane and she is furious that Peter missed their date. When he tries to come up with an excuse, Mary Jane furiously tells him that she figured the lies would stop once she revealed that she knows he is really Spider-Man and hangs up. He next gets a call from Aunt May, and tells her that he can't see her because he has to work at the Daily Bugle. He gets another call from someone telling him about Flash Thompson, but Peter plays dumb about what he knows about Flash. He then gets a call from J. Jonah Jameson who wants to know why he isn't at work. Peter explains that he thought he was fired, but says he can't come in because he has to look after his Aunt May. After the phone finally stops ringing, Peter wonders why he felt so paranoid making up all these excuses. He figures he probably had a nightmare but can no longer remember what it was about. Figuring that it is just as well, he changes into Spider-Man and swings off, happy that he at least has one last thing to worry about.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Mary Jane Watson

Continuity Notes

Web of Spider-Man #19

Web of Spider-Man #19
Web of Spider-Man #20

Web of Spider-Man #20